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ORISON SWETT MARDEN 

Author of 

" Peace, Power, and Plenty, 1 ' " Every Man a King," etc. 

Editor of Success Maga-x.int 




NEW YORK 

THOMAS Y. CROWELL & CO. 

PUBLISHERS 



Copyright, 1910, 
By ORISON SWETT WARDEN 



Published October, igio. 



€ 



t£V 



©CLA275662 



CONTENTS 



PAGE 



CHAPTER I 

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF I 

CHAPTER II 

ECONOMY THAT COSTS TOO MUCH 1*] 

CHAPTER III 

WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 39 

CHAPTER IV 

THE STRAIN TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 53 

CHAPTER V 

NATURE AS A JOY-BUILDER 6j 

CHAPTER VI 

EIGHT HUNDRED SIXTY-NINE KINDS OF 

liars yy 

CHAPTER VII 

THE QUARRELING HABIT 95 

CHAPTER VIII 

THE RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE 105 



vi CONTENTS 






PAGE 


CHAPTER IX 




THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 


119 


CHAPTER X 




LOVE AS A TONIC 


143 


CHAPTER XI 




KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 


l6l 



CHAPTER XII 

GETTING THE BEST OUT OF EMPLOYEES 187 

CHAPTER XIII 

don't let your past spoil your future 195 

CHAPTER XIV 

ALMOST A SUCCESS 205 

CHAPTER XV 

THE BORN LEADER 211 

CHAPTER XVI 

THE PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 225 

CHAPTER XVII 

FUN IN THE HOME 24I 

CHAPTER XVIII 

NEGLECT YOUR BUSINESS BUT NOT YOUR 

BOY 263 

CHAPTER XIX 

MOTHER 269 



CONTENTS vii 

PAGE 

CHAPTER XX 

THE HOME AS A SCHOOL OF GOOD MAN- 
NERS 293 

CHAPTER XXI 

SELF-IMPROVEMENT AS AN INVESTMENT 299 

CHAPTER XXII 

A RELIGIOUS SLOT MACHINE 315 



L BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 




I. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

|T is a rare thing to find a 
person who is really master- 
ful in his personality, mas- 
terful in what he under- 
takes; who approaches his 
task with the assurance of 
a conqueror; who is able to grapple vigor- 
ously with his life problems; who always 
keeps himself in condition to do his best, big- 
gest thing easily, without strain; who seizes 
with the grip of a master the precious op- 
portunities which come to him. 

In order to keep himself at the top of his 
condition, to obtain complete mastery of all 
his powers and possibilities, a man must be 
good to himself mentally, he must think well 
of himself. 

Some one has said that the man who depre- 
ciates himself blasphemes God, who created 
him in His own image and pronounced him 
perfect. Very few people think well enough 
of themselves, have half enough esteem for 
their divine origin or respect for their ability, 
their character, or the sublimity of their 
possibilities; hence the weakness and ineffec- 
tiveness of their careers. 

People who persist in seeing the weak, the 



4 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

diseased, the erring side of themselves; who 
believe they have inherited a taint from their 
ancestors; who think they do not amount to 
much and never will ; who are always exag- 
gerating their defects ; who see only the small 
side of themselves, never grow into that big- 
ness of manhood and grandeur of woman- 
hood which God intended for them. They 
hold in their minds this little, mean, contemp- 
tible, dried-up image of themselves until the 
dwarfed picture becomes a reality. Their 
appearance, their lives, outpicture their poor 
opinion of themselves, express their denial of 
the grandeur and sublimity of their possibili- 
ties. They actually think themselves into 
littleness, meanness, weakness. 

" As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." 
His opinion of himself will be reproduced by 
the life processes within him and outpictured 
in his body. If you would make the most of 
yourself, never picture yourself as anything 
different from what you would actually be, 
the man or woman you long to become. 
Whenever you think of yourself, form a men- 
tal image of a perfect, healthy, beautiful, no- 
ble being, not lacking in anything, but pos- 
sessing every desirable quality. Positively 
refuse to see anything about yourself which 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 5 

would detract from your personality. In- 
sist upon seeing only the truth of your be- 
ing, the man or woman God had in mind 
when he made you, not the distorted thing, 
the burlesque man or woman, which your 
ignorance and unfortunate environment, 
wrong thinking and vicious living have pro- 
duced. The estimate you have of yourself, 
the image of yourself which you carry in 
your mind, will mean infinitely more to you 
than other people may think of you. 

If we would make the most of our lives, 
if we would be and do all that it is possible 
for us to be and to do, we must not only 
think well of ourselves, but we must also be 
just to ourselves physically, be good to our 
bodies. In order to be the highest, the most 
efficient type of man or woman, it is just as 
necessary to cultivate the body, to develop 
its greatest possible strength and beauty, as 
it is to cultivate the mind, to raise it to its 
highest power. 

There are plenty of people who are good to 
others, but are not good to themselves. They 
do not take care of their own health, their 
own bodies, do not conserve their own ener- 
gies, husband their own resources. They are 
slaves to others, tyrants to themselves. 



6 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Faithfulness to others is a most desirable 
trait, yet faithfulness to yourself is just as 
much of a requisite. It is as great a sin not 
to be good to yourself as not to be good 
to others. It is every one's sacred duty 
to keep himself up to the. highest possible 
standard, physically and mentally, otherwise 
he can not deliver his divine message, in its 
entirety, to the world. It is every one's sacred 
duty to keep himself in a condition to do the 
biggest thing possible to him. It is a posi- 
tive sin to keep oneself in a depleted, run- 
down, exhausted state, so that he can not 
answer his life call or any big demand that 
an emergency may make upon him. 

There are many people of a high order of 
ability who do very ordinary work in life,' 
whose careers are most disappointing, sim- 
ply because they do not keep themselves in a 
physical and mental condition to do their 
best. 

In every place of business we find em- 
ployees who are only about half awake, half 
alive ; their bodies are full of dead cells, pois- 
oned cells, because of vicious living, vicious 
thinking, vicious habits. Is it any wonder 
that they get so little out of life when they 
put so little into it? 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 7 

I know men in middle life who are just 
where they were when they left school or 
college. They have not advanced a particle; 
some have even retrograded, and they can not 
understand why they do not get on, why they 
are not more successful. But every one who 
knows them sees the great handicaps of in- 
difference to their health, neglect of their 
physical needs, dissipation, irregular living, 
slipshod, slovenly habits, all sorts of things 
which are keeping them down, handicaps 
which even intellectual giants could not drag 
along with them and make any kind of prog- 
ress. 

Everywhere we see young men and women 
crippled in their careers, plodding along in 
mediocrity, capable of great things, but doing X. 
little things, because they have not vitality 
enough to push their way and overcome the 
obstacles in their path. They have not been 
good to their physical selves. 

An author's book is wishy-washy, does not 
get hold of the reader because he had no 
vigor, no surplus vitality, to put into it. The 
book does not arouse because the author was 
not aroused when he wrote it. It is lifeless 
because of the writer's low state of vitality. 

The clergyman does not get hold of his 



8 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

people because he lacks stamina, force and 
physical vitality. He is a weakling men- 
tally because he is a weakling physically. 
The teacher does not arouse or inspire 
his pupil because he lacks life and enthu- 
siasm himself. His brain and nerves are 
fagged, his energy exhausted, burned out, his 
strength depleted, because he has not been 
good to himself. 

Everywhere we see these devitalized people, 
without spontaneity, buoyancy, or enthusiasm 
in their endeavor. They have no joy in their 
work. It is merely enforced drudgery, a 
dreary, monotonous routine. 

The great problem in manufacturing is to 
get the largest possible results with the least 
possible expenditure, the least wear and tear 
of machinery. Men study the economy in 
their business of getting the maximum re- 
turn with the minimum expenditure, and yet 
many of these men who are so shrewd and 
level-headed in their business pay very little 
attention to the economy of their personal 
power expenditure. 

Most of us are at war with ourselves, are 
our own worst enemies. We expect a great 
deal of ourselves, yet we do not put ourselves 
in a condition to achieve great things. We 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 9 

are either too indulgent to our bodies, or we 
are not indulgent enough. We pamper them, 
or we neglect them, and it would be hard to 
tell which mode of treatment produces the 
worst results. Few people treat their bodies 
with the same wise care and consideration 
that they bestow upon a valuable piece of 
machinery or property of any kind from 
which they expect large returns. 

Take the treatment of the digestive appara- 
tus, for instance, which really supplies the 
motor power for the whole body, and we will 
find that most of us do not give it half a 
•chance to do its work properly. The energy 
of the digestive organs of many people is ex- 
hausted in trying to take care of superfluous 
food for which there is absolutely no demand 
in the system. So much energy is used up 
trying to assimilate surplus, unnecessary food, 
improper food, that there is none left to as- 
similate and digest that which is actually 
needed. 

Men are constantly violating the laws of 
health, eating all sorts of incompatible, in- 
digestible foods, often when the stomach is 
exhausted and unable to take care of simple 
food. They fill it with a great variety of 
rich, indigestible stuffs, retard the digestive 



io BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

processes with harmful drinks, then wonder 
why they are unfit for work, and resort to all 
sorts of stimulants and drugs to overcome the 
bad effects of their greediness and foolish- 
ness. 

Many go to the other extreme and do not 
take enough food or get enough variety in 
what they do eat, so that some of their tis- 
sues are in a chronic condition of semi-star- 
vation. 

The result is that while there is a great 
overplus of certain elements in some parts of 
the system, there is a famine of different 
kinds of elements in other parts of the sys- 
tem. This inequality, disproportion, tends to 
unbalance and produce a lack of symmetry 
in the body, and induces abnormal appetites 
that often lead to drinking or other dissipa- 
tion. Many people resort to dangerous drugs 
in their effort to satisfy the craving of the 
starved cells in the various tissues when what 
they really need is nourishing food. 

There are only twelve different kinds of 
tissues in the body and their needs are very 
simple. For instance, almost every demand 
in the entire system can be satisfied by milk 
and eggs, though, of course, a more varied 
diet is desirable, and should always be ad- 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF n 

justed to suit one's vocation and activities. 
Yet, notwithstanding the simple demands of 
nature, how complicated our living has be- 
come! 

If we would only study the needs of our 
bodies as we study the needs of the plants 
in our gardens, and give them the proper 
amount and variety of food, with plenty of 
water, fresh air, and sunshine, we would not 
be troubled with disordered stomachs, indi- 
gestion, biliousness, headache, or any other 
kind of pain or ache. 

If we used common sense in our diet, lived 
a plain, sane, simple life, we would never need 
to take medicine. But the way many of us 
live is a crime against nature, against man- 
hood, against our possibilities. 

It is amazing that otherwise shrewd, sensi- 
ble men can deceive themselves into practicing 
petty economies wkieh are in reality ruinous 
extravagances. 

No good mechanic would for a moment 
think of using tools tkat are out of order. 
Think of a barber trying to run a first-class 
shop with dull razors! Think of a carpenter 
or cabinet-maker attempting to turn out fin- 
ished work with dull chisels, saws, planes, or 
other tools! 



12 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The man who wants to do a fine piece of 
work, whether it be the painting of a picture 
or the building of a house, must have every- 
thing with which he works in the best pos- 
sible condition, otherwise the quality of his 
work will suffer. 

The great thing in life is efficiency. If you 
amount to anything in the world, your time 
is valuable, your energy precious. They are 
your success capital and you can not afford 
to heedlessly throw them away or trifle with 
them. 

Whatever else you do, husband your 
strength, save your vitality, hang on to it 
with the determination with which a drown- 
ing man seizes and clings to a log or spar at 
sea. Store up every bit of your physical 
force, for it is your achievement material, 
your manhood timber. Having this, the man 
who has no money is rich compared with the 
man of wealth who has squandered his vital- 
ity, thrown away his precious life energy. 
Gold is but dross compared with this, dia- 
monds but rubbish ; houses and lands are con- 
temptible beside it. 

Dissipators of precious vitality are the 
wickedest kind of spendthrifts; they are 
worse than money spendthrifts ; they are sui- 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 13 

cides, for they are killing their every chance 
in life. 

Of what use is ability if you can not use it, 
of forces that are demoralized, weakened by 
petty, false economies; what use is great 
brain power, even genius, if you are phys- 
ically weak, if your vitality is so reduced 
either by vicious living or lack of proper care, 
that your energy becomes exhausted with the 
very least effort? 

To be confronted by a great opportunity 
of which you are powerless to take advantage, 
because you have let your energy leak away 
in useless, vicious ways, or to feel that you 
can only take hold of your great chance 
tremblingly, weakly, with doubt instead of as- 
surance and a consciousness of vigor, is one 
of the most disheartening experiences that 
can ever come to a human being. 

If you would make the most of yourself, 
cut away all of your vitality sappers, get rid 
of everything which hampers you and holds 
you back, everything which wastes your 
energy, cuts down your working capital. Get 
freedom at any cost. Do not drag about 
with you a body that is half dead through 
vicious habits, which sap your vitality and 
drain off your life forces. Do not do any- 



14 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

thing or touch anything which will lower your 
vitality or lessen your chances of advance- 
ment. Always ask yourself, " What is there 
in this thing I am going to do which will add 
to my life-work, increase my power, keep me 
in superb condition to do the best thing pos- 
sible to me ? " 

Much precious energy is wasted in fretting, 
worrying, grumbling, fault-finding, in the little 
frictions and annoyances that accomplish 
nothing, but merely make you irritable, crip- 
ple and exhaust you. Just look back over 
yesterday and see where your energy went 
to. See how much of it leaked away in 
trifles and in vicious practices. You may 
have lost more brain and nerve force in a 
burst of passion, a fit of hot temper, than in 
doing your normal work in an entire day. 

Some people are very careful to keep the 
pianos in their homes in tune, but they never 
trouble themselves about the human instru- 
ments which are out of tune most of the time. 
They try to play the great life symphonies on 
a living instrument that is jangled and out 
of tune, and then wonder why they produce 
discord instead of harmony. 

The great aim of your life should be to 
keep your powers up to the highest possible 



BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 15 

standard, to so conserve your energies, guard 
your health, that you can make every occa- 
sion a great occasion. 

The trouble with most of us is that we do 
not half appreciate the marvelousness of the 
human mechanism, nor the divinity of the 
man that dwells in it. 

" Man is an infinite little copy of God," 
says Victor Hugo. " That is glory enough 
for man. . . . Little as I am, I feel the God 
in me." 

Unfortunately most of us do not feel the 
God in us, we do not realize our powers and 
possibilities. We lose sight of our divinity. 
We live in our animal senses instead of rising 
into the Godlike faculties. We crawl when 
we might fly. 



IL ECONOMY THAT COSTS TOO 
MUCH 




II. ECONOMY THAT COSTS TOO 
MUCH 

PARIS bank clerk, who 
was carrying a bag of 
gold through the streets, 
dropped a ten-franc piece, 
which rolled from the side- 
walk. He set his bag down 
to look for the lost piece, and, While he was 
trying to extricate it from the gutter, some 
one stole his bag and ran away with it. 

I know a rich man who has become such 
a slave to the habit of economizing, formed 
when he was trying to get a start in the 
world, that he has not been able to break 
away from it, and he will very often lose a 
dollar's worth of valuable time trying to save 
a dime. 

He goes through his home and turns the 
gas down so low that it is almost impossible 
to get around without stumbling over chairs. 
Several members of his family have received 
injuries from running against half-open 
doors, or stumbling over furniture in the 
dark; and once, while I was present, a mem- 
ber of the family spilt a bottle of ink upon a 

19 



20 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

costly carpet in passing from one room to 
another in the darkness. 

This man, although now wealthy, tears off 
the unused half-sheets of letters, cuts out the 
backs of envelopes for scribbling paper, and 
is constantly spending time trying to save 
little things which are utterly out of pro- 
portion to the value to him of the time thus 
consumed. He carries the same spirit of nig- 
gardly economy into his business. He makes 
his employees save strings from bundles as 
a matter of principle, even if it takes twice 
as much time as the string is worth, and 
practices all sorts of trifling economies equally 
foolish. 

True economy is not stinginess or mean- 
ness. It often means very large outlay, for it 
always has the larger end in view. True 
economy means the wisest expenditure of 
what we have, everything considered, look- 
ing at it from the broadest standpoint. It 
is not a good thing to save a nickel at the 
expenditure of twenty-five cents' worth of 
time. 

Comparatively few people have a healthy 
view of what real saving, or economy, means. 
Many have been run over by street cars or 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 21 

other vehicles in New York while trying to 
recover a dropped package, a hat, an um- 
brella, or a cane. 

I know a young man who has lost many 
opportunities for advancement, and a large 
amount of business, by false economy in 
dress, and smallness regarding expenditures. 
He believes that a suit of clothes and a neck- 
tie should be worn until they are threadbare. 
He would never think of inviting a customer 
or a prospective customer to luncheon, or of 
offering to pay his car fare (if he happened 
to be traveling with him). He has such a 
reputation for being stingy, even to meanness, 
that people do not like to do business with 
him. False economy has cost this man very 
dear. 

Many people injure their health seriously 
by trying to save money. If you are ambi- 
tious to do your best work, beware of econo- 
mies that cost too much. 

No ambitious person can afford to feed his 
brain with poor diet or wrong fuel. To do so 
would be as foolhardy as for a great factory 
to burn shavings and refuse material because 
good coal was too expensive. Whatever you 
do, however poor youymay be, don't stint or 
try to economize in the food fuel, which is the 



22 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

very foundation and secret of your success in 
life. Economize in other things if you must, 
wear threadbare clothes if necessary, but never 
cheat your body or brain by the quality and 
quantity of your food. Poor, cheap food 
which produces low vitality and inferior brain 
force is the worst kind of economy. 

There are lots of ambitious people with 
mistaken ideas of economy who rarely ever 
get the kind and quality of food which is 
capable of making the best blood and the 
best brain. Who that is anxious to make the 
most of his life can afford to stint and starve 
upon foods that are incapable of making him 
do the best thing possible to him? 

The ambitious farmer selects the finest ears 
of corn and the finest grain, fruits, and vege- 
tables for seed. He can not afford to cum- 
ber his precious soil with bad seed. Can the 
man who is ambitious to make the most of 
himself afford to eat cheap, stale foods, which 
have lost their great energizing principle? 

Everywhere we see business men patroniz- 
ing cheap restaurants, eating indigestible 
food, drinking cheap, diluted or " doctored " 
milk, saving a little money, but taking a great 
deal out of themselves. 

The most precious investment a man can 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 23 

make is to be just as good to himself as he 
possibly can, and never, under any circum- 
stances, pinch or economize in things which 
can help him to do the greatest thing possible 
to him. There is no doubt that the efficiency 
of numerous people is kept down many per 
cent, by improper diet, inferior foods. Many 
a man who thinks he is economizing because 
he spends only fifteen or twenty cents for 
his lunch may lose dollars in possible effi- 
ciency because of this short-sighted economy. 

You should take as little as possible out 
of yourself during your work or recreation. 
This does not mean that you should not en- 
ter whole-heartedly, fling yourself with great 
zest into your work and play, but that you 
should not needlessly waste your vitality. 
When you are traveling long distances and 
can possibly afford it, take a chair car, a 
sleeper, and take your meals regularly, and 
thus save time and energy, and conserve your 
health. 

Look at the people of means who are too 
stingy to take a chair or berth in a Pullman 
car, or to eat their meals in a dining car when 
they travel. They take many times more 
out of themselves by their cheap economy 
than the little money they save is worth. 



24 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Their ideas are mean and stingy, their efforts 
lifeless and lacking in enthusiasm, buoyancy, 
because they have sacrificed their physical 
selves, have not taken food that can produce 
ideas, brain force. 

Being good to themselves would have made 
all the difference between discomfort and ir- 
regularity and comfort and well-being, and 
the money spent would have brought them 
double returns, for when they got to their 
destination, instead of being jaded, depleted 
of their vitality, they would have been fresh, 
vigorous, and in condition to do effective 
work, or to enjoy themselves. 

I used to travel with a business man who 
was much better off financially than I was, 
yet he would never take a sleeper at night, 
nor go into a dining car for his meals; 
but he would take his luncheon with him, or 
live on sandwiches or what he could pick up 
at lunch counters on the route. The result 
was that, when he arrived in far Western 
cities, he would be so used up and tired, and 
his stomach so out of order from irregular 
eating, that it would take him several days 
to get straightened out, and he lost a great 
deal of valuable time. 

No man can afford to transact important 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 25 

business when he is not in prime condition, 
and it pays one in health and in comfort, as 
well as financially, to be very good to oneself, 
especially when health and a clear brain are 
our best capital. 

Power is the goal of the highest ambition. 
Anything which will add to one's personal 
force, which will increase his vigor, brain 
power, is worth its price, no matter how 
much it costs. 

Spend generously for anything which will 
raise your achievement power, which will 
make you a broader, abler man or woman. 

Multitudes of people are handicapped for 
years because of constant nervous headaches, 
which are simply due to eye-strain. They 
oftentimes have some slight defect in the lens 
of the eye which causes a great deal of suf- 
fering, and which can be corrected and en- 
tirely removed by glasses, but because of mis- 
taken ideas of economy they delay getting 
them. 

I know a business man who lost a consider- 
able amount of time periodically through neg- 
lect of his feet. Every step he took pained 
him, yet he could not bear the idea of paying 
money to a chiropodist and submitting to a 
simple operation, which finally, after years of 



26 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

suffering, was performed and gave him im- 
mediate relief. 

Many people delay some needed trivial sur- 
gical or dental operation for months or even 
years, simply because they dread the expense, 
thus not only suffering a great deal of un- 
necessary pain all this time, but also incapaci- 
tating themselves from giving the best thing 
in them to their vocations. 

The great thing is to make it a life prin- 
ciple never to delay the remedy of anything 
which is retarding our progress, keeping us 
down. We little realize what a fearful 
amount of energy and precious vitality is 
wasted in most lives through false ideas of 
economy. 

Some people will waste a dollar's worth of 
valuable time, and suffer much discomfort, in 
visiting numerous stores looking for bargains 
and trying to save a few cents on some small 
purchase they wish to make. They will buy 
wearing apparel of inferior material because 
the price is low, although they know the arti- 
cles will not wear well. 

Bargain hunters are oft?en victims of false 
economy. They buy, because they are cheap, 
a great many things they do not actually 
need. Then they will tell you how much they 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 27 

have saved. If they would reckon up what 
they have expended in a year, they would 
generally find that they have spent more than 
if they had only bought what they actually 
wanted, when they needed it, and had paid 
the regular price for it. 

Many people have a mania for attending 
auctions and buying all sorte of truck which 
does not match anything else they have. The 
result is that their homes are veritable night- 
mares as to taste and fitness of things. Then, 
they never get the first, best wear of any- 
thing. These second-hand things are often 
just on the point of giving out, and constantly 
need repairing. Beds break down, legs come 
off bureaus, castors are always coming out, 
and something is going to pieces all the time. 
This foolish buying is the worst kind of ex- 
travagance. Quality, durability should be 
the first considerations in buying anything for 
constant use. Yet many people keep them- 
selves poor by buying cheap articles which do 
not last. 

" Thair iz sertin kinds of ekonomy that 
don't pa," says Josh Billings, " and one of 
them iz that thair iz a grate mennt pepul in 
the world who try to ekonomize by stratenin' 
pins." 

I have seen a lady spoil a pair of fine gloves 



£8 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

trying to rescue a nickel which had fallen 
into the mud. 

There are plenty of women who would not 
think of throwing away a nickel but who 
would not hesitate to throw fifty cents' worth 
of good food into the garbage pail. It is a 
strange fact that people who are close and 
stingy with their money are often extremely 
liberal with what the money will buy, espe- 
cially when put into foodstuffs. In their es- 
timation, most of the value seems to evaporate 
in the cooking. 

One should live between extravagance and 
meanness. Don't save money by starving 
your mind. It is false economy never to 
take a holiday, or never to spend money for 
an evening's amusement 0$ for a useful book. 

P. T. Barnum once said : " Economy is not 
meanness. True economy consists in always 
making the income exceed the outgo." 

Most people fail to do their greatest work 
because they do not put the emphasis on the 
right thing. They do not always keep the 
goal, their larger possibility in view. They 
handicap their prospects and kill their greater 
opportunities by keeping their eyes fixed on 
petty economies. 

Many men become slaves to the habit of 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 29 

economizing, and, without realizing it, con- 
stantly strangle their business. 

There is no greater delusion than that 
cheapness is economy. I have watched for 
some time a New York skyscraper erected 
years ago under contract. The owners dick- 
ered with a great many builders, finally letting 
the contract to the one who bid the lowest. 
The original estimate, made by a reliable 
builder, for a thoroughly substantial, first- 
class building, was cut down over a hun- 
dred thousand dollars by this cheap concern. 
The result is that, in their grasping greed to 
save, the owners overreached themselves, and 
the building has been a source of anxiety to 
them ever since its erection. Everything 
about it is cheap, shoddy, or rickety. There 
is scarcely a day that something is not out 
of order somewhere. The walls crack, the 
floors settle, the doors warp, and the win- 
dows stick. There is constant trouble with 
the cheap elevators, and with the steam and 
electric fittings, and the boilers and all the 
machinery are frequently out of order. 
In the winter the building is cold, the pipes 
leak because of cheap plumbing, and the fup 
nishings are constantly being damaged. Ar 



30 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

a consequence the occupants get disgusted 
and move out. Although the building is in a 
locality where rents are high, it is impossible 
to keep reliable tenants very long, because 
they become so exasperated. It attracts a 
class of people just like itself — cheap, shoddy, 
unreliable — and the loss in the rents and in 
constant repairs, in the rapid deterioration, 
to say nothing of the wear and tear on the 
nervous system of the owners, will be greater 
than the amount saved by the cheap contract. 

No greater delusion ever entered a busi- 
ness man's head than that cheap labor is 
economy. Trying to cut the pay-roll down 
to the lowest possible dollar has ruined many 
a concern. Business men who have been 
most successful have found that the best 
workmen, like the best materials, are the 
cheapest in the end. The breakage, the 
damage, the losses, the expensive blunders, 
the injury to merchandise, the loss of cus- 
tomers resulting from cheap labor are not 
compensated for by low wages. 

Any one who tries to get superior results 
from inferior methods, from cheapness in 
quality of material or service deludes him- 
self. Cheap labor means cheap product and 
cheapened reputation. It means inferiority 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 31 

all along the line. The institution run by 
cheap help is cheapened, and means a cheaper 
patronage. 

Many a hotel has gone down because the 
proprietor tried to save a few thousand dol- 
lars a year by hiring cheap clerks, cooks, and 
waiters, and by buying cheap food. Just 
that little difference between the cheap and 
the best help and the cheap and the best food 
has made the fortune of many a shrewd 
hotel-keeper. 

Some people never get out of the world 
of pennies into the world of dollars. They 
work so hard to save the cents that they lose 
the dollars and the larger growth — the richer 
experience and the better opportunity. 

•Everywhere we see people wearing seedy, 
shabby clothes, stopping at cheap, noisy 
hotels or boarding houses, sleeping on un- 
comfortable beds, riding for days in cramped 
positions in day coaches in order to save the 
price of a parlor-car chair or a Pullman seat, 
sitting up all night to save the expense of a 
sleeper — practicing all sorts of economies 
which cost too much for those who can pos- 
sibly afford better. 

If a man is going to do his best work, he 



32 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

must keep up his mental and physical stand- 
ards. He must keep a clear brain and level 
head, and be able to think vigorously. He 
can not think effectively without pure blood, 
and that requires good food, refreshing 
sleep, and cheerful recreation. 

The men who accomplish the most, who do 
a prodigious amount of work, and who are 
able to stand great strains, are very good to 
themselves. They have the best they can 
get. They patronize the best hotels ; they eat 
the most nourishing food they can get. They 
give themselves all the comforts possible, 
especially in traveling, and the result is that 
they are always in much better condition to 
do business. It is pretty poor economy that 
will lessen one's vitality and strength and 
lower the standard of his possible efficiency 
for the sake of saving a few pennies and 
putting a little money in his pocket-book. 

Of course, we realize that those who 
haven't the money can not always do that 
which will contribute to their highest com- 
fort and efficiency; but most people over- 
estimate the value of a dollar in comparison 
with their physical well-being. Power is the 
goal of the highest ambition. Anything 
which will add to one's power, therefore, no 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 33 

matter how much it costs, if it is within 
possible reach, is worth its price. 

Generous expenditure in the thing which 
helps us along the line of our ambition, which 
will make a good impression, secure us quick 
recognition, and help our promotion, is often 
an infinitely better investment than putting 
money in the savings bank. 

Those who are trying to get a start in 
life must emphasize the right thing, keeping 
the larger possibility in view instead of handi- 
capping their prospects, killing their oppor- 
tunities by keeping their eyes fixed on petty 
economies. 

Great emphasis is to-day placed on appear- 
ances. Success is not wholly a question of 
merit. Appearances have a great deal to 
do with one's prospects and chances, especi- 
ally in a large city, where it is so difficult 
to get acquainted. In a small town, where 
everybody will soon know you and can 
quickly judge of your ability and real worth, 
it is very different, although even there ap- 
pearances count for a great deal. 

There are thousands of young men in our 
large cities struggling along in mediocrity, 
many of them in poverty, who might be in 
good circumstances had they placed the right 



34 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

emphasis upon the value of good clothes and 
a decent living-place, where they would be 
associated with a good class of people. 

If you want to get on, get in with the 
people in your line of business, or in your 
profession. Try to make yourself popular 
with them. If a business man, associate with 
the best men in your business; if a lawyer 
keep in with lawyers. Join the lawyers' clubs 
or associations. The very reputation of 
standing well in your own craft or profession 
will be of great value to you. 

Of course, it will not cost you quite as 
much to hold yourself aloof from those in 
the same specialty; but you can not afford 
the greater loss that will result from your 
aloofness. The young man who wants to get 
on must remember that little things have 
quite as much to do with his achievement as 
great things. 

No one can make the most of himself who 
does not consider his personal needs. When 
we are best to ourselves, we radiate a 
healthy mental attitude of optimism, joy, 
gladness, and hope. It is a great thing to be 
a good animal, to maintain mental poise ; then 
we radiate exuberance of life, enthusiasm, 
buoyancy. 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 35 

Did you ever realize what splendid capital 
there is in good health, a strong, vigorous 
constitution, which is able to stand any 
amount of hard work, hard knocks? Did 
you ever think that the very physical ability 
to stand a long, persistent strain, great physi- 
cal reserve, has carried many men through 
hard times and discordant conditions, under 
which weaker men would have gone down 
completely? 

He who would get the most out of life 
must be good to himself. Everywhere we 
see people who have been trying to pinch and 
save, paying for it in premonitory indications 
of discomfort. Does this pay? Does it pay 
to take so much out of oneself for the sake 
of putting a little more in the bank; to rob 
one's life in order to add a little more to one's 
savings? We must look at life from a higher 
plane, a longer range, and ask ourselves at 
the very outset, " What must I do, how con- 
duct myself, how treat myself in order to 
make the largest success, the completest life 
possible ? " 

Do not take a little, narrow, pinched, 
cheese-paring view of life. It is unworthy 
of you, and belittling to your possibilities. 



36 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

It is insulting to your Creator, who made you 
for something large and grand. 

Everywhere we see people with little 
starved experiences, because they are too 
small to spend money to enlarge themselves 
by seeing the world and getting a broader 
education and larger outlook. They have a 
little money in the bank, but their mental 
capital is very weak, so that others who took 
a larger view of life have completely over- 
topped them in their fuller manhood and 
in greater wealth, too. 

Nobody admires a narrow-souled, dried-up 
man who will not invest in books or travel, 
who will invest in the grosser material prop- 
erty but not in himself, and whose highest 
ambition is to save so many dollars. 

You can always pick out the man who is 
so overanxious about small savings that he 
loses the larger gain. He radiates smallness, 
meanness, limitation. His thoughts are 
pinched, his ideas narrow. He is the small- 
calibered man who lacks that generosity and 
breadth which marks the liberal broad-gauged 
man. 

Many men of this type remain at the head 
of a little two-penny business all their lives 
because they have never learned the efTec- 



ECONOMY THAT COSTS 37 

tiveness of liberality in business. They do 
not know that a liberal sowing means a 
liberal harvest. They know nothing of the 
secret of the larger success of modern busi- 
ness methods. 

There is a vast difference between the 
economy which administers wisely and that 
niggardly economy which saves for the sake 
of saving and spends a dime's worth of time 
to save a penny. 

I have never known a man who over- 
estimated the importance of saving pennies 
to do things which belong to large minds. 

Cheese-paring methods belong to the past. 
Skimping economies, and penuriousness do 
not pay. The great things to-day are done 
on broad lines. It is the liberal-minded man, 
with a level head and a sound judgment, the 
man who can see things in their large rela- 
tions, that succeeds. Large things to-day 
must be done in a large way. The liberal 
policy wins. Economy, in its broadest sense, 
involves the highest kind of judgment and 
level-headedness and breadth of vision. The 
wisest economy often requires very lavish ex- 
penditure, because there may be thousands 
of dollars depending upon the spending of 
hundreds. It often means a very broad and 



38 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

generous administration and liberal spend- 
ing. 

Some of the best business men I know are 
generous almost to extravagance with their 
customers, or in their dealings with men. 
They think nothing of spending a thousand 
dollars if they can see two thousand or five 
thousand coming back from it. But the 
petty economizers are too narrow in their 
views, too limited in their outlook, too nig- 
gardly in their expenditures ever to measure 
up to large things. They hold the penny 
so close to their eyes that it shuts out the 
dollar. It is bad economy for the farmer 
to skimp on seed corn. " He that soweth 
sparingly shall also reap sparingly." 



III. WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY 
GO? 




III. WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY 
GO? 

;INETY-NINE per cent, of 
the sun-power or energy 
stored up in a ton of coal 
is lost on its way to the 
electric-light bulb. Thus we 
get only a hundredth part 
of the possible light contained in a ton of 
coal. The other ninety-nine parts are dis- 
sipated in heat, and used up in friction in 
the engine or the electric apparatus, and 
never become light. To discover some way 
to prevent this fearful waste of energy is 
one of the great problems confronting sci- 
entists to-day. 

Just as fearful a waste of energy goes on 
in man's use of his own powers. Instead of 
one hundred per cent, of his energy appear- 
ing in results that are worth while, often not 
more than one per cent, of it gets into his 
real work, the rest being thrown away, dis- 
sipated in scores of ways. 

A young man starts out in life with a large 
amount of force and vitality stored up in 
his brain, nerves, and muscles. He feels an 
41 



42 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

almost limitless supply of energy welling up 
within him, a fulness and buoyancy which 
know no repression. He believes he will do 
wonders with this energy, and that he will 
transmute practically all of it into light, — 
achievement. In the pride of his youth and 
strength, he seems to think that there is prac- 
tically no end to his power to throw off 
energy, and so he often flings it out on every 
side with reckless prodigality. He burns it 
up here in a cigarette or a pipe, there in 
whisky or wine; here he drains it off in 
heavy suppers and late hours, there in vicious 
living, idleness, shiftlessness, and botched 
work, until he finally comes to himself with a 
shock and asks, " Where is the electric light 
I meant to produce with all my energy? Is 
this flickering candle flame all that I can 
generate ? " He is appalled to find that, with 
all his superabundant vitality, he has scarcely 
produced light enough to illumine his ewn 
way, and has nothing left for the world. 
He who had boasted of his strength and felt 
confident of shedding a light that would 
dazzle the world stumbles along himself in 
semi-darkness. The energy which should 
have been transmuted into achievement has 
been lost on the way. 



WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 43 

It is not the vitality we utilize that dwarfs 
achievement and whittles away and shortens 
life: it is what we foolishly throw away. 
Millions of people have made miserable fail- 
ures in life by letting this precious energy, 
which might have made them successful, slip 
away from them in foolish living and silly 
dissipation. 

It is considered a terrible thing for a youth 
to spend a thousand dollars of his father's 
money in a single night's dissipation; but 
what about the strain upon his vitality, the 
life forces which he throws away, or the 
wasted energy which might have been put 
into physical and mental achievement? What 
is the loss of money compared with the de- 
moralization wrought by such a debauch? 
What are a thousand dollars in comparison 
with even a small fraction of precious life- 
power? Money lost may be regained, but 
vitality lost in dissipation not only can not be 
regained, but it is also a thousand times 
worse than lost, because it has demoralized 
all that is left, deteriorated the character, 
and undermined the very foundation of all 
that is best in life. 

But it is not always what is classed as 
" wicked dissipation " that robs us of energy. 



44 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

There is a wanton waste of vitality in vari- 
ous forms going on all about us, which might 
be converted into something that would count 
in life. Some time ago there was a six days' 
bicycle race in Madison Square Garden, New 
York City, in which the contestants drained 
off more vitality than would have accom- 
plished years of ordinary work. It was 
really pitiable to watch the exhausted victims, 
who were determined not to give up though 
they should die in the struggle. The drawn 
lines about the mouth and eyes, and the hag- 
gard expression of those men in the last 
hours of their desperate ride, haunted every- 
body who saw them. Many of those natu- 
rally strong, rugged fellows had to be lifted 
from their wheels, while some of them fell 
prone upon the floor in their utter physical 
exhaustion and mental stupor. Others com- 
pletely lost consciousness, owing to brain 
poisoning caused by the accumulation of 
worn-out muscle and nerve tissue in the 
blood. 

Thus do we turn even our most healthful, 
recreative exercises and sports into fatal 
energy-wasters, degrading them into exhibi- 
tions of mere brutality, in which men lose 



.WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 45 

manhood and strength instead of gaining 
them. 



A foreigner traveling in this country says, 
" Americans waste as much energy as most 
other nations utilize." It is true that there 
is a woful lack of serenity, of poise, and of 
balance among us. We are always on the 
move, — always twitching somewhere. 

A noted physician says that most people 
expend ten times the energy really necessary 
in almost everything they do. Many grasp 
a pen as if it were a crowbar, keep the mus- 
cles of the arm tense when they write, and 
pour out as much vital force in signing their 
names as an athlete would in throwing a 
heavy weight a great distance. Not one 
person in a hundred, he says, knows how to 
make proper use of his muscles or to relax 
perfectly when at rest. Yet it is chiefly 
through repose, or perfect rest, that we are 
enabled to store up energy, to stop the leaks, 
and to cut off all wastes. 

A normal person, who has stopped all these 
energy leaks is not nervous or restless. He 
has control of his muscles, and is ever master 
of himself, self-centered, and poised. He 



46 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

gives you the impression of a mighty reserve 
power, because he has not wasted his energy. 
He' can sit or stand still, looking you squarely 
in the eye without flinching, because there is 
power back of the eye. He is always bal- 
anced, never flies off his center, and does not 
need artificial stimulants or bracers. 

It is no wonder that so many of our nerv- 
ous and over-active business men begin so 
early to die at the top; that they feel ex- 
hausted in the morning; that they are fagged 
and tired out most of the time; and that 
they resort to stimulants or smoking to keep 
up the intense, unnatural strain, and to give 
them artificial energy as a substitute for the 
real energy which is constantly leaking away 
in a score of ways. 

The tired brains and fagged nerves of the 
spendthrifts of energy are responsible for a 
large proportion of the abnormal thinking, 
the wretched mistakes in business, the fatal 
blunders which cost human lives on land and 
sea, the suicides, the insanity, and the crime 
of the world. When the brain cells and 
nerve cells are well supplied with reserve 
force, a man is normal, strong, and vigorous. 
He is not haunted by all sorts of unhealthy 
appetites, or by a desire to do abnormal 



WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 47 

things, or live an unnatural life of excite- 
ment and self-indulgence. 

Just look back over the day and see where 
your energy has gone. See how much of it 
has leaked away from you in trifles. Per- 
haps you have wasted it in fits of fretting, 
fuming, grumbling, fault-finding, or in the 
little frictions that have accomplished noth- 
ing, but merely rasped your nerves, made you 
irritable, crippled you, and left you exhausted. 
You may have drained off more nerve and 
brain force in a burst of bad temper than 
you have expended in doing your real work. 
Perhaps you did not realize that, in going 
through your place of business like a mad bull 
through a china shop, you pulled out every 
spigot and turned on every faucet of your 
mental and physical reservoir, and left them 
open until all the energy you had stored up 
during the night had run off. Look back 
and see whether your scolding, fault-finding, 
criticising, nagging, and what you call " read- 
ing the riot act " to your employees, has 
helped you in any way or accomplished any- 
thing. No; you only lost your energy and 
self-control, your self-respect, and the re- 
spect and admiration of your employees. 



48 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Some women are always exhausted be- 
cause they spend their vitality on trifles, frit- 
tering away energy in a score of ways with- 
out any results. When evening comes, they 
are unable to sit up. They do not know how 
to shut off the leaks, how to turn off the 
faucets of nerve force and energy, and night 
finds them like a city with every reservoir 
and water main empty, an easy prey to every 
draught of air or inciting cause of illness or 
ill-temper. 

How pitiable it is to see such women 
shriveled and shrunken before they reach 
thirty-five, and looking old at forty, not be- 
cause of their hard work or trials, but be- 
cause of useless fretting and anxiety that 
have only brought discord into the home, and 
premature age to themselves. 

Much of the worst kind of energy-dissipa- 
tion is not what is commonly called " im- 
moral." It is often the result of ignorance, 
carelessness, or neglect; but it is dissipation, 
all the same. A great deal of energy is 
wasted in working without system, and in 
not getting hold of the right end of a thing 
at the start. Many of us so completely ex- 
haust our strength in useless worry and 
anxiety, in anticipating our tasks and in 



WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 49 

doing our work over and over again mentally 
before we begin, that we have no force left 
for the actual work when we come to it. 
We are like a fire engine letting off all its 
steam on its way to a fire, and arriving with 
no power left to throw water on the flames. 

Some of us waste our energies and make 
our lives ineffective by trying to do too many 
things. Ability to do one thing superbly 
almost precludes the possibility of doing other 
things in a way to attract attention. If we 
focus powerfully upon one thing, energy is 
withdrawn from everything else. The mind 
is like a searchlight, — everything is in semi- 
darkness except the object upon which the 
light is thrown at the moment. It can not 
illumine a very large area at one time. We 
can not concentrate powerfully enough upon 
more than one thing to reach excellence. 

People who are constantly making resolu- 
tions with great vigor and determination, but 
who never put them into execution, do not 
realize how much precious force they waste 
in dreaming and wishing. They live in 
dreamland while they work in mediocrity. 
Their heads are in the clouds while their feet 
are on the earth. If these people would only 



50 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

spend the energy thus wasted in actually 
doing something, they would get somewhere. 

Get rid of all vitality-sappers. If you have 
taken an unfortunate step, retrace it if you 
can; remedy it as far as it is in your power 
to do so ; but, when you have done your best, 
let the thing drop forever. Do not drag its 
skeleton along with you. Never allow what 
is dead, and should be buried, to keep bobbing 
up and draining off your life-capital in worry 
or vain regrets. Do not do anything or touch 
anything which will lower your vitality. 
Always ask yourself, " What is there in this 
thing I am going to do which will add to my 
life-work, which will increase my power, keep 
me in a more superb condition, and make me 
more efficient in the service of humanity? " 
If you would make your mark in the world, 
and do your part in advancing civilization, 
you must cut off everything which is an 
energy-waster or success-killer. 

Everywhere we see young men and young 
women with great possibilities, crippled in 
their life-work because they have not vitality 
and energy enough to push their way and 
overcome the obstacles in the path to their 
goal. It is pitiable to see many of them at 
work, yawning and stretching all day, sleepy, 



WHERE DOES YOUR ENERGY GO? 51 

" dopey/' and unenthusiastic, with nothing 
fresh or spontaneous about them. They have 
let their energy escape in a hundred foolish 
ways, and have none left to put into their 
work. 

An author's book does not take hold of the 
reader because the writer has no vigor to 
put into it. It is commonplace and wishy- 
washy; it does not arouse interest, because 
the author was not aroused when he wrote it. 
A low state of vitality accounts for the life- 
less work in every line of his endeavor. Many 
a clergyman does not get hold of people, and 
can not fill his church, because he has no 
reserve of energy. He lacks stamina and 
physical vitality. He is a weakling mentally 
because he is a weakling physically. 

Many a teacher can not arouse the en- 
thusiasm of his pupils, because he has no 
enthusiasm himself. His brain and nerves 
are fagged ; his energy reservoir is exhausted ; 
there is no spontaneity in his work; it is 
enforced drudgery. Many artists, mechanics, 
and laborers — workers in all ranks, — bring 
but one per cent, of their energy to their 
work. The rest is gone in the smoke, heat, 
and friction of life. 

What are you doing with your energy? 



52 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Are you using it to produce light, or are you 
losing it in useless ways? Be honest with 
yourself and find out where it is going. You 
may b^ very honest in your dealings with 
others, but very dishonest in your dealings 
with yourself. You may be ignorantly or 
carelessly squandering your life-power. 

The best tonic in the world is the exhilara- 
tion which comes from the consciousness of 
personal power, of being masterful in what 
we undertake, of being able to grapple vigor- 
ously with the great life-problems and to seize 
with the grip of a master precious oppor- 
tunities when they come ; to feel equal to any 
emergency, however great, and to be larger 
than any demand upon us. Whoever pos- 
sesses this tonic will be sure to transmute 
into achievement not one per cent, merely? 
but one hundred per cent., of his energy. 



IV. THE STRAIN TO KEEP UP AP- 
PEARANCES 




IV. THE STRAIN TO KEEP UP AP- 
PEARANCES 

ISCLOSURES in a recent 
divorce suit in New York 
again call attention to the 
insane rivalry among wealthy 
Americans to outdo one an- 
other in dress and luxurious 
living. The wife who was suing, in this in- 
stance, maintained that a woman in her posi- 
tion required from thirty-five to forty thousand 
dollars a year for dress alone; and that this 
was a comparatively small item in the cost 
of maintaining her household. She stated, 
on the witness stand, that no society woman 
could afford to appear twice in the same 
dress in public or at the same hotel; that if 
she did, she would be " in very bad form." 
She also stated that it was necessary to 
change her clothing, completely, three times 
a day, and that many women change, through- 
out, four times a day. 

Another New York woman says that she 
spends from one hundred to one hundred and 
fifty thousand dollars a year on her ward- 
robe; that she has many dresses that cost a 

55 



$6 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

thousand dollars each, and that her shoes, the 
leather for which is imported and dyed to 
match the dresses with which they are worn, 
cost fifty dollars a pair. 

Some of these society women exhaust so 
much of their time and energy in catering to 
their vanity that they have comparatively little 
left for the things really worth while. Mrs. 
Grundy has more abject slaves in America 
than in any other country on the globe. Mul- 
titudes of devotees neglect their Children, 
their homes, and their mental improvement, 
and resort to all sorts of expedients and ex- 
travagances to cater to their vanity. 

It is not so much the purpose of the author 
to condemn the rich for their wicked ex- 
travagance, as to point out the demoralizing 
influence of their vicious example upon those 
who can not afford either luxurious dress or 
living. Not only much of the discontent 
and unhappiness, but also a large part of 
the immorality and crime in this country, is 
due to the influence of the ostentatious flaunt- 
ing of wealth in the faces of those who are 
less favored. It is a powerful undermining 
force in our civilization. 

The mere possession of money does not 
give one the right to debauch his fellows, or 



TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 57 

to set an example which will make them dis- 
contented, unhappy, and tempt them to strain 
to keep up an appearance of wealth, at the 
possible sacrifice of their integrity and virtue. 

Some of these wealthy people attempt to 
justify their extravagance on the ground that 
it gives employment to a great many. No 
greater delusion ever crept into a human 
brain than that wanton extravagance is justi- 
fied on the ground that it gives employment, 
for the demoralizing and debauching influ- 
ence of it all, upon those uselessly employed, 
infinitely outweighs any possible good it may 
accomplish. 

It is true that many poor women, girls, and 
children are enabled to eke out a miserable 
existence by spending years of precious time 
and energy working upon a piece of lace, 
embroidery, or a thousand-dollar gown to 
be worn only once or twice by a rich woman. 
But is there no better destiny for human 
beings made in God's image than to wear 
their lives out and ruin their eyesight, as is 
done in numerous instances, in making that 
which appeals only to the vanity of women, 
many of whom, in all their lives, never earned 
the equivalent to the food which they con- 
sume in a single month? 



58 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The vulgar flaunting of wealth, which we 
see on every hand, is a constant suggestion, 
a perpetual temptation, to the poorer classes 
to strain every nerve to keep up appearances, 
" to keep up with the procession " at all 
hazards. 

Women who pay from five hundred to a 
thousand dollars for a dress, and fifty dollars 
for a pair of shoes, do not realize that a 
multitude of young girls, some of whom 
work for two years for what one of these 
gowns cost, and some for only a few dollars 
a week, are influenced to do all sorts of 
questionable things in order to ape the style 
of their rich sisters. 

There are young women in New York, re- 
ceiving comparatively small salaries, who live 
in high-class apartments, wear expensive 
tailored gowns, extravagant millinery, and 
indulge in other luxuries which are out of 
all keeping with their rank and means. Many 
of them have accounts at livery stables, 
florists, and dry-goods stores; they even buy 
jewelry and many unnecessary things on 
credit. Some of them think nothing of fre- 
quenting pawn-shops and borrowing money 
on furs, clothing, anything which they do not 
happen to want for the moment. 

Driven to extremes, they often grow so 



TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 59 

bold in their borrowing that they will " work " 
their friends, as they put it, without blushing. 
They brag of how much they can make a 
man spend on them when out for amusement. 

Recently a young man on a small salary 
told me that it cost him from fifteen to 
twenty dollars an evening to take a girl to 
a theater, and to supper at an expensive res- 
taurant afterwards. Is it any wonder that so 
many young men in moderate circumstances 
remain single, and that vicious results follow 
such abnormal living? 

One of the curses of city life is the unwill- 
ingness of young men to marry and assume 
the responsibility or obligations of a family. 
The consequent absence of the refining, ele- 
vating influence of home and family upon the 
character of both men and women is most 
disastrous. They live unnatural and un- 
healthful lives and often become abnormally 
selfish because they are completely absorbed 
in getting the most they can for themselves, 
and consequently think very little about 
others. 

The false ideas, expensive habits, and pas- 
sion for show of many women are, in a great 
measure, responsible for this deplorable con- 
dition of things. 

A New York young man, typical of a large 



60 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

class, told me, recently, that he had no idea 
of marrying, because, by remaining single, 
he could live at the best hotels — " live like a 
prince," as he expressed it — that he could 
patronize good tailors and could take an oc- 
casional trip abroad, whereas if he married 
and had to divide his income with a family, 
he would be obliged to live in a poorer part 
of the city, in much cheaper quarters, and 
could not begin to keep up the appearance 
and make the display which he can now 
afford. He said that girls expect so much 
to-day that young men require a lot of cour- 
age to assume the responsibility of marriage. 

Many girls seem to think that their chances 
of marrying men who can support them in 
luxury are much enhanced by extravagant 
dressing. This is a delusion. Girls who dress 
beyond their means, as a rule fail to attract, 
permanently, the wealthy men whom they 
would like to marry, and often frighten away 
the young men of small means who would 
be drawn to them by their good qualities of 
mind and heart, which their foolish clothing 
and hollow pretense serve only to conceal. 

Young men who are determined to make 
something of themselves will think a great 
many times before they marry a young 



TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 61 

woman with extravagant notions, for they 
know that once a woman has contracted a 
taste for luxuries and formed the habit of 
living beyond her income, she is rarely con- 
tent with what a man in moderate circum- 
stances can afford to give her. 

It is the young woman who steels herself 
against the temptations of vanity and is con- 
tent to dress as attractively as she can 
honestly afford, instead of running into debt 
and resorting to all sorts of things to procure 
what she can not afford, who scouts the idea 
of bedecking herself with cheap imitations, 
refuses to wear lies or act them — she is the- 
sort of girl a manly young fellow will want 
to marry, or who will make a successful 
career for herself. 

The examples of vicious living and reck- 
less extravagance of the very rich are no less 
demoralizing to young men than to young 
women. It used to be considered a disgrace 
for young men to be in debt unless they were 
in business for themselves, or there was some 
other justification for it; but now it is the 
commonest thing to see young men with small 
salaries heavily in debt — for luxuries. 

Never, in the history of mankind, was 
there such a perfect mania among certain 



62 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

classes to keep up appearances at all hazards, 
to make a big show in the world, as exists 
in America to-day. Everywhere we see peo- 
ple toiling to keep in the social swim, strug- 
gling to break into the stratum above them, 
straining every nerve to do things they can 
not afford, simply because others do them. 

In Europe it is possible to classify people 
largely by their dress and appearance. They 
do not pretend to be what they are not, so 
much as in America ; but here, where shop- 
girls dress like millionaires' daughters, and 
thousands of clerks dress better than their 
employers, where so many are trying to ap- 
pear to be better off than they are, to make 
others think they amount to a little more 
than they do, it is impossible to judge cor- 
rectly by appearances. 

Not long ago a New York man who had 
passed as a multi-millionaire, and whose 
family lived in the most extravagant manner, 
died, and when his will was probated, it was 
found that his entire estate scarcely inven- 
toried two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. 

The fortunes of a great many people who 
are supposed to be enormously rich are 
bubbles just as empty as that of this man. 
There are people passing themselves off as 



TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 63 

millionaires who may be, In reality, worth 
less than nothing — hopelessly in debt. But, 
because they are believed to be wealthy, they 
have almost unlimited credit; everybody is 
anxious to sell to them; tradespeople do not 
like to ask them for money for fear of losing 
their patronage. 

There are plenty of people, in all of our 
large cities, who do not allow themselves 
enough to eat, and practice all sorts of pinch- 
ing economy at home, for the sake of keep- 
ing up appearances in society. 

What terrible inconvenience, hardship, and 
suffering we endure on account of other peo- 
ple's eyes and opinions! What slaves, what 
fools we make of ourselves because of what 
other people think! How we scheme and 
contrive to make them think we are other 
than we really are! 

It is other people's eyes that are expensive. 
It is other people's eyes that make us un- 
happy and discontented with our lot, that 
make us strain, and struggle, and slave, in 
order to keep up false appearances. 

The suit, the hat must be discarded, not 
because they are badly worn, but because 
others will think it strange that we do not 
change them. 



64 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The effect of all this false living, this con- 
stant practice of deception in appearances, in 
our manner of living, our dress, is under- 
mining the American character, ruining our 
genuineness, making us superficial, unreal, 
false. 

No man can really respect himself, when 
he is conscious that he is sailing under false 
colors. 

If you are wearing clothes and living in 
luxury which you can not afford, these things 
label you all over with falsehood, and are 
perpetual witnesses against you. There is 
only one possible result upon the character of 
falsehood, whether acted or spoken, and that 
is perpetual deterioration. It does not matter 
whether you wear lies, tell lies, or act lies, 
the effect upon your character is precisely 
the same. 

Trying to make people think that you are 
better off than you really are is a boomerang 
which strikes back with a fatal rebound. It 
is impossible for you very long to pretend, 
successfully, one thing and be another, for 
your reality is always asserting itself. 

Do not deceive yourself into thinking that 
good clothes, or a palatial home, can make 
a man or a woman. All the wealth in the 



TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES 65 

world could not raise manhood one degree in 
the scale of excellence. 

It is spending upward, living upward, liv- 
ing in honesty, in simplicity; living the real 
life, the life that is worth while, that will pro- 
duce the finest character and give the great- 
est satisfaction. 

Not long ago I was visited by a dear friend 
who has the courage to live the simple life, 
even in the midst of the pyrotechnical social 
life in New York. This man, who has not 
laid up a thousand dollars, has a magnificent 
character, strong, vigorous, yet sweet, gentle, 
kind. He envies no one ; bows to no one ; he 
has a superb independence; he walks like a 
conqueror. He has no anxiety about the 
future. He lives a full, complete life as he 
goes along. The moment one enters his at- 
mosphere he is conscious that he is in the 
presence of a rich personality. 

It does not require so much courage to 
live the life we can afford ; to be genuine, 
true, indifferent to what our neighbors think 
or say. Even those who are wealthy will 
think more of us for this manly, this womanly 
independence. 

Every one owes it to himself to live a real 
life, whether he is rich or poor; to be, and 



66 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

not to seem. He owes it to himself at least 
to be genuine. 

" Paint me as I am, warts and all, or I 
will not pay you for the picture," exclaimed 
Oliver Cromwell to the painter who was 
smoothing his rude features in a portrait. 
This is the sort of rugged honesty that is 
sorely needed to-day. 



V. NATURE AS A JOY-BUILDER 




V. NATURE AS A JOY-BUILDER 

To me the meanest flower that blows can give 
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. 

Wordsworth. 
The woods were filled so full with song 
There seemed no room for sense of wrong. 

Tennyson. 

EW young people who 
spend their summers in the 
country realize the splendid 
opportunities open to them 
for education as well as 
pleasure, at least to those 
of them who have learned to use their eyes. 
" The greatest thing a human soul ever 
does in this world," says Ruskin, " is to see 
something and tell what he saw in a plain 
way." 

Think how much it would add to life's 
happiness to be able to see things as this great 
nature-lover saw them ! To him beauty and 
harmony were everywhere, and all things 
were stamped with the autograph of the 
Almighty. 

It is small wonder that an Agassiz, who 

would go into ecstasies over the structure of 

a leaf or a flower, over the scale of a fish 

or a grain of sand, was so rich in the culti- 

69 



70 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

vation of his observing faculties that he could 
not afford the time to lecture even for five 
hundred dollars a night. To study the won- 
ders of Nature, to hear her music, and to 
interpret her language were riches enough 
for him. 

* " The more we see of beauty everywhere," 
says James Freeman Clarke, — " in Nature, in 
life, in man and child, in work and rest, in 
the outward and the inward world, — the more 
we see of God." If we love Nature and study 
her we can not help seeing beauty every- 
where; it will make us stronger and happier. 
So much, indeed, of the real joy of life 
comes from keeping the soul, — all one's fac- 
ulties and senses, — responsive to Nature, that 
it is nothing short of criminal to allow a child 
to grow up without learning to use his eyes 
and ears properly and to see and hear things 
as they are. 

One of the first lessons that should be im- 
pressed on every child, whether he live in the 
city or in the country, is how to see things 
out of doors. If he learns this early in 
life, he will be not only a man of larger 
intelligence and culture, but also a happier 
and more successful one than he otherwise 
would. 



NATURE AS A JOY-BUILDER 71 

At the cost of a few pennies the poorest 
boy or girl may be transported to the coun- 
try, and there see beauties which might en- 
trance an angel. Yet many persons travel 
across continents to see the works of the great 
masters, and give fortunes to possess them- 
selves of a canvas or two, representing a 
landscape, such as a sunset, or some other 
bit of nature, while they remain dense and 
unappreciative in the picture gallery of the 
great Artist of the Universe. 

Many of us have become so self-absorbed 
and have had our energies so long directed 
upon our material desires and problems, — ■ 
our plans to amass money, to make business 
pay, to perfect some invention, to write a 
book, or to attain this or that ambition; — in 
short, all our faculties have been centered in 
ourselves so long that they can not look out- 
ward except upon the things that concern 
our immediate interests. To learn to see 
things out of doors would be, to many of us, 
like learning a new occupation or profession 
in middle life. 

How often do we see a weary or broken- 
down city man go to the country for rest and 
recuperation and return to his city home or 
office unrefreshed and unstimulated. He did 



72 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

not really see or enjoy any of the country's 
wonder and beauty; he was not in sympathy 
with the voices of Nature, and could not hear 
them. His soul had become so hardened and 
sordid in its absorption in wealth-getting that 
it no longer responded to her appeals. He 
had eyes, but saw not, and ears, but heard 
not; and so the real wealth and joy of life 
had passed him by. How different it would 
have been had he allied himself with Nature, 
so that he could have imbibed some at least 
of the spirit thus voiced by Emerson: — 

Whoso inhabiteth the wood, 
And chooseth light, wave, rock, and bird, 
Before the money-loving herd, 
Into such forrester shall pass, 
From his companions, power and grace. 
Pure shall he be without, within, 
From the old adhering sin; 
He shall never be old, 
Nor his fate shall be foretold; 
He shall watch the speeding year 
Without wailing, without fear; 
He shall be happy in his love, 
Like to like shall joyful prove. 

Man uncovers his head and bows in rever- 
ence when he enters the sacred cathedrals of 
Europe, but how lifeless these cold stone piles 
are in comparison with the living, throbbing, 
creative processes which thrill us in the coun- 



NATURE AS A JOY-BUILDER 73 

try! No matter how jaded or melancholy or 
discordant we may be when we go into God's 
great cathedral — the country — our mood 
changes; we feel as though we were drink- 
ing in the nectar of the gods. 'Every breath 
is a tonic and every sight a rest for the 
weary mind. 

There is a spirit in Nature which finds kin 
in us, to which we respond. The things 
which God's thought expresses in flowers, in 
grasses, in plants, in trees, in meadows, in 
rivers, in mountains, in sunsets, in the song 
of birds, touches our very soul, puts us in 
tune with the Infinite, brings us into harmony 
with the great Spirit which pervades the uni- 
verse. There is a magical restoring power in 
the spirit which breathes through Nature, a 
healing balm for the wounded heart, a power- 
ful refreshener for the jaded, weary soul. 

Who has not felt the magic of that wonder- 
ful, refreshening, rejuvenating, recreating, 
process going on within him when walking 
about in the country? We can actually feel 
ourselves being made over, we can actually 
sense the renewing process going on within 
us when we are in the world of Nature. 

Who has not gone into the country when 
the worries, frictions and discords of the 



74 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

strenuous life have well-nigh wrecked his 
nervous system and felt the magic, recupera- 
tive touch of the nature spirit? 

How insignificant the things which yester- 
day forced us well-nigh to distraction seem 
when we are drinking in Nature's healing 
power at every pore ! 

After a day in God's garden we feel as 
though we had taken a new lease of life, as 
though we had bathed in nectar and drunk 
the wine of life. 

The man who comes back from a vacation 
spent amid the beauties of Nature is often a 
much better man than the one who went 
away. I have seen the most nervous, har- 
assed business men so completely transformed 
by a few weeks in the country that they did 
not seem to be the same men that they had 
been before. They had an entirely different 
outlook on business, on life. The things that 
irritated and worried them before the vaca- 
tion, they did not notice when they returned. 
They were new creatures, born again. 

There is no doubt that this feeling of re- 
freshment, this sense of rejuvenation, comes 
from the consciousness of the great creative 
Presence, the balm for all the hurts of the 
world. The swelling buds, the opening flow- 



NATURE ^AS *A*- JOY-BUTlTDER 1 75 

ers, the throbbing life everywliere make us 
feel that we are standing in the very Holy of 
Holies, that we actually feel and witness the 
creative act. 

Great minds have ever felt the peculiar 
healing power of Nature; the divine currents 
of life in the country have ever been a balm 
for their wounds, a panacea for all their ills. 



VI. EIGHT HUNDRED SIXTY-NINE 
KINDS OF LIARS 




VI. EIGHT HUNDRED SIXTY-NINE 
KINDS OF LIARS 

ARK TWAIN, in one of his 
stories, says of a character 
that whatever statement he 
chose to make was entitled 
to prompt and unquestion- 
ing acceptance as a lie. 
There are a great many kinds of liars and 
a great many ways of lying. Mrs. Opie once 
undertook to classify lies, as: lies of vanity; 
lies of flattery; lies of convenience; lies of 
interest; lies of fear; lies of malignity; lies 
of malevolence, and lies of wantonness. Mark 
Twain, in taking account of stock, counts 
eight hundred and sixty-nine varieties of lies. 
We all know the foolish liars who lie with- 
out motive from force of habit. We can un- 
derstand a person's lying when he has a strong 
motive for it, but to lie without any purpose 
whatever seems to the normal mind an unin- 
telligible thing. 

A very large class of liars are liars of care- 
lessness, thoughtlessness; people who do not 
mean to lie, who are honest enough, but who 
are slipshod in their mental processes. Their 
observation is faulty ; they do not see or hear 

79 



80 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

things with exactitude; do not see or hear 
them as they are. This comes from not tak- 
ing pains to get the exact facts about any- 
thing into their heads. 

One of the most pernicious liars is the flat- 
terer, the one who can not bear to wound 
you on your weak point. Then there is the 
polite liar, who prevaricates and deceives in 
order to be courteous. He wants you to 
think well of him and wants to make you feel 
good. He would rather deceive you than tell 
you unwelcome truths. Vanity liars can not 
bear to tell the truth when it reflects upon 
themselves or does not flatter their vanity. 
These liars may be believed in anything 
which does not reflect on themselves or put 
them in an unfavorable light. 

The so-called benevolent liars often es- 
cape condemnation because their motives are 
good. A good-natured man or woman, com- 
pelled to dismiss an employee, will sometimes 
give an undeserved recommendation, quite un- 
conscious of the injury thus done a later em- 
ployer. 

Slander, the blackest of all the falsehood 
family, does not always require a lying 
tongue. There are a thousand ways of lying. 
A person may lie by his silence, by not telling 



KINDS OF LIARS 81 

the truth when it is his duty to speak. A 
man may lie by telling- part of the truth. He 
may lie by his manner, by insinuations, by 
inference, by a shrug of the shoulders or a 
glance of the eye. 

One of the most pitiable of all liars is the 
weak liar, who has not moral stamina enough 
to tell the truth when it is disagreeable. Liars 
of this brand do not want to argue or defend 
their position; they go along the line of least 
resistance, prevaricate and deceive, because 
there is not lime enough in the backbone to 
enable them to stand straight and look a man 
in the face and tell him unpleasant truths. 
They would rather make him feel good at 
the time, and prefer that he find out the truth 
when they do not have to meet his gaze. I 
know people who mean to be absolutely hon- 
est who can never tell the exact truth when 
it requires a little moral courage, and cowards 
are always liars. They do not lie because 
they are bad, but because they are too weak 
to speak the truth. 

It takes courage to tell the truth when you 
know that it may place you in an unfortunate 
light before the world, and that a little pre- 
varication or a little innuendo may save you 
pain. It takes courage and character to tell 



82 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

the truth when to do so will be a temporary 
loss to you. It takes courage and manliness, 
womanliness, to tell the truth when it gives 
a decided advantage to a rival. It takes cour- 
age to stand up squarely, with an unflinch- 
ing eye, to look the world in the face and 
tell the straight, unvarnished truth, regard- 
less of consequences. 

The reputation of being beyond price, of 
being unshaken by any selfish motive; the 
reputation of always, everywhere, under all 
circumstances telling the truth — not pretty 
nearly, but the exact truth — is worth a thou- 
sand times more to one than any temporary 
gain from deceit. 

A very unfortunate phase of our mod- 
ern journalism is the temptation to tam- 
per with truth, to color, distort, misrepresent 
it, to make a great thing out of a little thing. 
The reputation of a newspaper is like that of 
an individual. The newspaper which con- 
stantly, knowingly deceives very soon gets 
the same kind of reputation as a consummate 
liar. There are few newspapers in the world 
which refuse to color the truth, to tamper 
with facts in order to make a sensation, but 
these few are the solid pillars of journalism. 
They stand for infinitely more in their com- 



KINDS OF LIARS 83 

munity than some other papers with a hun- 
dred times more circulation. 

One of the most dangerous characters in 
the business world is the man who has no 
vigor of integrity, who is indifferently honest, 
who prefers to be on the side of the right, 
but who will quibble, will tamper with the 
truth, will not tell quite the whole truth if his 
interests are jeopardized. 
I He may not lie outright, but he may leave 
untold a truth which he should tell, and which 
a gentleman would tell ; but in the end what 
such a man gains can not be compared with 
what he loses. He does not realize that al- 
though he may make a little more money, he 
is less of a man every time he misrepresents ; 
that while he may be adding something to his 
pocket he is taking something away from his 
manhood. 

How often, too, the crooked, lying man or 
institution finds that crooked methods do not 
pay, and that even as a working principle hon- 
esty is the best policy. Look at the history 
of business concerns in this country and see 
how very few of those which were doing a 
great business fifty years ago are even in ex- 
istence to-day. Many of them sprang up like 
mushrooms, made a good deal of noise in the 



84 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

business world, did lots of faking, deceptive 
advertising, and flourished for a while, at- 
tracting a great deal of attention, but they 
did not last long because there was no char- 
acter back of them. They were not reliable, 
and, after successfully deceiving their custo- 
mers for a time, they were found out. Then 
they began to shrink and shrivel, and ulti- 
mately went to the wall. 

Still, a great many people believe in the 
expediency of the lie as a policy. They be- 
lieve that it pays to deceive. Many business 
houses which are regarded as pretty honest 
cover up defects in goods and write mislead- 
ing advertisements. There are many men who 
think that deception in business is just about 
as necessary as money capital. They believe 
that it is very difficult, practically impossible, 
for any man to succeed in a large way and 
always tell the exact truth about everything. 

Not long ago a superintendent in a large 
dry-goods house said that he had been busy 
all the previous day cutting up whole bolts 
of cloth for remnants. He said that people 
would willingly pay more for these " rem- 
nants " when advertised as such, because of 
the deceptive suggestion that they were 
cheap, than they would to buy by the yard 



KINDS OF LIARS 85 

from the piece. Now, how long will the pub- 
lic continue to patronize such a house after 
once discovering this deception? The same 
principle is true of the bargain sales. Mer- 
chants often sell inferior goods at more than 
their regular price during these sales, because 
they know the power of suggestion in adver- 
tising to deceive. 

There is a great deal of the Indian in all 
of us. We do not forget favors, kindnesses, 
or injuries. On the ground of the weakness 
of all human nature, we may often forgive 
things which still sting, but when we have 
once been deceived by a business house, a 
traveling salesman, a solicitor, or a clerk, we 
do not forget it, and that house or clerk 
loses our confidence forever. 

Most young men overestimate the value of 
mere shrewdness, cunning, long-headedness, 
smartness, keenness. They seem to think that 
if they are going to get ahead rapidly they 
must not be too scrupulous about the exact 
truth; that a little deception, a little cunning 
will help them along faster; that if they veer 
this way and that from the truth — just enough 
to avoid disagreeable experiences — to make 
themselves popular, to make everybody feel 
good, they will be all right. There could not 



86 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

be a greater mistake, for if there is anything 
weak and doomed to failure by the very laws 
of the universe, it is misrepresentation. It 
never yet has won in the long run, and real 
success is as impossible by it as is the re- 
versal of the law of gravitation. 

Misrepresentation in any form is the short- 
est-sighted policy in the world. No man ever 
built up a permanent position or institution 
upon it, or ever will, for the man who gets a 
temporary advantage by misrepresentation 
makes everybody who finds it out his enemy 
ever after. It is human nature never fully 
to trust a person again who has once de- 
ceived us. 

Is there any power in cunning,, in shrewd, 
long-headed, deceptive methods that can for 
a moment compare with the truth, with ab- 
solute integrity? There is no advertisement 
in the world, in the long run, that can com- 
pare with that which comes from the reputa- 
tion of always and everywhere telling the ex- 
act truth, of being absolutely reliable. This 
reputation alone has made the names of some 
of the great business houses in this country 
worth millions of dollars. 

Every time a man deceives he knows that 
he has to cover his tracks. He is always on 



KINDS OF LIARS 87 

thorns for fear of discovery, for everything 
in his own nature is trying to betray him; 
but when he tells the truth, because he is built 
on the truth plan, he has all the universe sus- 
taining, supporting, backing him. 

What a difference there is between the 
power of a man who is telling the truth and 
is conscious that he is backed by the eternal 
principle of right and justice, and the man 
who is lying and is conscious of it! 

One can look the world in the face with- 
out wincing, because he feels that he is 
backed by eternal principle; there is victory 
in his eye, assurance in his very bearing, 
while there is something within the other 
man which says, "I am a liar ; I am not a 
man. I know I am not a man, but a sneak, a 
make-believe.' , 

The moment we attempt to express that 
which is not true, we are crippled, for we are 
doing an unnatural thing and are not re- 
inforced by the consent of all our faculties, 
The best thing in us, the divine thing, pro- 
tests against the false. 

No man can be really strong when in the 
wrong. Everything within rebukes him; 
everything tells him of his cowardice. Truth 
is man's normal state, deception is a culti- 



88 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

vated, abnormal thing*. There is no sub- 
stitute for the right. Cunning can not take 
its place, nor can education. A person may 
have great ability and a college education, but 
if he does not ring true, if there is any evi- 
dence of counterfeit about him he never gets 
our confidence, our order, our business, or 
our patronage. 

There is always a question mark in our 
minds when we have dealings with a man who 
is not perfectly honest. We are not sure of 
him. On the other hand, a person may lack 
education, culture, even refinement; but if 
he has an Honest heart, if he rings true every 
time, we believe in him ; we trust him. 

No man can look honest and long give the 
impression of honesty when he is an habitual 
scoundrel. It is only a question of time when 
something will happen to tear off his mask 
and reveal the real man. 

Just look at the man who has practiced de- 
ceit and lying all his life. There is not a line 
of truth in his face. His very expression is 
false. He radiates dishonesty from every 
pore. He may attempt to deceive with his 
smooth, honeyed diplomacy, but we instinc- 
tively feel that he is a liar in every part of 
his being. 



KINDS OF LIARS 89 

It does not matter how he tries to cover up 
his rottenness by appearances of respectabil- 
ity, his clothes, his money; he can not long 
continue to cheat the heart. What he says 
about himself contradicts what we feel. 

A perfectly truthful man regards his honor 
first ; his interest comes later. Truth is every- 
thing to him. Justice must be done, no 
matter if it goes against his own interests. 

Man is constructed along the lines of truth, 
and he can not violate his nature without 
showing it by the loss of the best thing in 
him. The liar's deception destroys his self- 
respect, and with it goes his confidence; and 
what can a man accomplish who can not re- 
spect himself or believe in himself? 

Why is it that a single man without wealth 
or position has so often exerted marvelous 
power in the world? Simply because he was 
supported by principle ; because one man with 
the right is always a majority and can stand 
against the world for principle — is invincible. 
One man in the right has often been more 
than a match for tens of thousands in the 
wrong. 

This was what made Lincoln such a giant; 
he always stood for truth and justice. He 
believed what he said, and he knew that the 



90 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

very structure of the universe was backing 
him. 

He would never take a case unless he be- 
lieved that his side was in the right. He 
knew that the advocate on the other side 
would always be placed at a disadvantage by 
trying to make others believe what he did not 
believe himself; that he would be weak at 
best, no matter how great an orator he might 
be. Lincoln knew there was something back- 
ing him that was greater than oratory, might- 
ier than words, and which multiplied his nat- 
ural ability a thousandfold. 

Right speaks with the force of law. The 
world listens when truth speaks through a 
man like Lincoln, who was entrenched in prin- 
ciple, baqked by the right. Not all of the 
mighty force which made him a giant among 
his fellows was generated in his own brain. 
There was a power back of him loaned from 
justice, from right, which made him invinc- 
ible; a power which all men forfeit the mo- 
ment they forsake truth, principle. 

When a man feels that he is buttressed by 
the right, entrenched in truth, he does not 
feel weak, although the whole world may be 
against him. He feels the everlasting arm 
about him, because he knows that nothing can 



KINDS OF LIARS 91 

stand against principle; nothing can be so 
mighty as the right. 

One of the mysteries of the ages has been 
the marvel of men going to the stake smiling, 
without a tremor; standing calm and serene 
while the flames were licking the flesh from 
their bones. They were supported by a power 
back of the flesh, but not of it; by the con- 
viction that they were in the right. They 
did not feel alone or weak, for they were 
entrenched in eternal principle. They be- 
lieved that they were protected by the Al- 
mighty, and nothing could shake their con- 
fidence or disturb their faith. Their exalted 
mental condition lifted them even above the 
pain of physical torture. 

The man who goes through the world sail- 
ing under false colors, trying to make black 
appear white, will always have a hard time 
of it. Nobody will long believe him, no 
matter how smooth his tongue, how long- 
headed or cunning he may be. Things are so 
planned that if a man is ever to get very far 
or to accomplish very much in this world he 
must be honest, for the whole structure of 
natural law is pledged to defeat the lie, the 
sham. Only the right, ultimately, can suc- 
ceed. 



92 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

What would you think of a man who tries 
to defeat the laws of mathematics? He is a 
bigger fool who tries to get ahead of right, 
tries to defeat justice by lying and deceit. 
No man ever yet got around God, good, jus- 
tice, right. It is true a man may get some- 
thing in the wrong — so may a thief. But the 
wrong always defeats itself because it has 
no principle in it. A man in the wrong is out 
of place for the same reason that discord is 
out of place in the presence of harmony. 

Not long ago nine students were sus- 
pended at Brown University for cribbing in 
their examinations. A great many well-in- 
tentioned students lie by cribbing in all sorts 
of ways in their recitations and examinations. 
They put formulae and figures and sugges- 
tions and all sorts of helps upon their cuffs 
and shirt bosoms, finger nails and paper 
rolls, to help them during their recitations or 
examinations, thus laying foundations for 
future forms of deceit and dishonesty on a 
large scale, which may ultimately ruin them. 

Many prosperous business men who are 
very conscientious about telling verbal lies are 
consummate liars in the deceits they work into 
their manufactures, their commodities. I 
know a man who is always talking to his sons 



KINDS OF LIARS 93 

about telling the truth, yet he has for nearly- 
half a century been selling lies in his store, 
boxes of lies, barrels of lies, lies in " foreign " 
silks made in New Jersey, and all sorts of 
" imported " articles. 

American liars in high places have recently 
had the flashlight of public scrutiny turned 
upon them. Men who not long ago stood 
high in the American regard are worse than 
nobodies to-day, for they are despised by their 
fellow men. 

Does it pay to sell one's birthright for a 
little mess of pottage? 

Veracity to a man should be as priceless as 
virtue to a woman. When he has lost truth- 
fulness and the reputation for it, he is a 
burned-out man, a mere shell, like one of our 
great skyscrapers gutted by fire. Does it pay 
to take chances with one's reputation? Noth- 
ing can compensate the lily for a smirch upon 
its whiteness; nothing can compensate the 
rose for the loss of its perfume and beauty. 

What is a man good for when the best 
thing in him is rotten, when all that makes 
him a man, all that marks him from 
the brute, is decayed? We might as well 
call a composition full of discordant notes, 
played on an instrument jangled out of 



94 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

tune, by the name of music, as to call him 
who has violated the fundamental principles 
of his God-given nature a man. Just in pro- 
portion as a man departs from the law on 
which he was made — truth — he approaches 
the brute and should be so classified by all 
decent people. Is there a sadder sight in 
America to-day than that of so many young 
men gambling with their reputations, taking 
chances with their good names, for the sake 
of a few more dollars or a little notoriety, 
with as little thought as they would bet on a 
race-horse ? 

What use is a fortune so gained that wher- 
ever the owner goes he will be pointed out 
as a man who has " sold out " — sold out his 
honor, his good name, his friends — every- 
thing that a manly man holds dear? 



VII. THE QUARRELING HABIT 




VII. THE QUARRELING HABIT 

|HE habit of haggling, argu- 
ing, and quarreling over 
trifles, or splitting hairs, 
especially when people are 
tired, destroys health and 
character. 

I have known large families, after a hard 
day's work, to spend a whole evening quar- 
reling over some trivial matter which did not 
amount to anything. Fagged and jaded after 
the day's work, the mental irritation and dis- 
cord set in motion in the tired brain com- 
pletely exhausted them, and, of course, their 
sleep was troubled and they rose the next 
morning haggard and worn, with no fresh- 
ness or spontaneity for the new day's work. 
They felt as though they had been out on a 
debauch. 

When shall we learn that harmony is the 
only condition under which strength of body 
and beauty of life can be developed? One's 
best work can not be done under friction, nor 
in a black, heavy, thundercloud atmosphere, 
There must be sunshine and good cheer and 
a happy environment to bring the best out of 
us. The faculties do not work normally 

97 



98 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

when there is even a little bit of discord. 
Perfect harmony gives strength of purpose, 
concentration of mind, and effectiveness of 
execution. There must be liberty — no sense 
of suffocation or restraint or repression — in 
an atmosphere which develops the best in a 
man. 

Many an invalid to-day owes his or her 
wretchedness and practical failure in life to 
quarreling, fault-finding, and the bickering 
habit. Irritation, friction, or discord of any 
description, is a great enemy of strength, 
health, and happiness, while absolute har- 
mony of character and environment is friendly 
to all worthy achievement. 

In thousands of homes we see gnarled, 
crippled, starved, stingy lives, which have 
never developed into their greatest possibili- 
ties; lives which have never blossomed out 
or come to fruitage because of being in a 
vicious atmosphere, an atmosphere full of dis- 
cord, criticism, scolding, and constant re- 
pression. No one can do good work when 
feeling a sense of suffocation or strangula- 
tion. 

How many boys have been driven away 
from home or into bad company by nagging ! 
How many girls have gone astray or rushed 



THE QUARRELING HABIT 99 

into unfortunate marriages because they were 
so nagged or criticised at home that any other 
place on earth seemed preferable! It was 
always, " Don't do this," or " Why don't you 
do that?" until the high-spirited boy got so 
tired of " don'ts " that he preferred the sa- 
loon, the grocery store, or the street corner 
to home, and the sensitive girl was so goaded 
by the constant pricking of a nagging tongue 
that at last her whole soul rose in rebellion, 
and she sought relief elsewhere. 

Young people resent being lectured or cor- 
rected all the time. Nor do they thrive un- 
der constant repression. All healthy young 
souls crave encouragement and praise. They 
will do anything for a father, mother, or 
teacher who gives them wise words of ap- 
preciation and encouragement, or who urges 
them to do their best by other means than 
fault-finding. 

Parents who indulge in the nagging habit 
often excuse themselves by saying that it is 
their love for the boy or girl that prompts 
their eternal strictures and criticisms, and 
that their " don'ts " are really for the loved 
one's best interests. Love which displays it- 
self in such a fashion is apt to remind one 
of the couplet, — 



ioo BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

" Perhaps it was right to dissemble your love, 
But — why did you kick me down stairs?" 

Nagging may be loving in disguise, but in 
a disguise so unlovely that most people will 
agree with the writer who said, " There is not 
a bit of love in the nag, however much the 
nagger may talk about affection. It is full 
of unrest and friction and selfishness." 

A fault-finding, criticising habit is fatal to 
all excellence. Nothing will strangle growth 
quicker than a tendency to hunt for flaws, to 
rejoice in the unlovely, like a hog which al- 
ways has his nose in the mud and rarely 
looks up. The direction in which we look in- 
dicates the life aim, and people who are al- 
ways looking for something to criticise, for 
the crooked and the ugly, who are always sus- 
picious, who invariably look at the worst side 
of others, are but giving the world a picture 
of themselves. 

This disposition to see the worst instead 
of the best grows on one very rapidly, until 
it ultimately strangles all that is beautiful 
and crushes out all that is good in himself. 
No matter how many times your confidence 
has been betrayed, do not allow yourself to 
sour, do not lose your faith in people. The 



THE QUARRELING HABIT 101 

bad are the exceptions ; most people are hon- 
est and true, and mean to do what is right. 

There are business men who get so into 
the habit of finding fault with everything and 
growling at everybody that it becomes second 
nature with them. If they happen to see 
anything out of place, or if something is not 
done just as they wish it done, instead of 
quietly calling attention to it, they yield to 
the first hasty impulse to scold and growl and 
find fault, until they make everybody about 
them uneasy. 

As far as remedying the defects of which 
it complains is concerned, this constant growl- 
ing is a complete failure, for every employee 
soon finds out that it is a habit, and after a 
while pays no attention to it, and is in no 
way affected by it, except that it embarrasses 
him when criticised or scolded before others. 
In the end it really tends to make him more 
careless and indifferent. 

The effect of the growling habit on those 
who indulge in it is much more disastrous. 
It has ruined many a naturally good disposi- 
tion and soured the whole life. It is a fatal 
leak in one's mental reservoir by which a 
great deal of his vitality is drained off. It 
never did and never will accomplish any- 



102 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

thing but harm. It is as impossible for growl- 
ing or scolding or perpetual fault-finding to 
do good as ft is for harmony to come from 
discord. It does nothing but create discord, 
and no good can come from discord of any- 
kind any more than it can come from hatred, 
revenge, or jealousy. 

A growler does little else in the world ex- 
cept to fling dark shadows into some one's 
sky, to cut off his sunlight, to thrust ugliness 
before his eyes, to mar his harmony, and to 
destroy his own peace of mind. He does not 
believe in saying kind things, or in praising 
or encouraging any one. He thinks that 
when things go wrong the only way to set 
them right is to scold and criticise and find 
fault. It is as foolish to expect to set wrong 
right in this way as it would be for a fire- 
man to expect to put out a fire by pumping 
kerosene oil upon it through his hose. 

Most of the cruelty of the world is thought- 
less cruelty. Very few people would inten- 
tionally add to another's load or make his 
burden in life heavier or his path rougher. 
Most of the great heart-wounds are inflicted 
by thoughtless thrusts, flung out often in a 
moment of anger, when, perhaps, we were too 



THE QUARRELING HABIT 103 

proud to apologize or to try to heal the 
grievous wounds we had made. 

Can anything be more cruel than to dis- 
courage a soul who is struggling to do the 
best he can, to throw stumbling-blocks in 
the path of one who is trying to get on 
in the world against great odds? 

No life is just the same after you have 
once touched it ; will you leave a ray of hope 
or one of despair, a flash of light or a som- 
ber cloud across some dark life each day; 
will you by thoughtless cruelty deepen the 
shadow which hangs over the life, or will 
you by kindness dispel it altogether? No 
matter how you feel or what is disturbing 
your peace of mind, never allow yourself to 
send out a discouraging, a cruel, or an un- 
kind word or thought. 

The gloom caster, the shadow thrower, the 
faultfinder, the sarcastic man, the man who 
is always giving you a thrust somewhere, 
does a vast amount of harm in a community. 
Men who throw gloomy shadows wherever 
they go, who depress everybody, who are 
always looking on the dark side of every- 
thing, who see little good or beauty in life, 
are bad neighbors, and, as a rule, are unsuc- 



104 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

cessful, unpopular, and little mourned wftea 
they die. 

It is the inspirer, the man who cheers and 
gives you hope and encouragement, the sun- 
shine bearer, the man who always has a kind 
word for you, who is ever ready to give you 
his hand aiad his help, that is loved during 
life and missed after death. 



VIII. THE RIGHT TO BE DISAGREE- 
ABLE 




VIII. THE RIGHT TO BE DISAGREE- 
ABLE 

F business men were to 
throw off self-control in 
their offices and places of 
business as many of them 
do in their homes, and say 
the same mean, contempt- 
ible, unguarded things to their customers that 
they say to the members of their own fam- 
ilies, their business would soon go to pieces. 
No good business man would risk his repu- 
tation, or the welfare of his business in such 
a way. He knows better than that. He 
knows that it would be fatal. When he is 
away from home he thinks too much of his 
reputation to risk it for the sake of gratify- 
ing his spleen, and he is always on his guard, 
for his pride is touched. He thinks too much 
of himself. His egotism, or vanity, pre- 
vents him from making a fool of himself, 
and so he practices self-restraint wherever 
his reputation is at stake ; but at home he does 
not care. He knows that his wife and chil- 
dren will try to protect him, and he does not 
hesitate to show the brute in him. 

There are thousands of men who are polite, 

107 



108 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

tactful, and diplomatic toward their custo- 
mers and in everything which bears upon 
their business, who seem to lock their good 
manners up in their offices at night ; men who 
are known as Dr. Jekylls in all their business 
or professional relations; but who assume 
the character of Mr. Hyde as soon as they 
enter their own homes, where they feel at 
liberty to ride roughshod over everybody's 
feelings. They do not seem to think that the 
wife, or any other member of the family, 
gets tired, has " nerves," or troubles of any 
kind. They exercise self-restraint all day, 
but the moment they get home they seem to 
vent their bad humor on everybody, even on 
the dog or the cat. Is it not a strange thing 
that so many people think that home is not 
a place for the exercise of self-control, but 
take it for granted that there they can abuse 
everybody without restraint? 

Why should a man who is polite and poli- 
tic in business and in his club, who can con- 
trol himself elsewhere, use his home as a 
kicking post, a place to get rid of his bad 
blood, — a place which, of all others, ought 
to be the most sacred, most peaceful, and the 
sweetest place in the world to him? 



RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE 109 

Many a thoughtless parent in the morning 
leaves a depressing influence upon some 
member of the family, the shadow of which 
hangs over the life all day. It does not 
matter that it is a thoughtless, heedless word 
flung out in impatience, its thrust is just as 
painful. Tongue thrusts are infinitely more 
painful than blows from the hand. 

If, on his return, there is company at 
home, he is just as suave and tactful as in 
his place of business. He defers to his wife's 
judgment, and is very kind to the servants 
and children, because his reputation is at 
stake. He can not afford to take chances 
with that. Outside people might spread his 
hoggish qualities, gossip about his meanness, 
and injure or humiliate him, while the mem- 
bers of his household would feel under a cer- 
tain obligation to take everything in silence, 
to protect his name. 

As soon as the guests go, however, this 
type of man grunts and growls, snarls and 
nags and finds fault, until he works every- 
one within sound of his voice into a state of 
nervous irritability. Then he finds fault with 
them for not being more amiable. 

The head of the house is not always the 



no BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

only offender in this respect. Wives and 
children often seem to think that the home is 
the place where they can indulge in fits of 
hot temper and say all manner of mean, dis- 
agreeable, and despicable things. They think 
that they have a right to spend a whole even- 
ing, or perhaps several days, pouting over 
some fancied injury or over some trifle. 

I have been in homes where a domestic 
storm was raging furiously, but the moment 
the doorbell rang and a caller came the storm 
subsided instantly and there was a complete 
revolution in the manner and the conversa- 
tion of the inmates. 

It is strange that so many people act as if 
the members of their immediate family have 
no special rights which they are bound to re- 
spect. They can not imagine why they should 
not converse or whistle, scold, find fault or 
make any kind of a noise, just because some- 
body else wants to read or think. Self-re- 
straint is a rare virtue in many homes. 

There are many households where all the 
laws of courtesy, and even of ordinary de- 
cency, are set at defiance; where the boys go 
downstairs in the morning and about the 
house half-dressed, without the slightest feel- 
ing of delicacy. 



RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE in 

The girls are often just as careless as their 
brothers. They go around the house in all 
sorts of costumes, soiled and untidy, and of- 
ten to the table, especially in the morning, in 
a disgraceful condition. They think it is all 
right because only their brothers and par- 
ents are present. 

In many homes the father and boys think 
nothing of sitting around the house in their 
shirt-sleeves, or of going to the table in the 
same manner, and often they indulge in pro- 
fanity and use language that they would be 
greatly ashamed of if anybody outside of 
their home should happen to hear. All safe- 
guards, all self-respect and consideration for 
others are thrown down in many homes, and 
everybody is thought to be at liberty to be 
just as slovenly, cross, crabbed, and disagree- 
able as he pleases. 

There is no one thing more fatal to that 
dignity of bearing, that refinement, that per- 
sonal .grace which commands respect, than 
this habit of dropping all standards of or- 
dinary good behavior and conduct in the 
home. It fosters a vulgarity which is very 
demoralizing to all the laws of character- 
building and right living. This easy-going, 



ii2 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

slipshod manner of living, as practiced in 
many homes, tends to the loss of self-respect 
and respect for one another. 

How can you expect the respect of the 
members of your family, or of those who 
work for you, when you do not show any 
sort of respect or deference, or kindness, or 
consideration for them, and when you act 
as though anything at all was good enough 
for them? 

It often occurs that a man marries a beau- 
tiful, bright, cheerful girl who is always bub- 
bling over with animal spirits, and in a short 
time everybody notices a complete change in 
her character, brought about by the perpetual 
suppression of her husband, who is severe in 
his criticisms and unreasonable in his de-i 
mands. The wife is surrounded with this at- 
mosphere of sharp criticism or severity until 
she entirely loses her naturalness and spon- 
taneity, and self-expression becomes impos- 
sible. The result is an artificial, flavorless 
character. 

It is easy to say that a wife or employee 
should stand up for her rights, that she 
should resent harsh criticisms and perpetual 
nagging, fault-finding, and severity of judg- 
ment; but natural timidity, modesty, weak- 



RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE 113 

ness of disposition, or dread of discord often 
makes this impossible. Then, the better-bred 
person is always placed at a disadvantage. 
The coarse brute has the advantage. The 
finer the character, the more sensitive the na- 
ture. The sense of propriety which comes 
from high breeding and nobility of nature 
places the victim at a great disadvantage. 
There may be a sense of disgust and a feel- 
ing of resentment, but these finer natures of- 
ten cease after a while to resist or protest, 
and meekly submit to the injustice, however 
brutal, until the power to resist and stand 
up for one's rights is almost obliterated. 

One can not be a lady or a gentleman some 
of the time and a bear the rest of the time 
without making unguarded slips. What we do 
habitually we tend to do all the time. Com- 
pany manners are very dangerous things. 
Those who practice them are always betray- 
ing themselves. They are like good clothes 
that are worn only occasionally, — the wearer 
never becomes sufficiently used to the seldom- 
worn garments to feel easy and comfortable 
in them, and is all the time betraying the fact. 
Like clothes, which must be worn often 
enough for the wearer to become unconscious 



ii4 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

of them, good manners must become so habit- 
ual that we shall practice them spontaneously 
and unconsciously. 

Many a man who is very deferential to so- 
ciety women treats the girls or poor women 
who happen to be dependent upon him for a 
living very shabbily. In society always on 
the alert to show the slightest service to the 
ladies, he is absolutely indifferent to the com- 
fort and feelings of a stenographer or other 
woman in his employ. Those who are bound 
to him by the necessity of earning their liv- 
ing, do not call out his nobler sentiments. He 
regards them as " just help," nothing more. 
They may be infinitely finer-grained than 
himself, but he rides roughshod over their 
sensitive feelings, domineering, criticising, 
mercilessly scolding, even using profane lan- 
guage. 

Such a man would be terribly shocked if 
those to whom he is so deferential in society 
knew how he treated the women in his em- 
ploy. They would not believe it possible — 
if they could be in his office, store, or factory 
for a day — that the man who displays these 
coarse brute qualities could ever be the pol- 
ished gentleman they met the evening before. 
Think of a woman, perhaps with a gentle, 



RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE 115 

delicate training, a woman of culture and 
rare refinement, and who has seen better days, 
but whose changed circumstances compel her 
to earn a living for her little ones, enduring 
the ill-humor, submitting to the insulting re- 
marks, the coarse and cruel treatment of such 
a man! How little he realizes that his own 
sister or his own wife may possibly be placed 
in a similar situation! 

There is nothing more contemptible than 
taking advantage of a woman in one's employ 
simply because she can not help herself. To 
treat her like a dog or a nobody, simply be- 
cause one happens to have a little more money 
than she, or because one happens to be a little 
more fortunate, is dastardly and contemptible. 

People ought to be rated by their quality. 
Many a refined, cultured, sweet, beautiful 
girl, for a few dollars a week, works for a 
coarse, cruel man who pays not the slightest 
heed to her sensitive feelings, never hesitates 
to wound her, to say disagreeable and most 
contemptible things to her, and often uses the 
most abusive, profane language. 

A girl who thinks of marrying a man who 
employs girls or women should find out how 
he treats them; what his bearing is, whether 
that of a gentleman or of a brute. If he is 



n6 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

not kind and considerate ' to those who are 
defenseless, he certainly will make a brute of 
a husband. Just as truly as night brings out 
the stars, so, in the intimacy of married life, 
the wear and tear of business, the irritability, 
the vexations, the disappointments in business 
or professional life, bring out the real man. 
He can not long cover up his horns and 
hoofs if he possesses them. Before the 
young woman decides upon a husband, she 
should try to know the man as his employees, 
as those who are brought into close daily 
contact with him, know him. That is the 
way to choose a husband. 

What right have you to abuse an employee, 
just because your dinner did not happen to 
agree with you, or because you dissipated 
the night before and feel cross and crabbed? 
Why should you humiliate, insult, or make 
innocent people suffer for your shortcom- 
ings? 

You should remember that others have 
rights just as inalienable and just as sacred 
as yours, and you have no more right to lash 
an employee with your tongue, or to abuse 
him just because you happen to be in an un- 
fortunate mood, than you have to strike him. 
The mere accident of your being an employer 



RIGHT TO BE DISAGREEABLE 117 

and he an employee does not give you any 
license to abuse or insult him. He has just 
as much right on this earth as you, and more, 
if he behaves better. Many an employer who 
struts around in fine clothes and makes a 
great noise in the world, and who abuses his 
employees, is infinitely inferior to many of 
those who work for him. 



IX. THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 




IX. THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 

HE story is told of a great 
king who had one little son 
whom he worshiped. The 
boy had everything he de- 
sired, all that wealth and 
love could give ; no wish was 
ungratified, but he was not happy. His face 
was always disfigured by a scowl of discon- 
tent. One day a great magician came to the 
palace of the king, and told him that he could 
make his son happy and turn his scowls into 
smiles. " If you can do this," said the king, 
" I will give you whatever you ask." The 
magician took the boy into a private cham- 
ber and wrote something with a white sub- 
stance on a piece of paper. He gave the 
paper to the boy and told him to go into a 
darkened room and hold a lighted candle un- 
der it and see what would happen. Then 
the magician went away. The young prince 
did as he was instructed, and the white let- 
ters, illuminated by the light from beneath, 
turned into a beautiful blue, and formed the 
words : " Do a kindness to some one every 
day." The prince followed the magician's 

121 



122 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

advice and soon became the happiest boy in 
his father's kingdom. 

No life is really happy until it is helpful, 
is really successful until it is radiant with joy 
and gladness, the gladness of good cheer, of 
good will toward everybody, of the spirit of 
brotherhood toward all men. Only by giving 
ourselves can we hold what we have, can we 
grow. 

Like that wonderful substance radium, 
which flings off millions of particles of itself 
every second, yet never seems to lose any- 
thing or to grow smaller, no matter how 
much we give of ourselves, how much we 
fling off of helpfulness, of good cheer and 
encouragement, there is not only no diminu- 
tion of our supply, but, on the contrary, the 
more we give, the more we have; the more 
we fling out of life, the more helpfulness, in- 
spiration, encouragement, and hope come back 
to us. 

Yet there is a strange weakness of human 
nature which blinds many of us to the good 
in others and which delights in making us 
say unkind things about them, hurting them 
instead of helping them. 

We have all met the habitual belittler, who 
never sees any good in anything which does 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 123 

not immediately concern himself, advance his 
interests, the man who is always flinging out 
his sarcasms, sticking a knife into other peo- 
ple's backs, making light of others' motives, 
finding faults and defects in their characters, 
and implying that they are not what they 
ought to be or pretend to be. 

It is positively painful to the small soul to 
hear a competitor complimented or spoken 
well of. He always tries to minimize the vir- 
tue and quality of the praise of another by 
a malicious " if " or " but," or endeavors in 
some way to throw doubt upon the character 
of the person praised. 

The habit of belittling is a confession of 
weakness, of inferiority, of a small, jealous, 
envious nature; a confession that one's life is 
not well poised, well balanced. The large, 
magnanimous soul has no room for jealousy, 
for the belittling spirit. It magnifies the good 
and minimizes the bad. 

A spirit of generosity and kindness is an 
indication of greatness of soul. Jealousy, 
envy, a disposition to keep from others the 
credit which belongs to them, are marks of 
a small nature, a pinched mentality. A kindly 
spirit always accompanies largeness of nature, 
breadth of character. The man who belittles 



i2 4 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

a competitor, who maintains a mean silence 
when he should praise, only exhibits to the 
world his own narrowness and stinginess of 
soul. A man with a really large nature is 
generous and charitable even to his worst 
enemy. 

The belittler does not realize that in dis- 
paraging others, in discounting the achieve- 
ments of competitors, he is exposing the limit- 
ations of his own soul, the smallness of his 
nature, and not only that, but is all the time 
making the person he is talking to think less 
of him. We little imagine that when we 
draw a picture of others we draw one of our- 
selves. A small, mean soul sees only small, 
mean things in another. A really great na- 
ture sees only the good qualities of others. 

Unfortunately, men of great ability who 
have been distinguished for brilliant intellec- 
tual gifts, often unusual courage and tenacity 
of purpose, men who have really done big 
things, have frequently been insanely jealous 
and envious of others, especially those in the 
same profession or business as themselves. 

Many singers and actors, and, I am sorry 
to say, some clergymen, suffer from profes- 
sional jealousy. They are pained by hearing 
others in their profession praised. This jeal- 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 125 

ousy is perhaps more characteristic of pro- 
fessional people generally than of business 
people. 

I know a clergyman who would be very 
popular and successful if he were only large 
enough to see the good in his brother clergy- 
men, but he is not. He is always emphasizing 
their faults and weaknesses, especially those of 
men who are gaining in popularity. If any 
one praises another clergyman, " Yes/' he 
will say, " he is a pretty good man, but he is 
not always absolutely accurate, reliable, in 
his statements ;" or, " He is very free in his 
use of other preachers' sermons ; he is a great 
borrower of ideas ;" or he will make some 
other nasty, belittling remark. 

One reason why we get such stingy results 
from our life-work is because we are not 
more generous givers of ourselves, our sym- 
pathy and encouragement. We must give 
more in order to get more. He who is stingy 
of his sympathy, of his helpfulness, of his 
praise and appreciation, pinches, starves, and 
strangles his own nature. 

It is the generous giving of ourselves that 
produces the generous harvest. Many peo- 
ple are so stingy of their sympathies, their 
praise and appreciation, are so afraid of giv- 



126 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

ing away something, they are so shut in — 
the shutters of their lives so tightly closed — ■ 
that their natures are stunted and starved for 
the lack of sunshine and air. 

It is astonishing how rapidly a person will 
develop when he opens up his nature and 
flings out his life with all his might in the 
service of others. There is nothing which 
will do so much for the life as the early form- 
ing of the good-will habit, the kindly habit, 
the habit of saying pleasant things about 
others. 

A philosopher once asked his pupils, 
" What is the most desirable thing in the 
world ? " After many answers had been given, 
one finally said, "A good heart." "True," 
said the philosopher, "thou hast compre- 
hended in two words all that the rest have 
said, for he that hath a good, heart will be 
contented, a good companion, a good neigh- 
bor, and will easily see what is fit to be done 
by him." 

A good heart, a kindly disposition, a frank, 
cordial, open, generous nature are riches be- 
side which the fortune of a multi-millionaire 
shrinks into insignificance. The man who 
has these, though he have not a cent to give 
away, may do as much good as any multi- 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 127 

millionaire, be he ever so generous with his 
money. 

" My office is in the Exchange ; come in 
and see me," said Jesse Goodrich to John B. 
Gough, the great temperance lecturer, the 
morning after the latter had signed the 
pledge. " I shall be happy to make your ac- 
quaintance," he added, cordially. " I thought 
I would just call in and tell you to keep up 
a brave heart. Good-by; God bless you; 
don't forget to call." 

" It would be impossible to describe how 
this little act of kindness cheered me," Gough 
used to say. " ' Yes, now I can fight/ I said 
to myself ; and I did fight, six days and nights, 
encouraged and helped by a few words of 
sympathy. And, so encouraged, I fought on, 
with not one hour of healthful sleep, not one 
particle of food passing my lips for six days 
and nights." 

A few words of kindly sympathy, of lov- 
ing encouragement, helped him to recover 
his manhood and become a great power for 
good in the world. 

The habit of saying kind things to others 
and about them, of always looking for the 
good in them, savors of Heaven. 

We can not help admiring and loving those 



128 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

who hold such a mental attitude toward us. 
Whole communities are often lighted up and 
cheered by one of these happiness radiators. 
Oh, what riches live in a sweet, sunny soul; 
what a blessed heritage is a sunny face, a 
sweet disposition; what joy to be able to 
fling out sunshine wherever one goes, to 
scatter shadows and lighten sorrfow-laden 
hearts ! 

The trouble with us is that we misunder- 
stand, misjudge one another. We judge peo- 
ple too much by their mean traits, their mis- 
takes, their shortcomings, their peculiarities. 
How quickly the millennium would come if 
we could only realize the truth that there is a 
God in the meanest of men, a philanthropist 
in the stingiest miser, a hero in the biggest 
coward, which an emergency great enough 
would call out. 

During an epidemic of yellow fever at 
Memphis it was almost impossible to get 
enough watchers and nurses to attend the 
stricken. One day a man with coarse fea- 
tures, closely cropped hair, and shuffling gait, 
went to one of the attending physicians, and 
said, " I want to nurse." The doctor, look- 
ing him over critically, said, curtly, " You 
are not needed." " But I wish to nurse," 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 129 

persisted the man. " Try me for a week. If 
you don't like me then, dismiss me; if you 
do, pay me my wages." " Very well," said 
the doctor, " I'll take you," adding, mentally, 
" I'll keep my eye on you." 

The uncouth volunteer became one of the 
most valuable nurses on the staff. He was 
tireless and self-denying. Wherever the 
pestilence raged most fiercely he was, also, 
and worked the hardest. The sufferers adored 
him. To them his rough face was as the 
face of an angel. Not only did he nurse them 
with the care and devotion that a mother 
gives to her children, but it was found after- 
ward he also put every cent of his earnings 
into a relief box for the benefit of the plague- 
stricken. 

When " John the nurse," the name he was 
known by, later sickened and died of the 
fever, those who prepared him for burial 
found on his body a livid mark — the brand 
of a convicted felon! 

Many of us are so blinded by the blight- 
ing greed of gain, by the marbleizing usages 
and cold laws of trade which encrust our 
hearts with selfishness, that we do not see the 
good in people. When we learn to look for 
the good in them instead of the bad, we shall 



i 3 o BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

bring out the good instead of the bad, for our 
estimate of others helps to form their esti- 
mate of themselves ; and no one can bring out 
the best when he believes and see only the 
worst of himself. If we held charitable, help- 
ful views of one another our attitude would 
revolutionize civilization. 

A Cleveland paper tells of a tramp who 
came to the back door of a residence and 
begged for shoes. The mistress of the house 
gave him a good pair, and said to him, 
"There, put these on, and if you want to 
show your gratitude, just happen around 
here some morning after a snow-storm and 
clean off our sidewalk." 

Sometime after, the lady was awakened 
early one morning by some one scraping the 
sidewalk in front of the house. Looking out 
she found that there had been quite a heavy 
fall of snow, and there she beheld the tramp 
to whom she had given the shoes, clearing 
away the snow from the sidewalk with an old 
broken shovel. When he caught sight of his 
benefactress at the window, he raised his 
tattered hat to her, and, his self-imposed task 
finished, went away without -saying a word or 
even asking for anything to eat. Three times, 
the same thing happened during the winter, 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 131 

but the man never asked for compensation or 
food. 

A New York woman once invited a ragged, 
dirty beggar into her house, and after he had 
had a comfortable meal and some clean cloth- 
ing, she sent him away with words of en- 
couragement, telling him that he was made 
for something better than tramping; that it 
was a shame for a man of his apparent intel- 
ligence and good health to be getting a living 
in such a disgraceful way. 

A year afterward, when she had forgotten 
all about the tramp she had befriended, this 
lady became embarrassed financially and was 
in sore need of money. She asked a friend 
if he knew where she could borrow five hun- 
dred dollars, but he could not accommodate 
her, nor did he know of any one who could. 
Next day, to her great astonishment, a man, 
a total stranger, as she thought, called at her 
house and told her that he had heard she was 
pressed for money, and that he had come to 
lend her the amount she needed. With grow- 
ing surprise she asked how it was that a com- 
plete stranger, whom she had never seen, was 
willing to trust her. The man then explained 
that he was the tramp whom, a year before, 
she had taken to her home and treated like 



132 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

a brother, that her kindness on that occasion 
had been the turning-point in his career, had 
made a man of him again; that he had pros- 
pered beyond his deserts, and that ever since 
he had gotten on his feet he had been wishing 
for an opportunity to show his appreciation 
of what she had done for him. 

" No man has come to true greatness," says 
Phillips Brooks, " who has not felt in some 
degree that his life belongs to his race, and 
that what God gives him, He gives him for 
mankind." 

Yet one would think by the way in which 
many of us push, drive, elbow and trample 
one another in our mad rush for the dollar, 
that there were no ties of humanity binding 
us together, that we were natural enemies in- 
stead of brothers. Everywhere we see men 
in distress, whom we are amply able to as- 
sist and do not. We see them go to ruin 
financially when we might save them, be- 
cause " it is none of our affairs." 

There is nothing so brutal, so hard-hearted 
as the man who is swallowed up in his own 
selfishness, who has allowed greed to eat out 
of his heart all of its nobler instincts, whose 
nature has become so hard that he can see no 
good in his fellow man. 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 133 

Cultivate an open nature, a kindly manner, 
a generous spirit. Do not be stingy with your 
cordiality, your praise, your helpfulness. 
Fling out your best to everybody, every time. 
Learn to say pleasant things to people, and 
about them, to do generous things, and you 
will be surprised to see how your life will 
enlarge, your soul expand, and your whole 
nature become enriched and ennobled. 

The persistent effort to give everybody a 
lift when possible, to make everybody we 
come in contact with a little better off, to 
radiate sunshine, cheer, hope, good will, to 
scatter flowers as we go along, not only brings 
light and joy to other hearts, but opens wide 
the door to our own happiness. 

There is no habit which will give more 
satisfaction, that will enrich you more than 
that of doing a good turn for others at every 
opportunity. If you can not give material 
help, if you have, no money to give, you can 
always help by a cheerful spirit, by cordial 
words of sympathy, kindness, and encourage- 
ment. There are more hearts hungering for 
love and sympathy than for money, and these 
you can always give. 

A poor foreigner, who could speak very 
little English, was recently accosted in Cen- 



i 3 4 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

tral Park, New York, by a kind-hearted man 
who noticed he looked dejected, and thought 
he might be in need. To his offer of as- 
sistance, however, the foreigner replied that 
he didn't need money, but that he was lonely, 
and " just hungry for a handshake." 

We all like the person who flings the door 
of his heart wide open and bids us welcome 
with a warm grasp of the hand and a cordial 
good fellowship ; who sees a brother in every 
man he meets, instead of a rival, a com- 
petitor, or a possible enemy. 

The whole-souled, large-hearted, open- 
minded, kindly-disposed person has an in- 
finite advantage over the narrow, pinched, 
clam-like nature that repels instead of at- 
tracting. Cultivate an open nature. Do not 
be afraid to speak to strangers, to let your- 
self out, to give your best to everybody you 
meet. Do not draw within yourself and shut 
up like a clam whenever you approach any 
one to whom you have not been introduced. 

The cultivation of a helpful spirit of cor- 
diality, of large-mindedness, a broad gener- 
ous way of looking at things, is of inesti- 
mable advantage not only to growth of 
character, but also to progress in the world. 
So much of one's success depends on the per- 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 135 

sona! equation, so much upon the possession 
of attractive qualities, upon the personality, 
that the importance of those things can not 
be overestimated. There is nothing else, for 
instance, which creates a good first impres- 
sion so quickly, and calls out such a feeling 
of good will, as a frank, cordial manner — a 
manner that is perfectly transparent, that con- 
ceals no guile, covers no malice; while there 
is nothing else that will freeze a person so 
quickly as an icy, formal, suspicious manner. 

I have sat down at table in a hotel or res- 
taurant with a cold, repellent personality, 
when it has been positively depressing 
to sit there, even without speaking to the 
man; for his whole manner forbade one to 
look at him. On the other hand, I have sat 
at table with foreigners who could not speak 
a word of our language, and yet their cordial, 
gracious salute as I sat down warmed me for 
the rest of the day. Their manner spoke a 
language all nationalities understood. It was 
the language of brotherhood, of good will. 

While traveling through New Mexico and 
Arizona, sometime ago, in hot weather, there 
was a young Southerner on the train who 
seemed to get acquainted with his fellow- 
travelers without effort, and who made the 



136 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

hot, dry, dusty and otherwise dreary trip a 
real pleasure because of his sunshine. His 
face was so radiant and he was so full of ani- 
mal spirits and simple, kindly good nature 
that it did one good to look at him. He 
seemed eager to give himself out, to help 
every one, and to tell all he knew about the 
country through which we were passing. 

That young man's cheerfulness and cordial 
manner will win him a welcome wherever he 
goes. 

In some sections of the country, especially 
where the climate is severe, the soil poor, and 
the conditions hard, the people seem to par- 
take of the nature of their environment. They 
act as if they were afraid that they might 
cast their pearls before swine. They are not 
quite sure that they want to make friends 
with the people they meet ; there is a cold re- 
serve, a hesitancy in giving the hand, in open- 
ing the heart. They feel that they must take 
every step with the greatest caution ; that they 
must investigate one's character, one's stand- 
ing, before they dare give themselves out 
without reserve; that they must not be too 
generous with their cordiality, or it may cost 
them dear later. 

Contrast this stinginess of generosity, this 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 137 

lack of brotherly feeling, with the cordial, 
whole-hearted manner of those from more 
genial, hospitable environments. A typical 
Southerner or Westerner will grasp your 
hand upon first introduction as warmly as 
though he had known you for years. He gives 
you his heart, his confidence, with his hand. 
There is no stingy, suspicious reserve, no nar- 
row critical scrutiny of your person lest he 
make a mistake, or say something, make some 
friendly advance which he will regret later. 
He just gives himself to you generously, 
broadly, magnanimously, gives you his best 
wishes, and makes you feel at home, as if 
you had met a brother. 

Some people have a faculty for touching 
the wrong keys ; from the finest instrument 
they extract only discord. All their songs 
are in a minor key. They sound the note of 
pessimism everywhere. The shadows pre- 
dominate in all their pictures. Their outlook 
is always gloomy; times are always hard and 
money tight. Everything in them seems to 
be contracting; nothing expanding or grow- 
ing in their lives. 

With others it is just the reverse. They 
cast no shadows. They radiate sunshine. 
Every bud they touch opens its petals and 



138 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

flings out its fragrance and beauty. They 
never approach you but to cheer ; they never 
speak to you but to inspire. They scatter 
flowers wherever they go. They have that 
happy alchemy which turns prose to poetry, 
ugliness to beauty, discord to melody. They 
see the best in people and say pleasant and 
helpful things about them. Let us open up 
our natures, throw wide the doors of our 
hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and 
kindness; let us be at least as generous in 
judging others as we are in judging our- 
selves, as tolerant of their weaknesses as of 
our own. Let us throw away all animosities, 
and try to be large enough and grand enough 
to see the God in the meanest man. 

The habit of holding the good-will, kindly 
attitude of mind toward everybody has a pow- 
erful influence upon the character. It lifts 
the mind above petty jealousies and mean- 
nesses; it enriches and enlarges the whole 
life. Wherever we meet people, no matter 
if they are strangers, we feel a certain kin- 
ship with and friendliness for them, greater 
interest in them, if we have formed the good- 
will habit. We feel that if we only had the 
opportunity of knowing them, we should like 
them. 



THE GOOD-WILL HABIT 139 

In other words, the kindly habit, the good- 
will habit makes us feel more sympathy for 
everybody. And if we radiate this helpful, 
friendly feeling, others will reflect it back 
to us. 

On the other hand, if we go through life 
with a cold, selfish mental attitude, caring 
only for our own, always looking for the main 
chance, only thinking of what will further 
our own interests, our own comforts, totally 
indifferent to others, this attitude will, after 
a while, harden the feelings and marbleize 
the affections, and we shall become dry, pes- 
simistic, and uninteresting. 

Try to hold the kindly, good-will attitude 
toward everybody. If your nature is hard 
you will be surprised to see how it will soften 
under the new influence. You will become 
more sympathetic, more charitable toward 
others' weaknesses and failings, and you will 
grow more magnanimous and whole-souled. 
The good-will attitude will make us more 
lovable, interesting, and helpful. Others will 
look upon us in the same way in which we 
regard them. The cold, crabbed, unsocial, 
selfish person finds the same dualities reflected 
from others. 

TTow much hetter it is to eo through life 



140 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

with a warm heart, with kindly feelings to- 
ward everybody, radiating good will and good 
cheer wherever we go ! Life is short at most 
and what a satisfaction it is to feel that we 
have scattered flowers instead of thorns, that 
we have tried to be helpful and kind instead 
of selfish and churlish. 

The world builds its monuments to the un- 
selfish, the helpful, and if these monuments 
are not in marble or bronze, they are in the 
hearts of those whom their inspirers have 
cheered, encouraged, and helped. 

All of us, no matter how poor we may be, 
whether we have succeeded or failed in our 
vocations, can be great successes in helpful- 
ness, in radiating good will, good cheer, and 
encouragement. 

Everybody can be a success in the good- 
will business, and it is infinitely better to fail 
in our vocation and to succeed in this, than 
to accumulate great wealth and be a failure 
in helpfulness, in a kindly, sympathetic atti- 
tude toward others. 

The habit of wishing everybody well, of 
feeling like giving everybody a Godspeed, en- 
nobles and beautifies the character wonder- 
fully, magnifies our ability, and multiplies our 
mental power. 



THE COOD-WILL HABIT 141 

We were planned on lines of nobility; we 
were intended to be something grand; not 
mean and stingy, but large and generous; 
we were made in God's image that we might 
be Godlike. 

Selfishness and greed dwarf our natures 
and make us mere apologies of the men and 
women God intended us to be. The way to 
get back to our own, to regain our lost 
birthright, is to form a habit of holding the 
kindly, helpful, sympathetic, good- will at- 
titude toward everybody. 



X. LOVE AS A TONIC 




X. LOVE AS A TONIC 

LL through the Bible are pas- 
sages which show that love 
is a health-tonic, and actu- 
ally lengthens life. 

"With long life will I 
satisfy him," says the Psalm- 
ist, "because he hath set his love upon me." 
Love is harmony, and harmony prolongs life, 
as fear, jealousy, envy, friction, and discord 
shorten it. 

Who has not seen the magic power of love 
in transforming rough, uncouth men into re- 
fined and devoted husbands ! 

There is no doubt that those who are filled 
with the spirit of love, which is the Christ 
spirit, — whose sympathies and tenderness are 
not confined to their immediate relatives and 
friends, but reach out to every member of the 
human famlily, — live longer and are more 
exempt from the ills of mankind than the 
selfish and pessimistic, who, centered in them- 
selves, lose their better part of life, the joy 
and the strength that come from giving them- 
selves to others. 
The power of love is often illustrated in a 

145 



146 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

delicate mother who walks the floor, night 
after night, whose days pass without recrea- 
tion or change, week in and week out, and 
who feels more than compensated if she can 
only procure relief for her suffering little one. 

In no other way than through the marvel- 
ous power of love can we account for the 
wonderful miracles of endurance presented 
by many mothers in bringing up large fam- 
ilies. Think of a mother carrying about, per- 
haps for the greater part of a day and the 
night following, the same weight, in mer- 
chandise or other matter, as that of a sick 
child! She could not stand the strain. She 
would be ill in a short time. But love light- 
ens her load and makes self-sacrifice a pleas- 
ure. She can bear any burden, even poverty, 
disappointment, or suffering, for the sake of 
the loved one. This sublimely unselfish moth- 
er-love is a prototype of the most exalted 
creative love that enraptures the universe, 
that invites us to be partakers and dispensers 
of this world-tonic, this great panacea for all 
of the ills of mankind. 

" The situation that has not its duty, its 
ideal/' says Carlyle, " was never yet occu- 
pied by man. Yes, here in this poor, miser- 
able, hampered, despicable actual, wherein 



LOVE AS A TONIC 147 

thou even now standest, here or nowhere is 
thy ideal ; work it out therefrom, and, work- 
ing, believe, live, be free. Fool! the ideal is 
in thyself." 

Not on some far-off height, in some dis- 
tant scene, or fabled land, where longing 
without endeavor is magically satisfied, will 
we carve out the ideal that haunts our souls, 
but near at hand. 

In the humble valley, on the boundless 
prairie, on the farm, on sea or on land, in 
workshop, store, or office, wherever there is 
honest work for the hand and brain of man 
to do, — within the circumscribed limits of 
our daily duties is the field wherein our ideal 
must be wrought. 

Wrapped up in every human being there 
are energies which, if unfolded, concentrated, 
and given proper direction, will develop the 
ideal. 

Our very longings are creative principles, 
indicative of potencies equal to the task of 
actual achievement. These latent potencies 
are not given to mock us. There are no sealed 
orders wrapped within the brain without the 
accompanying ability to execute them. 

If the emancipation proclamation is written 
in your blood, if it is indicated in the very 



148 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

texture of your being, you will have within 
you — undeveloped, it may be, but always 
there, — strength to break the fetters that bind 
you, power to triumph over the environment 
which hampers you. 

No external means alone, however, will ac- 
complish this. You must lay hold of eternal 
principles, of the everlasting verities, or you 
never can accomplish what you were sent into 
the world to do. You never can reach the 
goal of your highest possibilities until you 
believe in your God-given power to do so, 
until you are convinced that you are master 
of your will, and that the Creator has endowed 
you with strength to bend circumstances to 
aid you in the realization of your vision. 

Our energies must not be allowed to run 
to waste in longing without action. Our la- 
tent strength must be developed steadily and 
persistently. All our reserves must be util- 
ized, all our powers concentrated and wisely 
directed toward the accomplishment of the 
work we have marked out for ourselves. 

With eyes ever fixed on the ideal, we must 
work with heart and hand and brain; with a 
faith that never grows dim, with a resolu- 
tion that never wavers, with a patience that 
is akin to genius, we must persevere unto the 



LOVE AS A TONIC 149 

end; for, as we advance, our ideal as steadily 
moves upward. 

Everywhere we see people starving for 
love, famishing for affection, for some one 
to appreciate them. 

On every hand we see men and women pos- 
sessing material comfort, luxury, all that can 
contribute to their physical well-being — who 
are able to gratify almost any wish — and yet 
they are hungry for love. They seem to have 
plenty of everything but affection. They 
have lands and houses, automobiles, yachts, 
horses, money — everything but love! 

Much of what goes by the name of love is 
only selfishness. Until love extends beyond 
the narrow circle of relatives and friends ; 
until it stretches beyond the shores of one's 
own land, it is not real love. The Christ- 
love is not that which nourishes and cares 
with greatest solicitude for one's own child, 
and yet turns a deaf ear to the cry of the 
hungry and forsaken one in the street. Pure 
love is in the act, and does not take note of 
the object. 

When Elizabeth Fry visited Newgate" 
Prison, in London, where the women were 
packed in one room like cattle, without the 
slightest attention to sanitation, she was much 



150 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

interested in a girl who had committed a ter- 
rible crime. One of the London ladies engaged 
in philanthropic work asked her what crime 
this girl had committed. " I do not know/' 
she replied. " I never asked her." 

All she wanted to know was that this poor 
unfortunate had made a mistake, and that she 
needed love to heal the wound and help her 
to reform. It was not the wind or tempest 
the girl wanted, but the warm, gentle sun- 
light. 

I do not believe there is any human being, 
in prison or out, so depraved, so low, so bad, 
but that there is somebody in the world who 
could control him perfectly by love, by kind- 
ness, by patience. 

I have known women who had such charm 
of manner, such great loving, helpful hearts, 
that the worst men, the most hardened char- 
acters, would do anything in the world foi 
them — would give up their lives, even, tc 
protect them. But they could never be re- 
formed, could never be touched by hatred 01 
unkindness or compulsion. Love is the onlj 
power that could reach them. 

There is a man in New York City who ha< 
served, at different times, twenty-five yean 
in state prison. He was one of the mo£ 



LOVE AS A TONIC 151 

hardened of criminals. No sooner would he 
get out of prison than he would begin to plan 
some burglary which would send him back 
again. The police all knew him. 

A great many people tried to help him, and 
many a time he got a position, only to lose it, 
because some one who knew him circulated 
the report that he was an ex-convict. 

He happened to fall under the influence of 
one of these sweet and noble women, who did 
not ask him what he was sent to prison for 
or to describe the crimes he had committed. 
She did not want to have anything to do with 
the bad part of him. She wanted to forget 
all that, and wanted him to forget it, too. She 
told him that he was not made for such busi- 
ness, that the Creator had given him that 
marvelously strong, keen brain of his for a 
great and noble purpose; that he was a suc- 
cess and happiness machine, so fearfully and 
wonderfully wrought that it had taken the 
Creator a quarter of a century to bring it to 
its perfection ; that success and happiness 
were his birthright ; that all he had to do was 
to claim them; that he had no right to look 
upon himself as a debased creature, but that 
he should hold perpetually in mind the thought 
of his divinity; that he was made by a per- 



152 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

feet Being and hence his better self must be 
perfect. 

She told him not to go about the streets 
trying to sneak and to slink out of sight, not 
to regard himself as a criminal, haunted and 
hunted by the police and detectives, but to 
say to himself, " I am a man, a strong, mag- 
nificent man, made in the image of Perfec- 
tion. I must be perfect. There is an inde- 
structible, inviolable something within me 
which must ultimately dominate my life and 
bring me into harmony." 

The man faithfully followed the advice of 
his benefactress, and after a while he became 
so completely transformed that the hardened 
criminal lines, the sneaking fear lines in his 
face were replaced by signs of nobility. The 
uplifting suggestions constantly held in his 
mind outpictured themselves in his face and 
changed his expression to one of manhood. 

All this was the result of appealing to the 
best in the man, calling out the qualities which 
had been buried all those years, which had 
had no chance to grow, which had been 
smothered by the overdevelopment of the 
brute faculties. 

This pure, sweet woman called out of this 
man qualities which completely changed his 



LOVE AS A TONIC 153 

life, and which a hundred years of punish- 
ment ancf cruelty and threatening and torture 
could never have developed. 

Forget yourself. You will never do any- 
thing great until you do. Self-consciousness 
is a disease with many. No matter what they 
do, they can never get away from themselves. 
They become warped upon the subject of self- 
analysis, wondering how they look, how they 
appear, what others will think of them, how 
they can enhance their own interests. In 
other words, every thought and every effort 
seems to focus upon self; nothing radiates 
from them. 

No one can grow while his thoughts are 
self-centered. The sympathies of the man 
who thinks only of himself are soon dried 
up. Self-consciousness acts as a paralysis to 
all expansion, strangles enlargement, kills as- 
piration, cripples executive ability. The mind 
which accomplishes things worth while looks 
out, not in; it is focused upon its object, not 
upon itself. 

The immortal acts have been unconsciously 
performed. The greatest prayers have been 
the silent longings, the secret yearnings of 
the heart, not those which have been delivered 
facing a critical audience. The daily desire 



154 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

is the perpetual prayer, the prayer that is 
heard and answered. 

The real test of a man's success is his daily 
life. Does he really live? Is he alive in ev- 
ery part of his being, or have his best qual- 
ities shriveled and atrophied from disuse? 

What matters it how much money one has 
if there is only a small part of the real man 
alive; if his sympathies have dried up from 
the lack of use or cultivation, if his appre- 
ciation of the beautiful and his love of the 
good have become paralyzed? 

Is a man whose brain has developed one 
huge money gland for secreting dollars, while 
all his other faculties have died from disuse 
or neglect, a success? Have growth and the 
unfoldment of all the powers nothing to do 
with real success ? Is living in a business rut 
for a quarter or a half century, grasping, el- 
bowing one's way, trampling upon others' 
rights and opportunities, scheming to get 
something away from others, with indiffer- 
ence to their welfare, cherishing only one 
great, grasping motive — getting, getting, ab- 
sorbing — is this real living? Is this charac- 
ter building? 

Is a huge tree trunk with all but one of the 
branches lopped off, and that one developed 



LOVE AS A TONIC 155 

into an enormous monstrosity because of its 
having absorbed all of the sap intended for 
the other branches, a tree? Have symmetry, 
balance, and beauty nothing to do with a per- 
fect tree? Most of us are at best monstrosi- 
ties, with one faculty enormously over-devel- 
oped at the expense of all the others. How 
rare it is to find a fully poised man, one with 
perfectly balanced development of faculty 
and function! 

The best legacy a man can leave his chil- 
dren is the memory and influence of a large, 
broad, finely developed mentality, a well dis- 
ciplined, highly cultured mind, a sweet, beau- 
tiful character which has enriched every- 
body who came in contact with it, a refined 
personality, a magnanimous spirit. 

To leave a clean record, an untarnished 
name, a name which commanded respect for 
honesty and integrity which were above sus- 
picion ; this is a legacy worth while, a wealth 
beyond the reach of fire or flood, disaster or 
accident on land or sea. This is a legacy al- 
lied to divinity. 

To bring your children up to respect them- 
selves, to love the right and hate the wrong, 
to be self-reliant, strong, vigorous and in- 
dependent, to do their own thinking so they 



156 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

may become leaders instead of trailers — that 
is to leave them something worth while. They 
will have power in themselves to help them- 
selves, not imitate or copy, but live their own 
lives and form their own creeds. They will 
not need to apologize or sneak or fawn, but 
stand erect, look the world in the face with- 
out wincing, and feel themselves equal to any 
environment and masters of the situation by 
virtue of their own power. Such a legacy 
will enrich them more than all the millions 
you could amass. 

How many people in this country to-day 
are really ashamed of the father whose money 
they are spending ! They are glad enough to 
get the money, but they do not like to say 
much about their fathers' characters or how 
they acquired wealth. 

Is it not unaccountable how men will strug- 
gle and strive in order to pile up money, to 
accumulate a vast fortune for their children, 
and so coin their own lives, their very life- 
blood, into dollars which they leave to their 
children, often with nothing else — no name, 
no memory which can be revered? Is it not 
strange that fathers will contend and crowd 
so hard for that which is cheap and shallow 
and unsatisfying, and neglect the development 



LOVE AS A TONIC 157 

of the more permanent, more desirable, more 
beautiful and lasting qualities? 

These shrewd, long-headed men know very- 
well that the chances are small that a son will 
develop the power of self-help and self-re- 
liance when everybody is telling him that he 
is a fool to work, that his father is rich, that 
he should just pitch in and have a good time. 
These men know how small are the chances 
of developing that fiber which makes men, 
that stamina which makes character in the 
boy who has a fortune left him; yet many of 
them go blindly on, not seemingly caring any- 
thing about the development of their boys' 
characters — or their own, intent on amass- 
ing fortunes which so often prove the ruin 
of the children who inherit them. 

If one is too large to be measured by the 
dollar-mark, or to be enclosed in his estate; 
if the wealth of his personality has overflowed 
until all his neighbors feel richer for his life 
and example; if every foot of land in his 
community is worth more because he lives 
there, then the loss of his property can not 
materially shrink his inventory. 

If you have learned to be rich without 
money; if you have, by the cultivation of 
your mental powers, gathered to yourself a 



158 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

treasure of indestructible wealth; if, like the 
bee, you have learned the secret of extract- 
ing honey from the thistle as well as from 
the rose, you will look upon your losses as 
mere incidents, not so very important to the 
larger and fuller life. 

It gives a sense of immense satisfaction to 
think that there is something within us greater 
than the wealth we acquire or our material 
pursuits ; that there is something about us 
better than our career, better than living-get- 
ting, money-getting, fame-getting; that there 
is something which will survive the fire, the 
flood, or the tornado which sweeps away our 
property, which will survive detraction, per- 
secution, calumny; something that will out- 
last even the dissolution of the body itself. 
That is, nobility of character, the sweetness 
and light which have helped people, which 
have made the world a little better place to 
live in. 

There is something within us which pro- 
tests against having our most precious pos- 
sessions at the mercy of accident or uncer- 
tainty. We have an innate assurance that, 
no matter what happens, nothing can possibly 
injure our real selves or destroy our greatest 
riches, our grandest possessions. There is a 



LOVE AS A TONIC 159 

still voice within us which tells us that the 
true life is beyond the reach of anything that 
can harm it or rob it of one iota of its sub- 
stance. 

The feeling of serenity, the assurance of 
stability and of possessing that which no 
power can shake, gives a satisfaction beyond 
all words to express, imparting to life its true 
dignity and grandeur. 

Do you not know that the whole creation 
thunders the Ten Commandments ? The very 
atoms seem to have been dipped in a moral 
solution. There is a moral tendency in 
the very nature of things. It looks out 
of the flowers, it shines from the stars. It 
grows in the forest, it waves in the grass, 
it laughs in the harvest. Each form of 
existence brings from the unseen its own 
lesson of wisdom, goodness, power, design, 
and points to something higher than itself, 
the great Author of its magnificence. 

In spite of all the discord, and the sin 
and the suffering about us, we have an in- 
stinctive faith that somehow, somewhere, Na- 
ture will rid herself of the last crime, and re- 
store the lost Paradise of Eden. 



XL KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 




XL KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 

IVE us a man who is not 
easily thrown off his guard, 
or off his balance," is the 
cry when danger threatens. 
The man who can think 
clearly and act wisely when 
others get excited is the man who is every- 
where sought to save the day in a crisis; he 
is always wanted for important positions, be- 
cause, in emergencies, which are always 
likely to arise, everybody feels safer in his 
hands. It is the man who knows what to do 
when others are disconcerted, who is cool 
when others are excited, that is wanted ; the 
man who is not easily flustered when pres- 
sure is brought to bear upon him or when he 
is obliged to assume great responsibility. 

Men who easily lose their heads, and who 
go all to pieces in an accident, or when any 
great strain is brought to bear upon them 
or anything very unusual occurs, are weak- 
lings, and are not to be depended upon in an 
emergency. 

There is something superb, something we 
can not help revering and admiring in a per- 
163 



164 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

son who can stand perfectly calm, unmoved, 
and serene when others become excited, lose 
their heads, and have no control over their 
acts. 

To keep a level head in all circumstances 
and under all conditions, to keep it when 
others lose it, to maintain an even judgment, 
good " horse sense," when others around one 
are foolish, is a difficult thing. It shows a 
great reserve power, that which characterizes 
the poised, self-controlled man. 

What a magnificent example of serenity 
and poise under all conditions we have in the 
iceberg at sea! No matter how hard the 
tempest rages, or how hard the mountainous 
billows dash against its sides, it does not 
tremble or quiver, or give any signs of hav- 
ing been touched, because seven-eighths of its 
enormous bulk is below the surface of the 
water. Its immensity is securely balanced 
down in the calm of the ocean depths, beneath 
the agitation of wave or tempest. It is this 
tremendous reserve below the surface, this 
powerful momentum, which makes the ex-' 
posed part of the iceberg bid defiance to the 
elements. 

One of the most difficult things for a young 
man to do is to keep a level head. It is so 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 165 

easy to lose one's balance, to get a " swelled 
head" over a little prosperity, to lose one's 
ambition for forging ahead by a raise in sal- 
ary. A little ease and comfort are great 
tempters, great destroyers of ambition. 

It is a difficult thing to keep a level head 
when the storms of temptation and financial 
difficulties are raging about one; but it is 
easier than in prosperity. There is some- 
thing in human nature which braces up 
against adversity, which stiffens up when the 
world goes hard and makes one tug the 
harder; but somehow ease, comfort, and the 
thought of prosperity take the spring out of 
the ambition. The motive to push ahead, to 
struggle, to strive, is usually weakened by 
the feeling of satisfaction that one has 
achieved something worth while, that he has 
gained what he started out to get. 

The test of a large, well-balanced man is 
that he does not change materially with 
changed conditions. Financial losses, failure 
in his undertakings, sorrow, do not throw 
him off his balance, because he is centered in 
principle. Nor is he puffed up by a little 
prosperity. 

There is one thing a man ought to be al- 
ways able to do, no matter in what circum- 



166 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

stances he may be placed, and that is, to keep 
on his feet, and, if he falls, to fall on his 
feet, and under no circumstances lose his 
balance. If he can keep calm and act de- 
liberately when others are confused and ex- 
cited, he has a leading part to play in life. 
It gives him a tremendous power in his com- 
munity, because it is the level-headed man, 
who keeps an even keel in any storm, that 
is sought for in great emergencies, looked for 
in the crisis. The shaky man, the waverer, 
the man who is never certain of himself, who 
topples over when the crisis comes, who loses 
his backbone in a panic, is only a fair-weather 
man, and, like a timid girl, could sail a ship 
only on a smooth sea. 

A balanced man has good judgment, and 
this implies symmetry of development of the 
various faculties. And strength of character 
and of mind come from the harmony of 
evenly-developed faculties. 

In a perfectly-balanced mind no one faculty 
is developed out of proportion to the others. 

In a perfectly-adjusted machine every part 
is made with reference to every other part. 
The movement of every wheel in a perfect 
timepiece must be exquisitely adjusted to the 
entire watch, and each must be suited to every 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 167 

other wheel in the watch. You would not 
boast of your watch because it had a very 
powerful mainspring while all the other parts 
were very delicately constructed and were not 
intended for so much power. We value a 
watch in proportion as it keeps perfect time, 
for this is its purpose. 

How rare it is to find among city youth a 
really good business head, well-balanced, nor- 
mal, without any great weakness which cuts 
the average down to mediocrity. A superb, 
well-balanced head, with faculties keen, 
judgment clear and sound, a mind that is not 
made one-sided by prejudice, not weakened 
by superstition, is a rare thing. 

Many youths are one-sided from lack of 
good, sensible, all-round training. Some one 
faculty, which happens to be predominant, is 
forced in its education, and the weaker ones, 
which ought to have exercise in order to keep 
the balance of all the faculties, atrophy from 
disuse. The training and education of the 
great majority of youths are not calculated 
to develop symmetry of faculty, balance of 
mental power. There is a great discrepancy 
between the physical and the mental training ; 
or some one faculty is forced out of all pro- 
portion until the balance is lost. 



168 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The great object of early training should 
be to maintain the balance, to get equipoise of 
faculty, symmetry of evolution, because only 
in this way can good judgment be developed, 
a sound mind produced. For those who have 
not reached maturity, one-sided development, 
forced special training, is one of the greatest 
curses of modern life. No wonder our insane 
asylums are overrun. The one-faculty-devel- 
opment is responsible for a large part of the 
lost balance, the lack of symmetry, the poor, 
weak judgment of many of our people. 

Mental poise indicates power, because poise 
is the result of mental harmony. One-sided 
minds, no matter how brilliant in some par- 
ticular faculty, are never balanced minds, any 
more than a tree is harmonious which has 
sent practically all of its sap, its nourishment, 
into the development of one huge branch, so 
that other parts of the tree have suffered from 
starvation. 

The poised physician or surgeon in a crit- 
ical case where a life hangs in the balance al- 
ways has the advantage of the excitable one 
who is full of fear and loses his head. 

Mental poise gives strength to the lawyer. 
The poise of mind suggests great reserve 
power. It is the lawyer who maintains his 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 169 

equanimity and perfect mental equipoise in 
a great trial, while the little attorneys rant 
and fume, who carries weight with the jury. 

It was Webster's great mental equanimity 
that made him the colossal figure he was in 
the Senate and at the Bar. His conscious- 
ness of great mental power gave him tre- 
mendous advantage over weaker men who 
doubted their ability to cope with him. 

Mental poise gives us a glimpse of the 
possibilities of the coming man, of man when 
all of his faculties shall be symmetrically de- 
veloped, so that his life will express harmony 
instead of discord. 

The greatest forces in the universe are 
noiseless, are perfectly poised. Scientists tell 
us that there is force enough in a few acres 
of growing grass to run all the machinery of 
the world, and yet, like all the other forces 
of nature, it is absolutely noiseless. The most 
delicate ear can not detect any friction, the 
slightest lack of harmony, in the works of 
nature. 

The strongest characters are never noisy. 
They are balanced, poised, serene. The wa- 
ter in a little mountain brook dashing down 
over the rocks will make more noise than the 
mighty Mississippi River. Weak characters, 



170 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

like an empty wagon, are noisy. They fuss 
and fume and accomplish but little. 

The effectiveness of our work depends 
upon all our faculties working in harmony. 
We often see a man without any apparent 
talent or brilliant faculties get ahead much 
faster and succeed much better in life than 
others of apparently greater power, because 
his faculties are in harmony. One does not 
fight against another, neutralize another, or 
counteract its achievements. 

To produce an ideal man capable of bring- 
ing to bear the greatest amount of personal 
power is the great aim of race development. 
This man will be proportionate, symmetrical, 
balanced. Wholeness will be characteristic 
of him. The ultimate aim is not to produce 
the greatest artist, lawyer, merchant, or states- 
man, but the greatest man, — symmetrically 
developed, strong because of the harmony of 
all his faculties. 

It is much better to have mental balance 
than brilliancy. It is better to have com- 
paratively small ability well-balanced, than to 
be a one-sided genius. 

All our faculties are so tied together, so in- 
terrelated that whatever affects one affects all 
the others. The improvement, therefore, of 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 171 

any one quality of the mind, like the improve- 
ment of the judgment, strengthens all the 
other good qualities, whereas the weakening 
of one tends to weaken all the others and to 
lower the standard of the whole. A boy does 
not realize that if he forms the habit of not 
sawing the wood straight or of not driving 
the nail true, or of leaving the sled or the toy 
half finished, this defect will not only drag 
itself all through his career, but will also de- 
moralize all of his other faculties, weaken his 
judgment, affect his industry and his ambi- 
tion, and lower his general standard of life, 
because of this law of interrelationship of 
faculties. 

The boy brought up on the farm has a 
great advantage over the city-bred youth, in 
that he has been compelled to develop com- 
mon sense by exercising his own ingenuity in 
a thousand ways to extricate himself from 
dilemmas in the woods or on the farm because 
there was no possibility of getting help. He 
has been forced to make the sled or the toy 
which he could not afford to buy, and has 
learned to use tools with skill in making and 
repairing things about the farm or the house. 
All these things have tended to develop his 
horse sense. 



172 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

All-around, level-headed men are scarce. 
They are always at a premium. We find many 
splendid men, who are wonderfully compe- 
tent in many faculties, but who are always 
doing strange, unbusiness-like things. Their 
poor judgment is always tripping them up, so 
that their character is like the course of a 
crooked river which often runs back on itself 
in its course through an uneven country. 

The reputation of being erratic or a little 
bit off in your judgment, of doing foolish 
things, so that people can not rely upon you, 
is fatal to advancement. 

If you are onesided, unbalanced, no matter 
how able you may be in some special line, 
sound business men will not care to have 
anything to do with you, for they know you 
might do very foolish things and make serious 
mistakes under pressure and in an emergency, 
just the time when a cool head is needed. 

The country is full of broken, disappointed 
lives, lives that are all tattered and torn, in 
which victories have been swallowed up in 
defeat, effective strokes marred by unfortu- 
nate slips, lives in which there is no well-put- 
VDgether work, but a great ambition coupled 
with a total lack of system and ability to save 
the result of great efforts. 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 173 

There are plenty of these careers that are 
as checkered as a crazy quilt, just because of 
a lack of mental balance and good sense to 
insure continuity. 

Employees are often surprised at the ad- 
vancement to a responsible position of one 
of their number who is less brilliant than 
many others. The employer, however, is not 
looking for brilliancy; but for good sense, 
soundness of judgment, level-headedness. 

The employer in his search for a level- 
headed, practical man, a man who can do 
things, and not merely dream about them, 
often passes by the college graduate, the fine 
scholar, the genius. 

He knows that the stability of his business, 
the bulwark of his establishment, depends 
upon employees with good judgment, good 
horse sense. 

Common sense in practical life has the 
" right of way." It ranks far ahead of bril- 
liancy of education. 

The man who worries, who fusses and 
fumes and who goes to pieces over trifles,' 
exposes his weakness, his lack of self-control. 
It is an indication that he has not discov- 
ered himself, has not come to himself, does 
not know his God-given power, that he has 



174 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

not claimed his birthright of harmony, of 
power, — that he has not discovered that he 
was designed to be prosperous and happy, to 
dominate. It shows that he has conquered 
only a little corner of himself. 

We take it for granted that the man who 
can not control himself can not control oth- 
ers, that he is not suitable for leadership. 

The well-balanced person must have a pro- 
found respect for himself, for if he does not, 
he will do things that are absolutely incon- 
sistent with poise of character. The man who 
does not think well of himself will express in 
his manner uncertainty, doubt, anxiety, more 
or less mental confusion. 

Confidence, a sense of assurance under all 
circumstances, are among the chief consider- 
ations with great business men. We have 
heard bankers and the men at the head of 
great concerns ask about an applicant for an 
important position, " Is he a man you can 
tie to? Has he reserve? Has he courage, 
stamina, staying qualities ? Can you depend 
on him in an emergency? Has he the grit 
that never yields? Has he good, sound prin- 
ciples ? " 

Most young men do not realize how much 
their success depends upon their general repu- 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 175 

tation. It will make all the difference in the 
world to you, my young friend, what people 
think of you, how they estimate your ability, 
what your reputation is for honesty and 
" square dealing," and a good, sound judg- 
ment. 

Your level-headedness and honesty locate 
you in actual life. Every employer is looking 
for men to fill important positions. Capital is 
timid, and is afraid to risk money or mer- 
chandise with a man who is merely brilliant. 
But men who have credit and are in a po- 
sition to help you to capital, are always look- 
ing for hard business sense. If you lack that, 
no matter how smart you may be, how cun- 
ning or shrewd in securing business, or how 
good an advertiser you may be; no matter 
how good a man you may be or how well you 
may stand in your community or your church, 
the capitalist will distrust you. 

One reason why the majority of people 
have such poor judgment, especially employ- 
ees, is because they do not depend upon it. 
Unused faculties never develop any more 
than do unused muscles. The habit of using 
good judgment in everything, no matter how 
trifling, will multiply efficiency a thousand- 
fold. 



176 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

You can get along without a college edu- 
cation, if you must — without a great many 
things, if necessary, — but you can not get on 
in the world without good judgment. 

Multitudes of students are turned out of 
colleges every year with a large amount of 
theoretical knowledge, but they have not had 
a particle of training along the line of good 
judgment. 

We often hear people say that they can 

not understand why Mr. — i has had such 

a mediocre career, or has been a failure, 
when he had such a brilliant mind. But, it 
does not matter how brilliant a man may be, 
if he lacks sound judgment, he is all the time 
queering his own advancement. 

It is the rarest thing in the world for a 
man with good judgment to fail, even if he 
is not brilliant, for though he may make occa- 
sional mistakes, he will get on his feet again. 
But the man who makes brilliant strokes now 
and then, and is all the time slipping up be- 
cause of poor judgment, will not get on 
nearly as rapidly as the one much less bril- 
liant, but with sound judgment. 

No matter how brilliant, men with poor 
judgment are always slipping back and by 
their foolishness losing a large part of what 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 177 

they gained by their brilliancy or their good 
qualities. 

If you want to get the reputation of being 
a level-headed man, you must act like one. 
Most people are constantly doing things — 
especially little things — which do not meet 
with their approval, which they do not con- 
sider the best things to be done, under the 
circumstances, but they do them. In acting 
thus they lessen the probability of domg the 
level-headed thing the next time. 

When we feel strongly impressed to do a 
certain thing, or to do something in a cer- 
tain way, and we do not do it, or else do it in 
some other way than that in which we are 
impressed to do it, we are lessening the prob- 
abilities of our doing the wisest thing in the 
future. 

In other words, if we form a habit of al- 
ways doing the thing we ought to do, doing 
it in the way we honestly believe to be the 
best way, and never allow ourselves to shirk 
responsibility or to fail to do the best thing 
because it interferes with our comfort or lei- 
sure, we shall, after a while, get into the habit 
of doing the wisest thing. 

We constantly hear people make remarks 
like this : " I know that I ought to do this 



178 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

thing to-day, but I do not believe I will," or 
" I do not feel like it." And they, perhaps, 
procrastinate, or let the thing slide along, and 
do just the opposite to what they know they 
ought to do. 

Every one who expects to make the most 
of himself, to make his life a success, must 
take himself in hand just as he would a pupil 
or a child, and, no matter how disagreeable or 
hard it may be, discipline himself to do the 
right thing always, the wisest thing, and not 
let himself off with the easy thing or allow 
himself to do a thing the wrong way. 

A very successful man, who found that he 
was getting into a habit of letting things slide 
along, doing the easiest and putting off the 
hard, difficult thing, suddenly realized that 
if the habit became fixed it would seriously 
handicap his career. He turned completely 
around, forced himself to begin his work 
early in the morning, and always to do what 
he felt that he ought to do and in the way 
which appealed to his best judgment, regard- 
less of whether or not it interfered with his 
leisure or comfort. The result is that within 
a very short time he has made himself a 
strong, vigorous character, and now finds it 
comparatively easy to do what he ought to. 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 179 

But he says that unless he had taken him- 
self in hand, and trained himself as a teacher 
would a pupil, forcing himself to do the right 
thing, the wisest thing, regardless of whether 
it was the easiest or not, he would practically 
have wrecked his career, because he was 
naturally inclined to indolence, and to take 
things easy, to postpone the disagreeable, the 
difficult task, and to do the agreeable, easy 
thing first. 

Great characters have ever felt the neces- 
sity of this stern self-discipline. 

If you always force yourself to do what 
you know you ought to do, instead of listen- 
ing to your inclination, or consulting your 
comfort or convenience, you will very mate- 
rially strengthen your character and your 
judgment, and you will also increase your 
reputation for level-headedness. 

The trouble is that most of us use our sec- 
ond or third best judgment, instead of our 
first, because it often fits our comfort and 
convenience to do so. 

Deplore it as we will, we are most of us 
lazy, and we like to get out of disagreeable 
tasks. We do not like to do things which 
interfere with our comfort, things which tax 
and perplex us. 



180 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Because we have taken the easy road so 
often, most of us have fallen into the habit 
of avoiding the difficult, of shunning the dis- 
agreeable, and of procrastinating, putting off 
the uncomfortable. 

Now, the way to avoid the sting of a net- 
tle is to grasp it vigorously, quickly. The 
way to take the sting out of a disagreeable 
task is to do it quickly, vigorously; not to 
dilly-dally with it, not to play with it and 
torture ourselves, but to get right after it, 
to attack it, wrestle with it, with determina- 
tion to accomplish it. 

Courage is an indispensable quality in our 
success ; but if it is not balanced and regu- 
lated by prudence, cautiousness, it will run 
away with us and lead us into all sorts of 
foolhardy things. Boldness is a great qual- 
ity when it is held in check by proper cau- 
tiousness and guided by good judgment. 

I know a man whose courage is very much 
over-developed and his faculty of caution is 
very deficient. He does not know what fear 
means, and he plunges into all sorts of foolish 
operations which do not turn out well, and he 
is always trying to get out of things which he 
has gone into hastily. If his prudence had 
been equally developed with his courage, with 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 181 

his boldness, he would have made a very 
strong man. 

Even the highest moral faculties, like be- 
nevolence, may ruin a man if he does not have 
good sense. It might lead him to give away 
everything he has, and not even provide for 
his family; and in that way great develop- 
ment, even of the highest faculties, may defeat 
their beneficent ends. I know another man 
who is the perfection of kindness, who would 
do anything to help any one in trouble ; but he 
entirely lacks the restraining, regulating qual- 
ity of prudence, good judgment, and he gives 
away everything he has, and even robs his 
family of the comforts of life. He does not 
mean to, but he is not well-balanced. 

Whatever you believe or do not believe, do 
not get morbid or cranky upon any subject, 
for it is inevitably fatal to advancement. 

Some of the ablest young men and young 
women I know have been fearfully handi- 
capped in their efforts to get on because they 
have developed morbid tendencies. 

People who are carried away with fads and 
fancies, who become morbid and cranky, are 
usually very susceptible to suggestion. If 
there is any new fad that is epidemic in the 
neighborhood, they always catch it. It has 



182 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

its regular run with them like the measles, 
and they are all carried away with it until 
something else takes its place. 

Now, all of these mental peculiarities, 
cranky notions, do not belong with a level 
head. They indicate one-sided development. 
They do not accompany good judgment or 
soundness of mind, and this is why their vic- 
tims are always placed at such a disadvantage. 

Morbid people are narrow. They lack 
breadth, sympathy, generosity. The magnani- 
mous, charitable soul does not think that he 
is right and everybody else is wrong. He 
gives everybody a fair chance. He is chari- 
table and broad and generous towards those 
who differ with him, knowing that he is just 
as liable to be mistaken as they are. 

I know a handsome, splendidly educated 
young lady so morbid on religious subjects 
that she has become a nuisance by always 
harping on religious matters. She is almost 
ostracized from society, and has lost about 
all her friends. She does not realize that 
people do not understand her, and has grown 
so morose and melancholy that her family 
are very much alarmed about her. She has 
a great deal of ability and is extremely at- 
tractive. She is also a fine teacher, and loves 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 183 

to teach, but she can not get a school because 
of these morbid tendencies. And the worst 
of it all is that she has settled down to the 
conviction that she is peculiar, and that she 
can not get rid of these peculiarities. If she 
would only stoutly plan to be normal, and 
persist in being like other people, and not 
allow herself to dwell upon things which 
have been such a serious injury to her, she 
would soon regain her reputation and largely 
overcome her morbid tendencies. But she 
insists upon carrying religious tracts in her 
pocket wherever she goes and handing them 
out to strangers, and especially to those she 
sees under the influence of drink or who 
bear the marks of dissipation, till every- 
body who knows her avoids her, because they 
do not like to enter into unpleasant discussions 
on religious subjects. 

Many people persist in always airing their 
peculiar beliefs, their fads and fancies, at 
every opportunity. Many regard this as a 
sacred duty. They feel that it would be 
cowardly not to declare themselves, or to hide 
their beliefs and theories. 

We are only considering the results of 
morbid tendencies upon one's chances in life. 

The fact is that people are afraid of those 



184 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

who are morbid, because it indicates a lack 
of balance, indicates weaknesses. They are 
prejudiced against all peculiarities, because 
they have in mind the normal standard. 

Employers are always afraid of people with 
morbid minds. They are afraid of personal 
peculiarities that indicate departures from 
the normal. 

I have in mind a man of estimable quali- 
ties, who has gone daft on the subject of 
foods. He is one of the most intelligent men 
I know, but you can not talk with him five 
minutes without his trying to draw you into a 
philosophical discussion of food values, and 
to convince you that the real reason you 
are fat or lean, have dyspepsia, poor sight, or 
rheumatism, is because of too little or too 
much of certain constituents in your foods 
and drinks. 

He will proceed to go into the chemistry 
and the physiology of foods until you will get 
disgusted and leave him, and endeavor to keep 
out of his way in the future. 

Another acquaintance, a man of great abil- 
ity, has become morbid upon the question of 
medicine. Every time you see him he will 
have some new remedy which he believes will 
revolutionize the physical condition of the 



KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD 185 

race, if people would only persist in trying 
it. Yet he came near ruining his own health 
in his experiments, and, although a man of 
great general ability, he carries little weight 
in his community, because everybody points 
to him as a crank. 

A wealthy man refused to pay for a yacht 
built for him not long ago by a boat-builder 
with a great name, because it had too much 
sail for the ballast. The skipper of the boat 
testified at the trial that he did not dare 
put out all the sail, except in moderate 
weather, because of the danger of capsizing. 
The boat was all right in pleasant weather, 
but dangerous in bad weather. 

There are plenty of people like this boat. 
They have too much sail, too little ballast for 
bad weather. They make a big show, lots 
of pretense, but they have no reserve. They 
are not reliable in an emergency. They lack 
stability. 

The great problem of the racing yacht 
builder is to secure the greatest speed con- 
sistent with safety. The lines of the boat 
must not only be constructed so as to cause 
only the least possible resistance to the water, 
but the builder must also provide against the 
possibility of sudden squalls or a heavy sea. 



186 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Every man should Have good sense, good 
judgment, to steady his conduct in any 
emergency, so that he will not lose his head 
and topple over under provocation, but keep 
cool and carry a steady hand, no matter what 
happens. 

The compass of one's judgment must point 
as true in a storm as in the sunshine. 



XII. GETTING THE BEST OUT OF 
EMPLOYEES 




XII. GETTING THE BEST OUT OF 
EMPLOYEES 

HERE are certain plants and 
trees which kill the chances 
of every other growing 
thing in their neighborhood. 
They so poison the soil and 
the air that everything about 
them is stunted, starved, blighted. 

Some employers so poison their environ- 
ment that even the most capable employees 
can not prosper under them. Their atmos- 
phere is so suffocating, so depressing, that 
those about them feel restrained, repressed, 
suppressed. They can not act naturally in 
their presence or do themselves justice. They 
feel nervous and ill at ease. I have known 
of employees who worked years in such an 
atmosphere without getting ahead. They 
thought it was lack of ability that kept them 
down, but when they changed their positions 
and got into a congenial environment, they 
advanced rapidly. They expanded like trop- 
ical plants which had been stunted for a time 
in an arctic climate, but which flourished when 
taken back to their native soil. 

189 



190 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Many employers seem to have a perfect 
genius for dampening the enthusiasm and 
spontaneity of their employees, who shrivel 
and shrink every time they come near them. 
It is impossible to be at one's best in their 
presence. They destroy individuality, hope, 
and courage. They make it very hard for 
their employees to take an interest in their 
welfare, because they belittle them, sgold them, 
and take the heart out of them, all the time. 

Many employers do not praise, upon prin- 
ciple. They think it is very bad for the em- 
ployee; that criticism is much better than ap- 
preciation. Nothing is falser than this idea. 
Some people are so constituted that they live 
upon appreciation and praise. They can not 
do good work without it. They require it as 
a stimulus. There is nothing that the aver- 
age employee will work harder for than com- 
mendation or an expression of appreciation. 
The fact is, there is nothing else which will 
so tie him to his employer as a feeling that 
he is appreciated. Nothing will so enhearten 
him as a word of praise when he tries to do 
his best. 

Do not be afraid to praise heartily. Do not 
give a little pinched, stinted appreciation, as 
though you are afraid you will spoil your em- 



GETTING THE BEST 191 

ployee. Be whole-hearted and generous in 
your praise. You will be surprised to see 
how he will respond. 

Many a successful man and woman have 
found the turning-points of their careers in 
a little praise, a little hopeful encouragement ! 

How many people date their first inspira- 
tion, their first step upward, from an encour- 
aging letter, appreciation of something they 
did, or a word of praise which kindled hope 
or aroused ambition and determination to be 
somebody in the world! 

Clara Morris says that when she was try- 
ing to establish her reputation in New York, 
Mr. Augustin Daly, her manager, used to 
watch her from the audience in order to crit- 
icise her. One evening, after she had had a 
great many discouragements, he came up to 
her and said, " Good girl ! You never did 
better than to-night ! " This kindness at a 
discouraging moment, she says, meant more 
to her than anything else she had ever expe- 
rienced. 

The knowledge that our ability is recog- 
nized makes us think more of ourselves. It 
gives us hope that, after all, there may be 
something for us in the future as well as for 
others who have succeeded. 



192 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The efficiency of employees depends almost 
wholly upon their courage, because, without 
courage, enthusiasm and zest are impossible. 
No one can be original, creative, and prolific 
in his work under fear and suppression. 
Spontaneity is absolutely necessary to the 
best results. If employees are hemmed in, 
watched, suspected, criticised, their work 
must be restricted and of an inferior quality. 
Courage and hope are great elements in pro- 
duction. They are powerful assets in em- 
ployees, which many proprietors entirely cut 
ofT. Things which create antagonism and 
put the employee constantly on the defensive 
suppress individuality, and make him a mere 
machine. There must be freedom or a loss in 
the ideal service. 

Faultfinding is the shortest-sighted policy 
in the world. It does no good. It is energy 
wasted. There is an infinitely better way. 
When a person makes a mistake or does 
wrong, speak to him kindly. It will act like 
magic. And never lose an opportunity for 
showing your appreciation of a good piece 
of work. 

If your employees feel that you do not 
care anything for them, except for what you 
can get out of them, they will feel the same 



GETTING THE BEST 193 

way toward you and only care for their sal- 
aries and for an easy time. 

Their respect and admiration are worth 
everything to you. They hold your success 
or failure largely in their hands. They can 
often turn the tide and make all the differ- 
ence between good fortune and bad. It pays 
to keep employees contented and happy; it 
increases the quality of their service very 
materially. 



XIII. DON'T LET YOUR PAST SPOIL 
YOUR FUTURE 




XIII. DON'T LET YOUR PAST SPOIL 
YOUR FUTURE 

HERE is nothing more de- 
pressing than dwelling upon 
lost opportunities or a mis- 
spent life. Whatever your 
past has been, forget it. If 
it throws a shadow upon the 
present, or causes melancholy or despond- 
ency, there is nothing in it which helps you, 
there is not a single reason why you should 
retain it in your memory and there are a 
thousand reasons why you should bury it so 
deeply that it can never be resurrected. 

Nothing is more foolish, nothing more 
wicked than to drag the skeletons of the past, 
the hideous images, the foolish deeds, the 
unfortunate experiences of yesterday into to- 
day's work to mar and spoil it. There are 
plenty of people who have been failures up 
to the present moment who could do wonders 
in the future if they only could forget the 
past, if they only had the ability to cut it off, 
to close the door on it forever and start anew. 
I know a number of people who complain 
of their fate and hard luck, and what they 
call their " iron " environment, who are, 

197 



198 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

themselves, their worst enemies. Uncon- 
sciously they poison and devitalize the atmos- 
phere of their surroundings by the pictures 
of failure which they are constantly creating 
in their minds. Their pessimism, exhaling 
from every pore, envelops them in a dense but 
invisible atmosphere, through which no ray 
of light or hope can enter, and yet they won- 
der why they do not succeed. They expect 
bright pictures to come from dark ones, hope 
from despair, cheer from gloom. 

These same people would think a farmer 
ridiculous who should sow nettle seeds and 
expect them to produce wheat or corn ; or one 
who should plant the deadly nightshade in his 
garden and hope to see the rose or the lily 
flourish on its stem. They do not seem to ap- 
preciate the fact that, everywhere in the uni- 
verse, like produces like; that, whatever 
thought we sow, we must reap in kind; that 
the sour, gloomy, pessimistic seed sown in 
the garden of the mind must produce its own 
peculiar fruit. Grapes will not grow on 
thorns, or figs on thistles. 

The man or woman who uses up vitality 
in complaining, finding fault with circum- 
stances, kicking against fate, who is always 
protesting that there is no justice in the world 



DON'T SPOIL YOUR FUTURE 199 

that merit is not rewarded, that the times are 
out of joint, and that everything is wrong, is 
put down, and rightly, as a weakling, with a 
small, narrow mind. Large-minded men and 
women do not spend their energies whining. 
If they meet an obstacle they go through it 
and pass on about their business. They know 
that all their time and strength must be con- 
centrated on the work of making a life. The 
whiner not only wastes his time and strength, 
but he prejudices people against him. No 
one feels inclined to help a man who is al- 
ways complaining of conditions and blam- 
ing his " hard luck." Somehow, we have a 
feeling that he does not deserve help, but a 
good scolding instead. 

The practical business man has no sym- 
pathy with the man who claims that he " can 
not get a job." A great many employers 
object to having people around who com- 
plain that " luck has always been against 
them." They fear, and perhaps not without 
reason, that they will create evil conditions. 

I recently heard of a successful English 
politician and business man who advertised 
for a " man," — a combination of valet and 
companion. He had reduced the number of 
applicants for the position to one, and was 



200 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

about to complete arrangements when the 
man began to tell of his career, his ambi- 
tions and misfortunes. It was a genuine 
" hard-luck " story. The politician listened 
for a while and then astonished his would-be 
employee by saying, " I find I do not want 
you." When urged to give his reasons for 
the sudden change in his decision, he replied, 
" I never hire ' hard luck ' people, especially 
the kind who talk about it." 

The successful man's conduct toward the 
unsuccessful one seems cruel and unjust. 
The latter may not have been responsible for 
his " hard luck," and might have made a 
valuable servant. But, putting aside the 
justice or injustice of the prosperous man's 
conduct, the story points the fact that the 
complaining person, the whiner, by his own 
conduct places himself at a fearful disad- 
vantage. Nobody wants the man who poses 
as a victim of " hard luck," who says that 
he " can not get a job." 

Man is so constituted that he does his best 
work when happiest. He is constructed on 
the happiness plan, so that when he is most 
harmonious, he is most efficient. Discord 
is always an enemy to his achievement, as 
well as to his comfort and happiness. It is 



DON'T SPOIL YOUR FUTURE 201 

the greatest whittler away of vitality and 
energy we have. 

When the mind is full of discords', worry, 
and anxiety, when brain and body are out 
of tune, it is impossible even for a genius 
to express the perfect music of a full, free 
life. 

People do not realize how rapidly vitality 
is wasted in friction, in worry and anxiety, 
is harsh, discordant notes which destroy the 
harmony of life. 

How many completely exhaust themselves 
in needless worrying and bickering over 
things which are not worth while! How 
many burn up their life force in giving way 
to a hot temper, in quibbling over trifles, in 
bargain hunting, in systemless work, in a 
hundred ways, when a little thought and at- 
tention to the delicate human instrument on 
which they are playing would prevent all this 
attrition and keep the instrument in splendid 
tune! 

If a young man should draw out of the 
bank a little at a time, the money which he 
had been saving for years for the purpose of 
going into business for himself, and throw 
it away in dissipation, we should regard him 
as very foolish, and predict his failure. But 



202 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

many of us throw away success and happi- 
ness capital just as foolishly, for every bit 
of friction that comes into our lives subtracts 
so much from our success. We can not do 
two things with our energy at the same time. 
If we use it up in friction, we can not ex- 
pend it in effective work. 

"He could not keep himself in tune," 
would be a good explanation of thousands 
of failures. Many of these failures could 
have accomplished great things if they could 
only have kept themselves in harmony, if 
they could only have cut out of their lives 
the friction, the worry and the anxiety which 
whittled away their energy and wasted their 
life forces. 

The keynote of life's harmony is cheerful- 
ness. Every muscle and every nerve must be 
tuned until it responds to that vibration. As 
the piano tuner eliminates the least discord 
in sound, so the coming man will tune out the 
discordant notes of passion, of hatred, of 
jealousy and of worry, so that there shall be 
no inharmony in the instrument. He will 
no more think of starting out in the morning 
to play on the most delicately constructed 
instrument ever made when it is out of tune, 
than a great master musician would think of 



DON'T SPOIL YOUR FUTURE 203 

playing in public on an instrument that was 
out of tune. 

Gloom, despondency, worry about the fu- 
ture, and all discordant passion must be 
tuned out of this life instrument before it 
will express the exquisite melodies, the rav- 
ishing harmonies which the Creator intended 
it to express. 



XIV. ALMOST A SUCCESS 




XIV. ALMOST A SUCCESS 

ANY give up just this side 
of success. They start out 
in life with great enthusi- 
asm, but it generally oozes 
out before they reach their 
goal. All along life's course 
we see people who have fallen out of the 
running at different stages. Men may be in- 
dustrious, honest, enthusiastic, well educated, 
and have had good opportunities, but lack 
persistency and courage, and withdraw from 
the race when the unseen goal is only a little 
ahead. 

How surprised they would be if the veil 
were lifted! But the failure to take the last 
few steps has made all the difference to them 
between failure, or mediocrity, and the longed- 
for success. 

An army which no human being could 
number lies encamped around the great city 
of Success, close to its walls, near to its very 
gates, but it has never entered the city and 
it never will enter it. Thousands of people 
in this great army of the defeated would tell 
you, if questioned, that they never had a fair 

207 



2oS BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

chance, that their education was neglected, 
and they never had any one to favor them. 
Yet many of them were born and reared 
under the shadow of the night schools and 
splendid public libraries, and had all their 
evenings and a great deal of day time at 
their command, while the Abe Lincolns and 
thousands of other poor boys got their edu- 
cation by the light of pine knots before the 
fire in log cabins, or amid other lowly en- 
vironments, and marched past them with 
triumphant step on their way to victory. 

Nearly every successful person has felt, 
during years of struggle and endeavor, that 
he was accomplishing very little, and that 
life might still be a failure. But those who 
have achieved good results kept on trying, 
no matter how dark the night, or how great 
the obstacles. 

There is no genius like that of holding 
on, and making continuous effort under dif- 
ficulties. 

There are a thousand people who have 
talent to one who has grit. Brilliancy gives 
up, and talent gets disheartened before diffi- 
culty and lets go. 

There are some very brilliant men in public 
life who almost do great things, men who 



ALMOST A SUCCESS 209 

raise great expectations in some particular 
line, but who never win out. They remain 
perpetual prospectuses of works which are 
never published. 

I believe that more people fail from the 
lack of staying power than from almost any- 
thing else. 

Many are willing to pay any price to attain 
their ambition, except that of plain, down- 
right hard work. They are willing to ex- 
pend any amount of energy in scheming, in 
cunning devices or short-cuts and abridged 
methods; but the thought of many years of 
tedious, laborious endeavor, the sacrificing of 
a thousand and one little comforts and pleas- 
ures, seems to be too much for them. 

Hosts of people spend many precious years 
trying to find success bargains, marked downs ; 
trying to devise a quicker method than hard 
work. 

Some men have the peculiar faculty of 
putting things through, of getting things 
done, and this is always a sign of strength, 
of creative ability; an indication of leader- 
ship. Almost anybody can start a thing, but 
it is a rare man who can carry everything 
he undertakes to a finish, and it is the finish 
which counts. 



XV. THE BORN LEADER 




XV. THE BORN LEADER 

STRANGER, unfamiliar 
with American methods, on 
going into one of our big 
establishments might get 
the impression that the hun- 
dreds of employees who are 
hurrying and scurrying about, doing a great 
deal of talking and bustling, are responsible 
for the enormous volume of business being 
done. But if he should go into a certain pri- 
vate office in the establishment, he would 
probably find sitting there at his desk, a quiet, 
serene, level-headed man ; a man probably of 
very few words, who dominates and controls 
all the activities of the hundreds or thousands 
of employees. He is the head and center, 
the moving force behind all the hurry, bustle, 
and show. 

The man who aspires to leadership must 
be an organizer. He must not only read men 
like an open book, but also judge accurately 
what to do with them; how to weigh, meas- 
ure, and place them. 

It seems as natural and as easy for some 
people to lead, to command, and to control 
others, as to breathe. There is something in 
213 



214 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

their very personalities that dominates others. 
They are born leaders. They do not need to 
exercise great will-power. They conquer by 
the very force of their presence — their char- 
acter—as Hercules conquered those who 
looked upon his gigantic, powerful figure. 
No matter what situation they are in, they 
dominate. 

Put a lot of strange cattle together and 
they will very quickly decide which is to lead 
the herd. They will lock horns for a while 
and test their strength, but when the leader 
has once asserted himself, by common con- 
sent of the rest, who do not question it after 
the first test, he is master. 

On every board of directors or trustees, 
in every organization of men, there is always 
one who easily overtops the others; there is 
always one man who by tacit consent of all 
the rest is recognized as spokesman, as leader. 

The leader is always characterized by posi- 
tive qualities. He rules by his vigorous af- 
firmatives. There is nothing negative or 
minus about him. The positive man, the 
natural leader, is always assertive, while the 
negative man shrinks, effaces himself, waits 
for some one else to take the initiative. A 
natural leader does not need to urge those 



THE BORN LEADER 215 

under him. They will follow wherever he 
goes. 

A good chess player must be able to see a 
dozen moves ahead. He must keep constantly 
in mind the unexpected, so that he may meet 
every move of his opponent. 

Looking ahead is characteristic of the 
leader. It is the man who can see far into 
the future that is wanted everywhere. The 
man who can provide for the unexpected, for 
the emergency, is the safe man. 

On the other hand, there is such a thing as 
knowing so much and seeing so much that 
it makes one timid about undertaking the 
lead. 

Some one says : " It is generally the man 
who does not know any better who does the 
things that can not be done. You see, the 
blamed fool does not know that it can not 
be done, so he goes ahead and does it" 

Scholarship often kills initiative. Scholars 
are proverbially timid when it comes to great 
undertakings. The man who knows little 
outside of the particular thing he undertakes 
frequently has courage because he does not 
see the risks, the possible dangers of failure, 
of disaster, as clearly as a more intelligent, 
better educated man sees them. His range 



216 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

of vision is narrow; he just sees the step he 
is taking, and so he plunges in with all his 
energy and enthusiasm. 

Everywhere there are men who murder the 
English language every time they open their 
mouths; men who know almost nothing of 
books or schools, who are doing things 
that the college-bred man shrinks from at- 
tempting. 

Whether the leader be educated or unedu- 
cated, he is always able to draw the line be- 
tween theoretical knowledge and practical 
ability. He knows that ability that can not 
be practically applied is useless so far as 
his work is concerned. 

There were many men under General 
Grant who were better educated, more cul- 
tivated, more widely read than he, but who 
could not transmute their knowledge into 
power. On the other hand, what Grant knew 
he could turn to practical use. 

You can not be a general and a private at 
the same time. You must either lead or fol- 
low; you must either make the program or 
help carry it out. You can not do both if 
you expect to do anything big. 

The success of the great general depends 
largely upon his ability to surround himself 



THE BORN LEADER 217 

with a staff of officers who can carry out his 
orders, execute his plans. Grant had many 
officers who could work harder than he, but 
he could outgeneral them all. 

A leader must be a man of prompt de- 
cision. If he vacillates, if he never quite 
knows how to take the next step without con- 
sulting some one else, his followers, his em- 
ployees will soon lose respect for him. 

" You can not do the biggest things in this 
world unless you can handle men, and you 
can not handle men if you are not in sym- 
pathy with them." 

The greatest leaders are those who com- 
bine executive ability with kindness and con- 
sideration. Employees will not only follow 
such a leader, but will also follow him enthu- 
siastically, work for him nights and holidays 
— do anything to help him along. But if 
they see mud at the bottom of his eyes, if he 
lacks the qualities of manhood, if they see 
nothing in him to admire and respect, they 
will follow, if they follow at all, as the slave 
follows his master. 

There is no system, there are no rules of 
business by which a man can force people to 
be loyal to him and enthusiastic for his wel- 
fare. There must be qualities in himself 



218 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

which will call out their voluntary confidence 
and respect. They must see that he is busi- 
nesslike, that he has executive ability, that he 
has the qualities of leadership. Then they 
will follow with zeal and loyalty. 

If you are a leader, an employer in any 
line, it is idle to expect that you can call out 
of your employees qualities which are vastly 
superior to those you possess yourself. The 
very idea of leadership is superiority, force 
of character, executive push, the ability to 
plan and put an undertaking through to a 
finish. 

If you are afraid of making enemies, do 
not try to lead, for the moment you step out 
of the crowd and show originality, individu- 
ality, you will be criticised, condemned, cari- 
catured. It is human nature to throw stones 
at the head lifted above the crowd. 

No great leader ever yet escaped the 
jealousy and envy of those who could not 
keep up with him or do what he did. 

A leader must be positive, aggressive. He 
must have an iron will, an inflexible purpose, 
and boldness bordering on audacity ; he must 
be able to defy criticism without being in- 
sensible or indifferent to it. 

Some of our great leaders have been ex- 



THE BORN LEADER 219 

tremely sensitive in this respect. Criticism 
was very painful to them, yet they had the 
qualities of leadership which urged them on 
in spite of the pain caused by harsh and un- 
just criticisms. Many worthy young men have 
retired from the race for leadership because 
of the sting inflicted by the malice and envy 
of their fellows. They did not think the honey 
worth the sting. 

Large leadership to-day calls for great 
breadth of view, for the same qualities which 
made the leader in the past, but much en- 
larged and developed to meet the needs of 
our time. The vast combinations, the enor- 
mous interests involved in our large concerns 
to-day require colossal leadership. 

" Organization is the one overtowering ne- 
cessity of the times. It comes logically of the 
vast interests put into one business through 
incorporated capital." There never was such 
a demand for leaders, men who can do things, 
as there is to-day. 

One great flaw in the education of the 
young is its failure to develop individuality. 
Boys and girls with the most diverse tastes 
and talents are put through the same cur- 
riculum. The dull boy and the bright boy, 
the dreamy booklover and the matter-of-fact 



220 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

realist, the active, inventive spirit, and the 
one whose soul its attuned to hidden music, 
the youth with the brain of a financier, and 
the one who delights in mimic warfare and 
strategic games — all are put into the same 
mold and subjected to the same processes. 
The result is inevitable. Nine-tenths of the 
children educated in this machine-like fash- 
ion are copies of one another and reproduc- 
tions of the same pattern. Our system of 
education tends to destroy individuality. 

Except in cases where special talents and 
characteristics are so marked that they can 
not be dulled or blunted by any amount of 
conventional training, the collective method 
of education destroys individuality, nips orig- 
inality in the bud, and tends to make the 
child a weakling, or an imitator, instead of 
an original, forceful, distinct entity. 

A great many people remain trailers all 
their lives, followers of others, echoes instead 
of realities, because their distinctive qualities, 
their original powers, were not developed, 
called out, or encouraged in youth. 

What a sorry sight is a man with great 
possibilities of leadership following somebody 
else all his life, seeking the advice of others 
when he is amply able to give it, and never 



THE BORN LEADER 221 

daring to venture on his own judgment, be- 
cause he has always leaned upon others, or 
depended upon some one else to lead the way ! 
His common sense and power of independent 
decision, his strongest inherent qualities, lie 
dormant within him. He is doing the work 
of a pygmy when he has the undeveloped 
capabilities of a giant, all because of a lack 
of proper individual training. 

True education, the education for which 
the world is ripe, is unfoldment, calling out 
the germs of possibilities, developing original 
force, fostering self-reliance, encouraging 
and stimulating initiative power and execu- 
tive ability, cultivating all the faculties, and 
exercising, strengthening, and buttressing 
them. 

We want leaders and originators more than 
we want followers or imitators. We have 
enough, and to spare, of those who are will- 
ing to lean on others. We want our young 
people to depend on themselves. We want 
them to be so educated that their qualities 
of leadership, their originality, and their in- 
dividuality will be emphasized and strength- 
ened instead of obliterated. 

Self-assertion, the spirit of independence, 
the courage, the manhood which respects its 



222 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

own powers and is determined to rely upon 
them, and belief in oneself, the qualities 
which characterize a leader, can be culti- 
vated by every human being. But if these 
qualities are not drawn out in youth they 
may forever lie dormant in the soul. 

Scores of college graduates, who have won 
their diplomas legitimately and honorably, 
fail hopelessly when they attempt to grapple 
with the practical side of life. They have no 
qualities of leadership, no independence of 
thought, and no self-reliance. They are 
stuffed with facts and theories, but their 
executive faculties, their powers of combina- 
tion and assimilation, the qualities which 
grasp and hold and manipulate, all lie dor- 
mant within them. They were not trained 
in boyhood to depend upon their own judg- 
ment, hence it is weak, hesitating, and un- 
certain. Their common sense has never been 
put to the test. They do not know how to 
be aggressive, or how to marshal their facts 
and theories and reduce them to working 
proportions. 

Whatever you learn in school or college, 
remember that it is the executive talent, the 
ability to do things, the power of achieve- 
ment that counts. It is not the great scholar, 



THE BORN LEADER 223 

who is brimful of facts and theories, but the 
practical man, who knows what he ought to 
do and who will do it, who deals with condi- 
tions, not theories, and who can bring about 
results, that is in demand everywhere. 

Education is not a stuffing of the memory 
with facts and theories until it becomes like 
an unwieldy encyclopedia or dictionary that 
can not be handled with ease. A really edu- 
cated man is not loaded down with text-book 
information that he can not put into practice. 
He knows how to utilize every bit of his 
knowledge. His education gives him execu- 
tive power, and makes him master of himself, 
with ability to manipulate perfectly all the 
powers that God has planted in his soul. The 
man who is rightly educated will never be a 
leaner, imitator, or follower. He may not, 
necessarily, be a great leader, but he will not 
seek his opinions from others ; he will trust 
his own judgment, will pilot his own bark, 
no matter how rough or troubled the waters, 
will be himself, and will live his own life, 
wherever his lot may be cast. 



XVI. THE PASSION FOR ACHIEVE- 
MENT 




XVI. THE PASSION FOR ACHIEVE- 
MENT 

HAT are the motives which 
keep men slaving after they 
have acquired a compe- 
tence ? " " Is ambition a 
selfish attribute?" These 
and similar questions are 
very frequently asked. 

The passion for conquest, for power, the 
love of achievement, is one of the most domi- 
nant and persistent characteristics of human 
nature. With most men the bread-and-butter 
and housing problem, the question of getting 
a living, a competence, is only one, and often 
one of the least, of the motives for an active 
career. 

We have an instinctive feeling that we have 
been set in motion by a Higher Power; that 
there is an invisible spring within us — the 
" imperious must " — which impels us to weave 
the pattern given us in the Mount of Trans- 
figuration of our highest moment, to make 
our life- vision real. A divine impulse con- 
stantly urges us to reach our highest ideal. 
There is something back of our supreme 



228 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

ambitior deeper than a mere personal gratifi- 
cation. There is a vital connection between 
it and the great plan of creation, the progress, 
the final goal, of the race. 

Even if dimly, we are conscious that we 
owe something to the world, and that it is 
our duty to pay the debt. There is some- 
thing within which protests against our living 
idle, purposeless lives ; which tells us that our 
debt to the race is a personal one. It tells 
us that our message to humanity is not trans- 
ferable; that we must deliver it ourselves. 
No matter how much money we may have, 
we don't feel quite right unless we are doing 
our part of the world's work. We feel that 
it is mean, contemptible, to be drones in the 
great human hive; to eat, drink, wear, and 
use what others earn by hard labor. We 
have a sneaking feeling that we are criminals ; 
that it is unworthy of us to shirk a manly 
or womanly part in life; it violates our sense 
of justice, of fairness. 

These promptings of humanity and the 
yearning of every normal man and woman 
for a fuller, completer life; the craving for 
expansion, for growth; the desire to objectify 
our life-visions, to give birth to the children 
of our brain, to exercise our inventiveness, 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 229 

our ingenuity, to express our artistic tem- 
perament, our talents, whatever they may be; 
the inherent, instinctive longing to become 
that which we were intended to be ; to weave 
the life-pattern given us at birth — these are 
the impelling motives for a creative career. 

One man expresses himself, or delivers his 
message to humanity, through his inventive 
ability to give his fellow men that which will 
emancipate them from drudgery; another de- 
livers his message through his artistic ability ; 
another through science; another through 
oratory, through business, or his pen, and 
so on through all the modes of human ex- 
pression, each delivers himself according to 
his talent. In every case the highest motive 
is beyond the question of mere living-getting. 

The great artist does not paint simply for 
a living, but because he must express that 
divine thing in him that is struggling for 
expression. He has an unconquerable desire 
to put upon canvas the picture that haunts 
his brain. We all long to bring out the ideal, 
whatever it may be, ' that lives within us. 
We want to see it; we want the world to 
see it. 

It is not so much what men get out of 
their struggles, as the inherent passion in 



230 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

every normal man for self-expression — to do 
the biggest thing possible to him — that urges 
them on. This is what keeps men going, 
always struggling to achieve. 

Some savage tribes believe that the spirit 
of every conquered enemy enters into the 
conqueror and makes him so much stronger. 
It is certain that every business or profes- 
sional conquest, or financial victory, every 
triumph over obstacles, makes the achiever 
so much larger, so much stronger a man. 

The exercise of the creative faculties, the 
stretching of the mind over greater and 
greater problems, and the solving of them, 
constitute a powerful mental tonic and give 
a satisfaction which nothing else gives. 
Think of the tameness, the insipidity, the 
weakness, the mental flabbiness of the life 
of the inactive and purposeless man who has 
nothing special to do, no great life-motive, 
pushing him on, in comparison with that of 
the man who feels all the forces within him 
heaving and tugging away to accomplish a 
mighty purpose! 

The idle, aimless man does not know the 
meaning of personal power or the satisfac- 
tion which comes to the doer, the achiever. 

Those who wonder why men who already 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 231 

have a competence continue to struggle, to 
play the game with as much zeal and ardor 
as ever, when they might retire from the 
field, little realize the tremendous fascination 
of the great life-game, especially for those who 
have artistic talent and those who have the 
ability to do things; men who have great 
executive powers, qualities of leadership. 

With as much reason might we wonder 
why great singers, artists, actors, authors, 
do not retire from active life, give up their 
work when they are at the zenith of their 
power, when they are just in a position to do 
the greatest thing possible to them, as to won- 
der why great business and professional men 
do not retire in the most fruitful period of 
their lives merely because they have attained 
a competence. 

The unborn creatures of the imagination 
of the artist, the author, the actor, the singer, 
struggling for expression, haunt them until 
they are made real. So the ambitions and 
ideals of the business man, the professional 
man, clamor for expression so long as he is 
able to continue in the game. 

Those who have never won big battles in 
business do not realize what a deep hold this 
passion for conquest, this insatiable thirst for 



232 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

victory, gets upon the achiever; how it grips 
him, encourages him, nerves him for greater 
triumphs. 

A great business man develops the lust of 
power, the passion for conquest, as did Na- 
poleon or other great warriors. The desire 
to achieve, to dominate, grows stronger and 
more vigorous with every new victory. 

The ambition for greater achievements is 
fed by every fresh triumph, and the passion 
for conquest, which years of winning and 
the habit of conquering have strengthened, 
becomes colossal, often abnormal, so that men 
who have grown accustomed to wielding 
enormous power shudder at the very thought 
of laying down the scepter. 

Think of the great business potentates of 
our country, whose power governs vast fields 
of activity — think of these men as retiring, 
giving up active life, because they have ac- 
quired a competence! Some of our captains 
of industry, railroad men, bankers, and finan- 
ciers, wield more real power to-day, exercise 
a greater influence upon civilization than 
many European rulers. 

We hear a great deal of criticism of the 
greed of rich men, which keeps them push- 
ing ahead after they have more money than 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 233 

they can ever use to advantage, but the fact 
is, many of these men find their reward in the 
exercise of their powers, not in amassing 
money, and greed plays a comparatively small 
part in their struggle for conquest. Yet this 
is not true of all rich men. Many of them 
are playing the game, and keep on playing it, 
for the love of accumulating. Their selfish- 
ness and greed have been indulged so long 
that they amount to a passion, and the ac- 
cumulators oftentimes become money-mad. 

But the higher type of man plays the game, 
from start to finish, for the love of achieve- 
ment; because it satisfies his sense of duty, 
of justice; plays it because it will make him 
a larger, completer man ; because it satisfies 
his passion for expansion, for growth. He 
plays the game for the training it gives, for 
the opportunity of self-expression. He feels 
that he has a message to deliver to mankind, 
and that he must deliver it like a man. 

The tyranny of habit is also a powerful 
factor in keeping men going. The daily rou- 
tine, the business or professional system, be- 
comes a part of our very nature. When we 
have been going to our office or business at 
just such a time every morning, doing about 
the same things every day for a quarter or 



234 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

half a century, any radical change — a sudden 
cessation of all these activities, a switching 
from the daily use of our strongest faculties 
to comparatively unused ones — is not a pleas- 
ant thing to contemplate, nor an easy thing 
to endure. 

Every normal man has a dread of the 
shrinking and shriveling which inevitably fol- 
low the change from an active to an inactive 
life. He dreads this because it is a sort of 
slow suicide, a gradual atrophy of a talent 
or power which had perhaps been the pride 
of his life. 

There are many reasons why a man should 
not retire when he has a competence. A whole 
life's momentum, the grip of habit, which in- 
creases facility and desire at every repeti- 
tion; strong ties of business or professional 
friendship; and, above all, the passion for 
conquest, for achievement, the love of the 
game, tend to keep him in it. 

It is the love of forging ahead, of pushing 
out into new fields, which has grown to giant 
proportions in the grand struggle for su- 
premacy, the ambition to push on a little 
further, not greed or selfishness, that keeps 
the majority of men in harness. 

The artist, the business or the professional 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 235 

man is much like the hunter, who will en- 
dure all sorts of hardships and privations in 
the pursuit of game but loses all interest in 
it the moment he bags it. 

The love of achievement is satisfied in the 
very act of creation, in the realization of the 
ideal which had haunted the brain. Ease, 
leisure, comfort are nothing compared with 
the exhilaration which comes from achieve- 
ment. 

Who can describe the sense of triumph 
that fills the inventor, the joy that thrills him 
when he sees for the first time the perfect 
mechanism or device — the work of his brain 
and hand — that will ameliorate the hard con- 
ditions of mankind and help to emancipate 
man from drudgery? 

Who can imagine the satisfaction, the hap- 
piness of the scientist who, after years of 
battling with poverty, criticism, and denunci- 
ation, and the tortures of being misunder- 
stood by those dearest to him, succeeds at last 
in wresting some great secret from nature, 
in making some marvelous discovery that will 
push civilization forward? 

The struggle for supremacy — the conquest 
of obstacles, the mastery of nature, the tri- 
umph of ideals — has been the developer of 



236 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

man, the builder of what we call progress. 
It has brought out and broadened and 
strengthened the finest and noblest traits in 
human nature. 

The idea that a man, whatever his work in 
the world, should retire just because he has 
made enough money to live upon for the rest 
of his life is unworthy of a real man, who 
was made to create, to achieve, to go on con- 
quering. 

Every normal human being is born with 
a great sacred obligation resting upon him — ■ 
to use his highest faculties as long as he ;can, 
and to give his best to the world; and the 
laws of his nature and of the universe are 
such that the more he gives to the world, 
the more he gets for himself — the larger, the 
completer man he becomes. But the moment 
he tries to sell himself to selfishness, to greed, 
to self-indulgence, the smaller, meaner man 
he becomes. 

It is no wonder that the man who retires 
merely for selfish gratification is uneasy, un- 
happy, and is sometimes driven to suicide. 
He knows in his heart that it is wrong to 
withdraw his great productive, creative abil- 
ity from a world which needs it so much. 
He knows that it is a sin against his own 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 237 

development, his own future possibilities, to 
cease the exercise of his Godlike powers. 

It is the wrestling with obstacles and the 
overcoming of difficulties that have made 
man a giant of achievement. 

If we could analyze a strong, vigorous 
character, we should find it made up largely 
of the conquering habit, the habit of over- 
coming. On the other hand, if we should 
analyze a weak character we should find just 
the reverse — the habit of failure, the habit of 
letting things slide, of yielding instead of con- 
quering — the lack of courage, of persistency, 
of grit. 

There is the same difference between a 
self-made man, who has fought his way up 
to his own loaf, and the pampered youth who 
has never been confronted by great respon- 
sibilities that would exercise his powers and 
call out his reserves, that there is between 
the stalwart oak which has struggled for its 
existence with a thousand storms, with all 
the extremities of the elements, and the hot- 
house plant which has never been allowed to 
feel a breath of frost or a rough wind. 

Every bit of the oak's fiber has registered 
a victory, so that when its timber is called 
upon to wrestle with storms and the fury of 



238 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

the sea, it says, " I am no stranger to storms ; 
I have met them many a time before. I 
feel within me stamina and fiber to resist 
the fury of any sea, because I have fought 
and overcome its equal a thousand times." 

The hothouse plant succumbs to the first 
adverse wind. 

Responsibility is a powerful developing 
factor of which the idle, aimless person never 
gets the advantage. Great responsibilities 
bring out great reserves to match them. 

The consciousness of having a message for 
mankind has held multitudes of people to 
their ideals, amidst suffering, hardship, and 
overwhelming difficulties. 

Every normal human being is happiest as 
well as strongest when active, especially 
when doing that which he was intended to 
do, that which he is best fitted to do; when 
he is trying to make real the vision of his 
highest moment. He is weakest and most 
miserable when idle, or doing that which he 
is least fitted for by nature. 

The divine discontent which all aspiring 
souls feel is a longing for growth, for a 
realization of possibilities. It is the call of 
the potencies within us to do, to be; the 
longing for that expansion and power which 



PASSION FOR ACHIEVEMENT 239 

can only come from healthful, vigorous ac- 
tivity in pursuit of a worthy aim. 

There is no mental tonic, no physical stim- 
ulus like that which comes from the con- 
sciousness of growing larger, fuller, com- 
pleter each day in the pursuit of one's chosen 
work. 

The passion for conquest, the conquering 
faculty which we all have — that something 
within us which aspires — becomes strong and 
powerful just in proportion as it has legiti- 
mate exercise and encouragement, so that 
every feeling out and stretching of the mind, 
every exercise of the faculties to-day makes 
a larger to-morrow possible. 



XVII. FUN IN THE HOME 




XVII. FUN IN THE HOME 

[HAT makes you Ameri- 
cans hurry so? "asked a dis- 
tinguished foreigner, on visit- 
ing this country. " This is 
not living, it is merely exist- 
ing." 

The American people as a rule take life 
too seriously. They do not have half enough 
fun. Europeans look on our care-worn, sol- 
emn-faced people as on pieces of machinery 
run at forced speed and which squeak for 
lack of oil. 

Life has become so strenuous in this coun- 
try that even Edward Everett Hale, late chap- 
lain of the United States Senate, was allowed 
only one minute for prayer, excepting on 
extraordinary occasions. 

With us the hurry habit has become al- 
most a disease. We get so accustomed to 
the American pace that we can not slow 
down, even when we are not in a hurry. Our 
movements, habits, and manners give us the 
appearance of always being in a rush, and 
we hurry even when on a vacation. 

Many people do not seem to know how to 

243 



244 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

let themselves out unreservedly in their play. 
The ghost of worry or anxiety is nearly al- 
ways present to mar their enjoyment, or they 
fear that it would not be dignified for a man 
to act like a boy. This keeps many men 
from getting the best out of their recreation. 
When in the country, they could derive a 
good lesson in healthful abandon from the 
young cattle or colts when they first leave the 
barn in the spring and are turned out to pas- 
ture. How they kick up their heels, as 
though they delighted in mere existence! 

Notwithstanding the fact that the country 
has so many natural advantages of pure air, 
stimulating scenery, fresher and more health- 
ful food, and freedom from the racking 
noises of the city, city dwellers, as a rule, 
do not age so rapidly and are much more 
cheerful than farm dwellers. 

The reason for this is found in the fact 
that there are so many more facilities for 
amusement in the city than in the country. 
People who live in congested districts feel 
the need of amusement; they are hungry for 
fun; they live under strong pressure and 
they take every opportunity for easing the 
strenuousness of their lives. This is why 
humorous plays, comic operas, and vaude- 
ville performances generally, no matter how 



FUN IN: THE HOME 245 

foolish, silly, or superficial, are always well 
patronized. City people laugh a great deal 
more than country people, and everybody 
knows that laughter is a refresher, a rejuve- 
nator, a success factor. They must unbend, 
and this fun-seeking has a great deal to do 
with keeping city people young and fresh 
after youth has passed. 

What is needed is more play every day, 
play mixed w T ith work. Don't take your vo- 
cation so seriously. Do not let a spurious 
" culture " keep you from laughing out loud, 
or from giving yourself up with abandon to 
the fun-loving instinct. 

A cheerful disposition that scorns every 
rebuff of fortune and laughs in the face of 
disaster is a divine gift. " Fate itself has to 
concede a great many things to the cheerful 
man." To be able to laugh away trouble is 
greater fortune than to possess the mines of 
King Solomon. It is a fortune, too, that is 
within the reach of all who have the courage 
and nobility of soul to keep their faces turned 
to the light. 

As a rule, lovers of humor, great story- 
tellers and jokers have a wonderful power of 
self-refreshment and retarding old age. Peo- 
ple who seldom laugh, people who can not 
appreciate a joke, age much faster. 



246 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

An aged person ought to be serene and 
calm and balanced. All of the agitations and 
perturbations of youth ought to have ceased. 
A sweet dignity, a quiet repose, a calm ex- 
pression should characterize people who are 
supposed to have had all that is richest and 
best out of the age in which they lived; but 
quite the contrary is true. In a restaurant, 
recently, I saw an old man who was so nerv- 
ous that he could scarcely eat. He was con- 
stantly drumming on the table with his 
fingers, taking hold of things and dropping 
them, twitching his elbows and his knees and 
moving his feet. Yet he was drinking the 
strongest coffee in order to quiet his nerves. 
It was really pitiable to see an old man who 
ought to be the very embodiment of wisdom, 
of dignity, and of repose, fidgeting as though 
he had Saint Vitus's dance, with no serenity, 
no balance, no physical poise. 

In ancient Germany there was a law 
against joking. " It makes my men forget 
war," said the king. Sad, serious faces are 
seen everywhere in Christendom, " lest they 
forget" business, dollar-chasing. 

When Denys, the light-hearted soldier of 
fortune in Charles Reade's " The Cloister and 
the Hearth," saw a friend with the blues or 



FUN IN THE HOME 247 

discouraged, he used to say: "Courage, 
comrade, the devil is dead!" 

This is a good motto to adopt. Always 
take it for granted that the devil, personify- 
ing everything that is bad, disagreeable, and 
injurious, is dead. 

To ignorant, superstitious people the devil 
is very much alive. He has the whisk of his 
tail in all their amusements. But to people 
who have their eyes open, who think, the 
devil is dead. 

Whatever your lot in life, keep joy with 
you. It is a great healer. Sorrow, worry, 
jealousy, envy, bad temper, create friction 
and grind away the delicate human machin- 
ery so that the brain loses its cunning. 

Half the misery in the world would be 
avoided if people would make a business of 
having plenty of fun at home, instead of run- 
ning everywhere else in search of it. 

" Now for Rest and Fun." " No Business 
Troubles Allowed Here." These are good 
home-building mottoes. 

When you have had a perplexing day, 
when things have gone wrong with you and 
you go home at night exhausted, discouraged, 
blue, instead of making your home miser- 
able by going over your troubles and trials, 



248 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

just bury them; instead of dragging them 
home and making yourself and your family 
unhappy with them and spoiling the whole 
evening, just lock everything that is disagree- 
able in your office. 

I know a man who casts such a gloom over 
his whole family, and so spoils the peace of 
his home by insisting upon talking over all his 
business troubles, that his wife and children 
fairly dread to see him come home, because, 
when they see the thunder-cloud on his face, 
they know that their fun for the evening will 
be spoiled. 

Just resolve that your home shall be a 
place for bright pictures and pleasant mem- 
ories, kindly feelings toward everybody and, 
as Mr. Roosevelt says, " a corking good 
time " generally. |If you do this, you will 
be surprised to see how your vocation or 
business wrinkles will be ironed out in the 
morning and how the crooked things will be 
straightened. 

Make a business of trying to establish a 
model home, where every member of your 
family will be happy, bright, and cheerful 
Fill it with bright, cheerful music. Phy- 
sicians are employing music more and more 
because of its wonderful healing properties. 



FUN IN THE HOME 249 

If there are no musicians in your family, get 
a graphophone, a piano-player, or some other 
kind of automatic musical instrument. There 
is nothing like music to cheer up and en- 
liven the home and to drive dull care, the 
blues, and melancholy away. 

Music tends to restore and preserve the 
mental harmony. Nervous diseases are won- 
derfully helped by good music. It keeps 
one's mind off his troubles, and gives nature 
a chance to heal all sorts of mental discords. 

You will find that a little fun in the even- 
ing, romping and playing with the children, 
will make you sleep better. It will clear the 
physical cobwebs and brain-ash from your 
mind. You will be fresher and brighter for 
it the next day. You will be surprised to see 
how much more work you can do, and how 
much more readily you can do it if you try 
to have all the innocent fun you can. 

We have all felt the wonderful balm, the 
great uplift, the refreshment, the rejuvena- 
tion which have come from a jolly good time 
at home or with friends, when we have come 
home after a hard, exacting day's work, when 
.our bodies were jaded and we were brain- 
weary and exhausted. What magic a single 
ho r's fun will often work in a tired soul ! 



250 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

We feel as though we have had a refreshing 
nap. iHow a little fun releases us from 
weariness, and sends a thrill of joy and up- 
lift through the whole being! 

Laughter is as natural a form of expres- 
sion as music, art, or work of any kind. We 
can not 1 be really healthy without a lot of 
fun. 

There is something abnormal, something 
wrong in the parent who is annoyed by the 
romping, the playing, the laughter of chil- 
dren. The probabilities are that his own 
child-life was suppressed. The man who 
would not grow old must keep in touch with 
young life. 

Do not be afraid of playing in the home. 
Get down on the floor and romp with the chil- 
dren. Never mind the clothes, the carpets, 
or the furniture. Just determine that you will 
put a good lot of fun into your life every 
day, let come what will. 

Have all the fun you can at the table. It 
is a place for laughter and joking. It is a 
place for bright repartee. Swallow a lot of 
fun with your meals. The practice is splen- 
did. It is the best thing in the world for 
your health. It is better than swallowing 
dyspepsia with every mouthful of food. The 



FUN IN THE HOME 251 

meal time ought to be looked forward to by 
every member of the family as an occasion 
for a good time, for hearty laughter, and for 
bright, entertaining conversation. The chil- 
dren should be trained to bring 'their best 
moods and say their brightest and best things 
at the table. If this practice were put in 
force it would revolutionise American homes 
and drive the doctors to despair. 

I know a family in which joking and funny 
story telling at meals has become such an 
established feature that it is a real joy to 
dine with them. The dinner hour is sure to 
afford a jolly good time. There is a rivalry 
among the members of the family to see who 
can say the brightest, wittiest thing, or tell 
the best story. There is no dyspepsia, no 
nagging in this family. 

i A few hours of sunshine will do for plants 
what months of cloudy weather could never 
do. It is the sunshine that gives the deli- 
cate, inimitable tint of beauty to fruit and 
flower. We all require mental sunshine. 

I have been in homes that were so somber 
and sad and gloomy that they made me feel 
depressed the moment I entered them. No- 
body dared to say his soul was his own, and 
to laugh out loud was regarded almost as a 



252 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

misdemeanor. If the children made any 
noise they were told to stop, sit down, hush 
up, or be quiet. Everybody who attempted to 
have a little fun was promptly squelched. 
One felt, even though it was not seen, that 
this sign was everywhere about the house: 
" No joking allowed here. Laughter for- 
bidden. No romping or playing here. Life 
is too short and too serious a matter for such 
frivolity. Besides, the furniture might be 
scratched, bric-a-brac might be broken, or 
the children's clothes soiled or rumpled." 

A little while ago I was a guest in the 
home of a large family where the mother 
was of the nervous, fretful, trouble-borrow- 
ing kind of women, who neither enjoys her- 
self nor will let others enjoy themselves. 
There was scarcely five minutes during my 
stay that she was not correcting, repressing, 
scolding, or nagging one of the children. It 
did not seem to make any difference what 
they were doing, she would tell them not to 
do it. If a child stood in an open doorway 
or near an open window, she was sure he 
would "get his death of cold." He must 
not eat this, he must not make a noise, he 
must not play; he must not do this, and he 
must not do that. 



FUN IN THE HOME 253 

She kept on repressing* her children in this 
manner throughout the evening, until they 
were very nervous and fretful. The result 
of this constant repression is that there is 
not a really normal child in the family. There 
is a sort of hungry, unsatisfied look in the 
faces of every one of them. They give one 
the impression that they long to get away 
from their mother and to let themselves out 
in laughter and play to their heart's content. 

It is worse than cruel, it is a crime to 
crush the childhood out of any life, to sup- 
press the fun-loving instinct, which is as 
natural as breathing, for no wealth or luxur- 
ies in later life can compensate for the loss 
of one's childhood. 

We have all seen children who have had no 
childhood. The fun-loving element has been 
crushed out of them. They have been re- 
pressed and forbidden to do this and that so 
long that they have lost the faculty of hav- 
ing a good time. We see these little old men 
and women everywhere. 

Children should be kept children just as 
long as possible. What has responsibility, 
seriousness, or sadness to do with childhood? 
We always feel indignant, as well as sad, 
when we see evidences of maturity, over- 



254 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

seriousness, care or anxiety, in a child's face, 
for we know some one has sinned somewhere. 

The little ones should be kept strangers to 
anxious care, reflective thoughts, and sub- 
jective moods. Their lives should be kept 
light, bright, buoyant, cheerful, full of sun- 
shine, joy, and gladness. They should be 
encouraged to laugh and to play and to romp 
to their heart's content. The serious side 
of life will come only too quickly, do what 
we may to prolong childhood. 

One of the most unfortunate things I know 
of is the home that is not illuminated by at 
least one cheerful, bright, sunny young face, 
that does not ring with the persistent laugh- 
ter and merry voice of a child. 

No man or woman is perfectly normal who 
is distressed or vexed by the playing of chil- 
dren. There was something wrong in your 
bringing up if it annoys you to see children 
romping, playing, and having a good time. 

If there is a pitiable sight in the world, it 
is that of parents always suppressing their 
children, telling them not to laugh, or not to 
do this or that, until the little things actu- 
ally lose the power of natural expression. Joy 
will go out of the life when continually sup- 
pressed. 



FUN IN THE HOME 255 

The first duty we owe a child is to teach 
it to express itself, to fling out its inborn 
gladness and joy with as much freedom as 
the bobolink when it makes the whole mea- 
dow glad with its song. Laughter, absolute 
abandon, freedom, and happiness are essen- 
tial to its health and success. These are a 
part of its nature. It can not be normal 
without them. 

Suppression of the fun-loving nature of a 
child means the suppression of its mental 
faculties. The mind will not develop nor- 
mally under abnormal conditions. There is 
every evidence in a child's nature that play 
is as necessary to its normal, complete devel- 
opment as food, and if the fun-loving facul- 
ties are suppressed, the whole nature will be 
strangled. Play is as necessary to the per- 
fect development of a child as sunshine is to 
the perfect development of a plant. The 
childhood that has no budding and flower- 
ing, or only a partial unfolding of its 
petals, will have nothing but gnarled and 
pinched fruitage. The necessity for play 
in the very beginning of a child's develop- 
ment is shown by the fact that the instinct 
to play is so strong in all young life, includ- 
ing the entire animal kingdom. 



256 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

Most homes are far too serious. Why not 
let the children dance and play to their 
heart's content*? They will get rubs enough, 
knocks enough in the world; they will get 
enough of the hard side of life later. Re- 
solve that they shall at least be just as happy 
as you can make them while at home, so that 
if they should have unfortunate experiences 
later, they can look back upon their home as 
a sweet, beautiful, charming oasis in their 
life; the happiest spot on earth. 

Let them give vent to all that is joyous and 
happy in their natures, and they will blossom 
out into helpful men and women instead of 
sedate, suppressed, sad, melancholy natures. 
Spontaneity, buoyancy, the bubbling over of 
animal spirits are worth everything in one's 
education. Children who are encouraged in 
self-expression of their play instinct will 
make better business men, better professional 
men, better men and better women in any 
walk of life. They will succeed better and 
have a better influence in the world than 
those who are repressed. 

Only the happiest children can make the 
happiest and most useful citizens. You 
can not give children too much heart sun- 
shine, too much love. They thrive on fun. 



FUN IN THE HOME 257 

It is their normal food and the home is the 
place above all others where they should get 
an abundance of it. Some one has said that 
if you want to ruin your children let them 
think that all mirth and enjoyment must be 
left on the threshold when they come home at 
night. When once the home is regarded only 
as a place in which to eat, drink, and sleep, 
the work is begun which often ends in degra- 
dation. 

Children who have no childhood often de- 
velop hard, cold, unsocial dispositions which 
are a great handicap to their success later in 
life. 

A happy childhood is an imperative prepa- 
ration for a happy maturity. The disposition, 
the cast of mind, the whole life tendencies are 
fixed in childhood. An early habit of cheer- 
fulness — the fun-loving habit — has a power- 
ful influence over the mature man and his 
career. 

A happy childhood is the best possible pro- 
tection against ill-health, unhappiness, and 
failure; the best possible protection against 
development of handicapping peculiarities, 
idiosyncrasies, and even insanity. A large per- 
centage of the people in the insane asylums 
did not have a happy childhood. 



258 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

It is of immense importance to teach chil- 
dren to avoid unpleasant, disagreeable, soul- 
harrowing books. Keep them from reading 
morbid stories, morbid descriptions of crime 
and misery in the newspapers. Do not let 
these black pictures etch their hideous forms 
into their tender, sensitive minds. 

Children should be taught the art of get- 
ting enjoyment out of the common things of 
life. This will prevent the development of 
a restless tendency, a disposition always to 
think that they would be happier if they were 
only somewhere else, under other conditions. 

If you want your children to be well, strong, 
and happy, try to cultivate the sense of hu- 
mor, the fun instinct, in them just as much as 
possible. Teach children to laugh at their 
misfortunes and to see the ludicrous side of 
unpleasant things which can not be avoided 
or ignored. 

" Mirth is God's medicine ; give the children 
a lot of it." 
( Blessed indeed are the Joy Makers. 

I once knew a little girl who was so happy 
that she asked her mother if she could say 
" Good-morning " to God. She used to say 
" Good-morning " to her canary, and " Good- 
morning " to the sun, and she naturally 



FUN IN THE HOME 259 

thought, and rightly, that she ought to say 
" Good-morning " to her Creator. 

All the members of the mental family, all 
our faculties, are dependent upon their har- 
mony for their helpfulness and efficiency. If 
they are unhappy their efficiency is seriously 
impaired. Discouragement, worry, anxiety, 
fear, anything which makes them abnormal, 
practically ruins their efficiency. 

On the other hand, whatever tends to en- 
couragement, to cheerfulness and good hu- 
mor, whatever brightens hope and brings good 
cheer, multiplies their efficiency. 

There is no other one thing which so buoys 
up the faculties and refreshes the whole man 
as good, innocent fun. The enormous suc- 
cess of the theatrical business is based largely 
upon the instinctive demand in human na- 
ture for amusement. 

When this demand in us is gratified, the 
whole man is improved, enlarged; is more 
healthy, more efficient, more normal; but 
when it is denied, as it was among many of 
the Puritians in our early history, there is a 
famine in the nature, the faculties shrivel, 
and the whole character deteriorates. 

It is a great thing to encourage fun in the 
home. There is nothing like a fun-loving 



260 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

home. It keeps children off the street, it dis- 
courages vice and all that is morbid. The 
fun-loving faculties in many children are 
never half developed; hence the melancholy 
traits, the tendency to sadness, moroseness, 
morbidness, which we see in men and women 
everywhere. These are not normal. They are 
indications of stifled, suppressed, dwarfed 
natures. 

Many parents have a great idea of being 
stern, not realizing that suppression means 
strangling growth, stifling aspiration, dwarf- 
ing ideals. There can be no real growth, en- 
largement of faculties, where there is no free- 
dom of expression. 

The child that has been trained to be happy, 
that has been allowed free expression to his 
fun-loving nature, will not have a sad or 
gloomy disposition. Much of the morbid 
mentality which we see everywhere is due to 
stifled childhood. 

Soul sunshine keeps everything within us 
sweet, pure, like the material sun which de- 
stroys the miasma. It antidotes the poisons 
caused from worry, jealousy, and the explo- 
sive passions. It preserves us from becom- 
ing soured on life. 



FUN IN THE HOME 261 

A pessimistic, crotchety disposition, a fault- 
finding, finical, disagreeable mind sours every- 
thing in life. Pessimism is darkness. Things 
do not thrive or ripen, become sweet or beau- 
tiful, in the dark. It requires the sun of op- 
timism to bring out soul-beauty and to ripen 
and sweeten the juices of life. The tend- 
ency of pessimism is to sour, to distort one's 
way of looking at things. 

What makes us happiest makes us most 
efficient. Happiness is the great lubricator 
of life which keeps the wheels from creak- 
ing, which prevents the grinding, wearing ef- 
fect caused by discord. 

How much stronger, clearer brained, and 
more efficient we feel after we have had a 
real jolly good time! How it refreshes, re- 
news, and restores our flagging energies! 

If you carry about a gloomy face, you 
advertise the fact that hope has died out of 
you; that life has been a disappointment to 
you 

The habit of frequent and hearty laughter 
will not only save you many a doctor's bill, 
but will also save you years of life. 

Laughter is a foe to pain and disease, a 



262 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

sure cure for the blues and melancholy. Be 
cheerful and you will make everybody around 
you happier and healthier. 

Laughter and good cheer make love of 
life, and love of life is half of health. 

Laughter keeps the heart and face young 
and enhances physical beauty. 



XVIII. NEGLECT YOUR BUSINESS 
BUT NOT YOUR BOY 




XVIII. NEGLECT YOUR BUSINESS 
BUT NOT YOUR BOY 

VERY boy is going to have 
a confidant, some one to 
whom he can tell his secrets 
and whisper his hopes and 
ambitions which he would 
not breathe to others. We 
take it for granted that his mother will stand 
nearer to him than any other person, but 
every boy will have some male friend who 
will stand in a peculiar relation to him. This 
friend, this confidant, should be his father. 

You can not afford to have your boy feel 
that you are too busy or too indifferent to 
tell him how to fly his kite or bait his hook 
or make a toy, or to play games with him. 

If you begin early enough, it is compara- 
tively easy for you to gain your boy's confi- 
dence. From infancy, he should grow up to 
feel that no one else can take your place; 
that you stand in a peculiar relation to him, 
which no one else can fill. 

Any business man would be horrified at the 
suggestion that he would ruin his boy by 
neglect, that his absorption in business would 

265 



266 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

result in the undoing of his own son. But, it 
is the easiest thing in the world to forfeit a 
boy's confidence. It will take only a little 
snubbing, a little scolding, a little indifference, 
a little unkind criticism, a little nagging and 
unreasonableness to shut off forever any in- 
timacy between you and your boy. 

One of the bitterest things in many a busi- 
ness man's life has been the discovery, after 
he has made his money, that he has lost his 
hold upon his boy, and he would give a large 
part of his fortune to recover his loss. 

I have been in homes where the relation be- 
tween father and sons was so strained and 
formal that the latter would no more think 
of making a confidant of their father than 
they would of a perfect stranger. They have 
been so rebuffed, snubbed, and scolded, so un- 
kindly treated, that they would never think 
of going to him for advice, or with any con- 
fidential matters. 

It is a most unfortunate thing for a boy 
to look upon his father as a task-master in- 
stead of a companion, to dread meeting him 
because he always expects criticism or scold- 
ing from him. 

Some fathers constantly nag, find fault, and 
never think of praising their sons or express- 



DON'T NEGLECT YOUR BOY 267 

ing any appreciation of their work, even when 
they do it well. Yet there is nothing so en- 
couraging to a boy, especially if he finds it 
hard to do what is right, as real appreciation 
of his effort. This is a tonic to youth. Boys 
thrive on praise. This is why most of them 
think more of their mothers than their fathers 
— because their mothers are more consider- 
ate, more appreciative, more affectionate, and 
do not hesitate to praise them when they do 
well. They are naturally more generous 
with them ; less exacting than their fathers. 

I know a man who takes a great deal of 
pains to keep the confidence of his pet dog. 
He would not think of whipping or scolding 
him because he would not risk losing his 
affection, but he is always scolding his boy, 
finding fault with everything he does, crit- 
icising his conduct, his associates, and telling 
him that he will never amount to anything. 
Now, what chance has a boy to grow, to 
develop the best thing in him, in such an at- 
mosphere ? 

You should regard the confidential relation 
between yourself and your son as one of the 
most precious things in your life, and should 
never take chances of forfeiting it. It 
costs something to keep it, but it is worth 



268 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

everything to you and to the boy. I never 
knew a boy to go very far wrong who re- 
garded his father and mother as his best 
friends, and kept no secrets from them. 



XIX. MOTHER 




XIX. MOTHER 

LL that I am or hope to be," 
said Lincoln, after he had be- 
come President, " I owe to 
my angel mother." 

" My mother was the mak- 
ing of me," said Thomas Ed- 
ison, recently. " She was so true, so sure of 
me; and I felt that I had some one to live 
for; some one I must not disappoint." 

" All that I have ever accomplished in life," 
declared Dwight L. Moody, the great evan- 
gelist, " I owe to my mother." 

" To the man who has had a good mother, 
all women are sacred for her sake," said Jean 
Paul Richter. 

The testimony of great men in acknowl- 
edgment of the boundless debt they owe to 
their mothers would make a record stretch- 
ing from the dawn of history to to-day. 
Few men, indeed, become great who do not 
owe their greatness to a mother's love and 
inspiration. 

How often we hear people in every 
walk of life say, " I never could have done 
this thing but for my mother. She be- 
lieved in me, encouraged me, when others 
saw nothing in me." 

271 



272 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

"A kiss from my mother made me a 
painter," said Benjamin West. 

A distinguished man of to-day says : " I 
never could have reached my present position 
had I not known that my mother expected 
me to reach it. From a child she made me 
feel that this was the position she expected 
me to fill ; and her faith spurred me on and 
gave me the power to attain it." 

Many a man is enjoying a fame which is 
really due to a self-effacing, sacrificing 
mother. People hurrah for the governor, or 
mayor, or congressman, but the real secret 
of his success is often tucked away in that 
little unknown, unappreciated, unheralded 
mother. His education and his chance to 
rise may have been due to her sacrifices. 

It is a strange fact that our mothers, the 
molders of the world, should get so little 
credit and should be so seldom mentioned 
among the world's achievers. The world sees 
only the successful son; the mother is but 
a round in the ladder upon which he has 
climbed. Her name or face is never seen 
in the papers; only her son is lauded and 
held up to our admiration. Yet it was that 
sweet, pathetic figure in the background that 
made his success possible. 



MOTHER 273 

The very atmosphere that radiates from 
and surrounds the mother is the inspiration 
and constitutes the holy of holies of family 
life. 

" In my mother's presence," said a promi- 
nent man, " I become for the time transformed 
into another person." 

How many of us have felt the truth of this 
statement ! How ashamed we feel when we 
meet her eyes, that we have ever harbored 
an unholy thought, or dishonorable sugges- 
tion ! It seems impossible to do wrong while 
under that magic influence. What revenge- 
ful plans, what thoughts of hatred and jeal- 
ousy, have been scattered to the four winds 
while in the mother's presence ! Her children 
go out from communion with her resolved 
to be better men, nobler women, truer citi- 
zens. 

The greatest heroine in the world is the 
mother. No one else makes such sacrifices, 
or endures anything like the suffering that 
she uncomplainingly endures for her chil- 
dren. 

I know a mother who has brought up a 
large family of children under conditions 
which, I believe, no man living could possi- 
bly have survived. She had a lazy, worthless 



274 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

husband with no ambition, no force of char- 
acter; a man extremely selfish and exacting, 
who not only did practically nothing to help 
his wife carry her terrible burden, but also 
insisted upon her waiting upon him by inches. 
They were too poor to afford a servant, 
and the good-for-nothing husband would not 
lift a finger to help his wife if he could avoid 
it; yet he was cross, crabbed, and abusive if 
meals were not on time, and if they were 
lacking in any respect, or if the children an- 
noyed him or interfered with his comfort. 
Although the mother worked like a slave to 
keep her little family together and to make 
a living for them, her husband would never 
even look after the children while she was 
working, if he could sneak out of it. When 
the children were sick, he would retire with- 
out the slightest concern, and leave the jaded 
mother, who had worked all day like a galley 
slave, to nurse them. This man never seemed 
to think that his wife needed much sleep or 
rest, a vacation, holiday, or any change; he 
seldom took her anywhere, and was never 
known to bring her home a flower or aj 
nickel's worth of anything. He thought that 
anything was good enough for his wife. She 
made her clothes over and over again, until 



MOTHER 275 

they were worn out, but he always had to 
have a natty suit, which his wife must keep 
pressed. He insisted upon having his to- 
bacco and toddy, and would always take the 
best of everything for himself, no matter who 
else went without. 

Yet, in spite of the never-ending drudgery, 
the lack of comforts and conveniences in her 
home, and the fact that her health was never 
good; no matter how much her rest was 
broken by attendance upon the sick children, 
or how ill she might be, this woman never 
complained. She was always cheerful, al- 
ways ready to give a helping hand and an 
encouraging word, even to her ungrateful 
husband. Calm, patient, and reassuring, she 
never failed to furnish the balm for the hurts 
of all her family. This woman saw her 
beauty fade, and the ugly lines of care, 
anxiety, and suffering come into her face. 
She saw no prospects of relief from care for 
herself in the future; nothing but increasing 
poverty, homelessness, and not a £ent in the 
savings-bank. Yet she never complained. 
No one heard her denounce her shiftless hus- 
band, the real cause of all her sufferings. 
She literally gave up her life to her family, 
until there was nothing left but the ashes 



276 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

of a burned-out existence, nothing but the 
shell of a once enchantingly beautiful and 
noble woman. 

Ah, this is heroism — to see all the dreams 
of girlhood fade away, nearly everything of 
value go out of the life, and yet to bear 
up under it all with sublime courage, heav- 
enly patience, superb dignity, a wonderful 
mental poise and optimism. If this is not 
heroism, there is none on this earth. 

What is the giving of one's life in battle 
or in a wreck at sea to save another, in com- 
parison with the perpetual sacrifice of a living 
death lasting for half a century or more? 
How the world's heroes dwindle in com- 
parison with the mother heroine! 

Who but a mother would make such sacri- 
fices, drain her very life-blood, all her energy, 
everything, for her children, and yet never 
ask for or expect compensation? 

There is no one in the average family, the 
value of whose services begins to compare 
with those of the mother, and yet there is 
no one who is more generally neglected or 
taken advantage of. She must always re- 
main at home evenings, and look after the 
children, when the others are out having a 
good time. Her cares never cease. She is 



MOTHER 277 

responsible for the housework, for the prepa- 
ration of meals ; she has the children's clothes 
to make or mend, there is company to be 
entertained, darning to be done, and a score 
of little duties which must often be attended 
to at odd moments, snatched from her busy 
days, and she is often up working long after 
every one else in the house is asleep. 

No matter how loving or thoughtful the 
father may be, the heavier burdens, the 
greater anxieties, the weightier responsi- 
bilities of the home, of the children, always 
fall on the mother. Indeed, the very virtues 
of the good mother are a constant tempta- 
tion to the other members of the family, 
especially the selfish ones, to take advantage 
of her. If she were not so kind, so affec- 
tionate and tender, so considerate, so gen- 
erous and ever ready to make all sorts of 
sacrifices for others ; if she were not so will- 
ing to efface herself; if she were more self- 
assertive ; if she stood up for and demanded 
her rights, she would have a much easier 
time. 

But the members of the average family 
seem to take it for granted that they can put 
all their burdens on the patient, uncomplain- 
ing mother ; that she will always do any- 



278 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

thing to help out, and to enable the children 
to have a good time; and in many homes, 
sad to say, the mother, just because of her 
goodness, is shamefully imposed upon and 
neglected. " Oh, mother won't mind, mother 
will stay at home." How often we hear re- 
marks like this from thoughtless children! 

It is always the poor mother on whom the 
burden falls; and the pathetic thing is that 
she rarely gets much credit or praise. 

Many mothers in the poor and working 
classes practically sacrifice all that most 
people hold dearest in life for their children. 
They deliberately impair their health, wear 
themselves out, make all sorts of sacrifices, 
to send a worthless boy to college. They 
take in washing, go out house-cleaning, do 
the hardest and most menial work, in 
order to give their boys and girls an educa- 
tion and the benefit of priceless opportunities 
that they never had; yet, how often, they 
are rewarded only with total indifference and 
neglect ! 

Some time ago I heard of a young girl, 
beautiful, gay, full of spirit and vigor, who 
married and had four children. Her hus- 
band died penniless, and the mother made 
the most heroic efforts to educate the chil- 



MOTHER 279 

dren. By dinf of unremitting toil and un- 
heard of sacrifices and privations she suc- 
ceeded in sending the boys to college and 
the girls to a boarding-school. "When they 
came home, pretty, refined girls and strong 
young men, abreast with all the new ideas 
and tastes of their times, she was a worn- 
out, commonplace old woman. They had 
their own pursuits and companions. She 
lingered among them for two or three years, 
and then died, of some sudden failure of the 
brain. The shock woke them to conscious- 
ness of the truth. They hung over her, as 
she lay unconscious, in an agony of grief. 
The oldest son, as he held her in his arms, 
cried: 'You have been a good mother to 
us ! ' Her face colored again, her eyes kindled 
into a smile, and she whispered : ' You never 
said so before, John/ Then the light died 
out, and she was gone." 

Who can ever depict the tragedies that 
have been enacted in the hearts of American 
mothers, who have suffered untold tortures 
from neglect, indifference, and lack of ap- 
preciation ? 

What a pathetic story of neglect many a 
mother's letters from her grown-up children 
could tell! A few scraggy lines, a 'few sen- 



280 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

tenses now and then, hurriedly written ano 
mailed — often to ease a troubled conscience 
— mere apologies for letters, which chill the 
mother heart. 

There are plenty of wealthy men in this 
country who owe everything to the mothers 
who made all sorts of sacrifices for their 
rearing and education. When they became 
prosperous, these men neglected their de- 
voted mothers, but came to their senses at 
their funerals. Then they spent more 
money on expensive caskets, flowers, and 
emblems of mourning than they had spent 
on their poor, loving, self-sacrificing mothers 
for many years while alive. Men who, per- 
haps, never thought of carrying flowers to 
their mothers in life, pile them high on their 
coffins. There is nothing which pains a 
mother so much as ingratitude from the 
children for whom she has risked her life, and 
to whose care and training she has given her 
best years. 

I know men who owe their success in life 
to their mother; who have become pros- 
perous and influential, because of the splen- 
did training of the self-sacrificing mother, 
and whose education was secured at an inesti- 
mable cost to her, and yet they seldom think 



MOTHER 281 

of taking her flowers, confectionery, little 
delicacies, or taking her to a place of amuse- 
ment, or of giving her a vacation, or bestow- 
ing upon her any of the little attentions and 
favors so dear to a woman's heart. They 
seem to think she is past the age for these 
things, that she no longer cares for them, 
that about all she expects is enough to eat 
and drink, and the simplest kind of raiment. 

These men do not know the feminine heart 
which never changes in these respects, ex- 
cept to grow more appreciative of the little 
attentions, the little considerations, and 
thoughtful acts which meant so much to 
them in their younger days. 

Not long ago I heard a mother, whose suf- 
ferings and sacrifices for her children during 
a long and terrible struggle with poverty 
should have given her a monument, say, that 
she guessed she'd better go to the old ladies' 
home and end her days there. What a pic- 
ture that was! An old lady with white hair 
and a sweet, beautiful face; with a wonder- 
ful light in her eye ; calm, serene, and patient, 
yet dignified, whose children, all of whom 
are married and successful, made her feel 
as if she were a burden. She had no home 
of her own, not a single piece of furniture, 



282 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

or any of the things which are so dear to the 
feminine heart. Think of this old woman, 
who, in order to bring up and educate and 
fit for successful careers half a dozen un- 
grateful, selfish children, had made sacri- 
fices that were simply heartrending, receiv- 
ing, in her old age, only a stingy monthly 
allowance from her prosperous sons! They 
live in luxurious homes, but have never 
offered to provide a home for the poor, old 
rheumatic, broken-down mother, who for so 
many years slaved for them. They put their 
own homes, stocks, and other property in 
their wives' names, and while they pay the 
rent of their mother's meagerly furnished 
rooms and provide for her actual needs, they 
apparently never think what joy it would 
give her to own her own home, and to possess 
some pretty furnishings, and a few pictures. 
I know a mother whose children are in 
easy circumstances who is obliged to ask 
them for everything she has in the way of 
clothing. She is so sensitive, and feels so 
humiliated because of her dependence, that 
she waits just as long as she can before she 
asks for anything; waits until her own sense 
of decency and self-respect forces her prac- 
tically to beg from her children. 



MOTHER 283 

In many cases men through thoughtless- 
ness do not provide generously for their 
mothers even when well able to. They seem 
to think that a mother can live most any- 
where, and most anyway; that if she has 
enough to supply her necessities she is satis- 
fied. Just think, you prosperous business 
men, how you would feel if the conditions 
were reversed, if you were obliged to take the 
dependent, humiliating position of your 
mother ! 

Whatever else you are obliged to neglect, 
take no chances of giving your mother pain 
by neglecting her, and of thus making your- 
self miserable in the future. 

The time may come when you will stand 
by her bedside, in her last sickness, or by her 
coffin, and wish that you had exchanged a 
little of your money for more visits and more 
attentions and more little presents to your 
mother; when you will wish that you had 
cultivated her more, even at the cost of 
making a little less money. 

There is no one else in this world who can 
take your mother's place in your life. And 
there is no remorse like that which comes 
from the remembrance of ill-treating, abus- 
ing, or being unkind to one's mother. These 



284 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

things stand out with awful vividness and 
terrible clearness when the mother is gone 
forever from sight, and you have time to 
contrast your treatment with her long suf- 
fering, tenderness, and love, and her years 
of sacrifice for you. 

One of the most painful things I have ever 
witnessed was the anguish of a son who had 
become wealthy and in his prosperity neg- 
lected the mother, whose sacrifices alone had 
made his success possible. He did not take 
the time to write to her more than twice a 
year, and then only brief letters. He was too 
busy to send a good long letter to the poor 
old lonely mother back in the country, who had 
risked her life and toiled and sacrificed for 
years for him! Finally, when he was sum- 
moned to her bedside in the country, in her 
last sickness, and realized that his mother 
had been for years without the ordinary 
comforts of life, while he had been living in 
luxury, he broke down completely, And 
while he did everything possible to alleviate 
her suffering, in the few last days that re- 
mained to her on earth, and gave her an 
imposing burial, what torture he must have 
suffered at this pitiful picture of his mother 
who had sacrified everything for him! 



MOTHER 285 

No man worthy of the name ever neglects 
or forgets his mother. 

I have an acquaintance, of very poor par- 
entage, who had a hard struggle to get a 
start in the world ; but when he became pros- 
perous and built his beautiful home, he fin- 
ished a suite of rooms in it especially for 
his mother, furnished them with all con- 
veniences and comforts possible, and insisted 
upon keeping a maid specially for her. Al- 
though she lives with her son's family, she is 
made to feel that this part of the great home 
is her own, and that she is as independent 
as though she lived in her own house. Every 
son should be ambitious to see his mother 
as well provided for as his wife. 

Really great men have always reverenced 
and cared tenderly for their mothers. Presi- 
dent McKinley provided in his will that, 
first of all, his mother should be made com- 
fortable for life. 

The first act of Garfield, after he was in- 
augurated president, was to kiss his aged 
mother, who sat near him, and who said this 
was the proudest and happiest moment oi 
her life. 

Ex-President Loubet of France, ever 
after his elevation to the presidency, took 



£86 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

great pride in visiting his mother, who was 
a humble market gardener in a little French 
village. A writer on one occasion, describ- 
ing a meeting between this mother and her 
son, says : " Her noted son awaited her in 
the market-place, as she drove up in her 
little cart loaded with vegetables. Assisting 
his mother to alight, the French president 
gave her his arm and escorted her to her 
accustomed seat. Then holding over her a 
large umbrella, to shield her from the threat- 
ening weather, he seated himself at her side, 
and mother and son enjoyed a long talk 
together." 

I once saw a splendid young college gradu- 
ate introduce his poor, plainly dressed old 
mother to his classmates with as much pride 
and dignity as though she was a queen. Her 
form was bent, her hands were calloused, she 
was prematurely old, and much of this de- 
terioration was caused by all sorts of drudg- 
ery to help her boy to pay his college ex- 
penses. 

I have seen other college men whose 
mothers had made similar sacrifices, and who 
were ashamed to have them attend their 
graduating exercises, ashamed to introduce 
them to their classmates. 



MOTHER 287 

I know of one peculiarly ungrateful son 
whose mother slaved for him for years, 
taking in washing, and going out to work by 
the day in order to send him to college, and 
who looked forward as a reward for all her 
labors to seeing him graduated. When the 
time came, just before commencement, she 
told her son how she longed to hear his com- 
mencement address, but he said that tha: 
would be impossible, because she did not 
have proper clothes to wear; that everybody 
at that fashionable college commencement 
would be elegantly dressed. In other words, 
he tried to discourage her from going be- 
cause he was ashamed of her and did not 
want to introduce her to his classmates and 
teachers. But she was determined to go, 
and, keeping carefully out of her son's sight, 
she gained entrance to the rear of the hall. 
The young man's address was a good one; 
and so proud of her son was the poor old 
woman and so overjoyed at his success that 
when he finished speaking, in the very midst 
of the applause, she rushed up to the plat- 
form and tried to throw her arms around his 
neck. He repulsed her, and afterwards told 
her that he was ashamed that at his gradua- 
tion she should have made such a scene! 



288 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

THat was all the mother got for years of 
sacrifice and effort to help her ungrateful 
son, and she went home alone and broken- 
hearted. 

I have never known a man who was 
ashamed of his mother to make a real man. 
Such men are invariably selfish and mean. 

Think of the humiliation and suffering of 
the slave mother, who has given all the best 
of her life to a large family, battling with 
poverty in her efforts to dignify her little 
home, and to give her children an education, 
when she realizes that she is losing ground 
intellectually, yet has no time or strength 
for reading, or self-culture, no opportunity 
for broadening her mental outlook by travel- 
ing or mingling with the world ! But this is 
nothing compared to the anguish she endures, 
when, after the flower of her youth is gone 
and there is nothing left of her but the ashes 
of a burned-out existence, the shreds of a 
former superb womanhood, she awakes to 
the consciousness that her children are 
ashamed of her ignorance and desire to keep 
her in the background. 

But no matter how callous or ungrateful 
a son may be, no matter how low he may 
sink in vice or crime, he is always sure of 



MOTHER 289 

his mother's love, always sure of one who 
will follow him even to his grave, if she is 
alive and can get there ; of one who will cling 
to him when all others have fled. 

One of the saddest sights I have ever seen 
was that of a poor, old, broken-down mother, 
whose life had been poured into her children, 
making a long journey to the penitentiary to 
visit her boy, who had been abandoned by 
everybody but herself. Poor old mother! 
It did not matter that he was a criminal, 
that he had disgraced his family, that every- 
body else had forsaken him, that he had 
been unkind to her — the mother's heart went 
out to him just the same. She did not see 
the hideous human wreck that crime had 
made. She saw only her darling boy, the 
child that God had given her, pure and in- 
nocent as in his childhoodo 

Oh, there is no other human love like this, 
which follows the child from the cradle to 
the grave, never once abandons, never once 
forsakes it, no matter how unfortunate or 
degenerate it may become. 

" So your best girl is dead," sneeringly 
said a New York magistrate to a young 
man who was arrested for attempting sui- 
cide. "Who was she?" Without raising 



290 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

his eyes, the unfortunate victim burst into 
tears and replied, " She was my mother ! " 
The smile vanished from the magistrate's 
face and, with tears in his eyes, he said, 
' 4 Young man go and try to be a good man 
for your mother's sake." How little we 
realize what tragedy may be going on in 
the hearts of those whom we sneeringly 
condemn ! 

What movement set on foot in recent years, 
deserves heartier support than that for the 
establishment of a national Mothers' Day? 

The day set apart as Mothers' Day by those 
who have inaugurated this movement is the 
second Sunday in May. Let us unite in do- 
ing all we can to make it a real Mothers' 
Day, by especially honoring our mothers; in 
the flesh, those of us who are so fortunate 
as to have our mothers with us ; in the spirit, 
those who are not so fortunate. 

If away from her, write a good, loving 
letter, or telephone or telegraph to the best 
mother who ever lived — your mother. Send 
her some flowers, an appropriate present; go 
and spend the day with her, or in some other 
way make her heart glad. Show her that 
you appreciate her, and that you give ^er 
credit for a large part of your success. 



MOTHER 291 

Let us do all we can to make up for past 
neglect of the little-known, half-appreciated, 
unheralded mothers who have had so little 
credit in the past, and are so seldom men- 
tioned among the world's achievers, by 
openly, and especially in our hearts, paying 
our own mothers every tribute of honor, re- 
spect, devotion, and gratitude that love and 
a sense of duty can suggest. Let us acknowl- 
edge to the world the great debt we owe 
them by wearing, every one of us, boy and 
girl, man and woman, on Mothers' Day, a 
white carnation — the flower chosen as the 
symbol and emblem of motherhood. 

Happily chosen emblem! What could 
more fittingly represent motherhood, with its 
whiteness symbolizing purity ; its lasting qual- 
ities, faithfulness; its fragrance, love; its 
wide field of growth, charity; its form, 
beauty ! 

What an impressive and beautiful tribute 
to motherhood it would be for a whole na- 
tion to unite one day in wearing its chosen 
emblem, and in song and speech, and other 
appropriate exercises, to honor its mothers! 



XX. THE HOME AS. A SCHOOL OF 
GOOD MANNERS 




XX. THE HOME AS A SCHOOL OF 
GOOD MANNERS 

|OT long ago I visited a home 
where such exceptionally- 
good breeding prevailed and 
such fine manners were 
practiced by all the mem- 
bers of the family, that it 
made a great impression upon me. 

This home is the most remarkable school 
of good manners, refinement, and culture 
generally, I have ever been in. The parents 
are bringing up their children to practice 
their best manners on all occasions. They 
do not know what company manners mean. 
The boys have been taught to treat their 
sisters with as much deference as though 
they were stranger guests. The politeness, 
courtesy, and consideration which the mem- 
bers of this family show toward one another 
are most refreshing and beautiful. Coarse- 
ness, gruffness, lack of delicacy find no place 
there. 

Both boys and girls have been trained from 
infancy to make themselves interesting, and 
to entertain and try to make others happy. 

295 



2g6 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

The entire family make it a rule to dress 
before dinner in the evening, just as they 
would if special company were expected. 

Their table manners are specially marked. 
At table every one is supposed to be at his 
best, not to bring any grouch, or a long or 
sad face to it, but to contribute his best 
thought, his wittiest sayings, to the conversa- 
tion. Every member of the family is expected 
to do his best to make the meal a really 
happy occasion. There is a sort of rivalry 
to see who can be the most entertaining, or 
contribute the spiciest bits of conversation. 
There is no indication of dyspepsia in this 
family, because every one is trained to laugh 
and be happy generally, and laughter is a 
fatal enemy of indigestion. 

The etiquette of the table is also strictly 
observed. Every member of the family tries 
to do just the proper thing and always to be 
mindful of others' rights. Kindness seems 
to be practiced for the joy of it, not for 
the sake of creating a good impression on 
friends or acquaintances. There is in this 
home an air of peculiar refinement which is 
very charming. The children are early 
taught to greet callers and guests cordially, 
heartily, in real Southern, hospitable fashion, 



THE HOME AS A SCHOOL 297 

and to make them feel that they are very wel- 
come. They are taught to make every one 
feel comfortable and at home, so that there 
will be no sense of restraint. 

As a result of this training the children 
have formed a habit of good behavior and are 
considered an acquisition to any gathering. 
They are not embarrassed by the awkward 
slips and breaks which are so mortifying to 
those who only wear their company manners 
on special occasions. 

A stranger would almost think this home 
was a school of good breeding, and it is a 
real treat to visit these people. It is true 
the parents in this family have the advantage 
of generations of fine breeding and Southern 
hospitality back of them, which gives the 
children a great natural advantage. There 
is an atmosphere of chivalry and cordiality 
in this household which is really refreshing. 

Many parents seem to expect that their 
children will pick up their good manners 
outside of the home, in school, or while visit- 
ing. This is a fatal mistake. Every home 
should be a school of good manners and good 
breeding. The children should be taught that 
there is nothing more important than the de- 
velopment of an interesting personality, an 



298 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

attractive presence, and an ability to enter- 
tain with grace and ease. They should be 
taught that the great object of life is to de- 
velop a superb personality, a noble manhood 
and womanhood. 

There is no art like that of a beautiful 
hehavior, a fine manner, no wealth greater 
than that of a pleasing personality. 



XXL SELF-IMPROVEMENT AS AN 
INVESTMENT 




XXL SELF-IMPROVEMENT AS AN 
INVESTMENT 

T is not by leaps or bounds, 
but by steady, persistent 
growth that strong charac- 
ters are made. 

The trouble with most of 
us is that we are too ambi- 
tious to do great things at once. It is the 
persistent trying to make ourselves a little 
larger, a little broader, the continual effort 
to push the horizon of ignorance a little fur- 
ther away by good reading or study, that 
counts. 

We can not help believing in the youth 
who is always trying to improve himself, who 
takes advantage of every opportunity to 
make himself a little better informed, who 
always has some good reading on hand for 
his leisure moments, and who is always ask- 
ing questions, observing, and trying to get 
an education. 

Such eagerness to improve oneself is an 
indication of a mark of superiority, the 
genius that wins. Ambitionless, lazy, indif- 
ferent youth prefer "a good time" to ac- 
quiring knowledge. They are not willing to 

301 



302 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

give up their pleasure, ease, and comfort for 
the sake of improving themselves. Our op- 
portunities for self-improvement, for mind 
training and heart training in every-day life 
are not well appreciated. No matter what 
our occupation may be, we can always be in 
the best kind of a school. It is a question of 
holding the mind alert. Those who form the 
habit of gaining the best from books, the 
best from conversation, the best from every 
experience in life, know the secret of per- 
petual growth. 

There is nothing else that will give you 
greater satisfaction in after years than the 
forming of such systematic habits of self- 
culture early in life as to make your self-im- 
provement processes automatic. In this way 
it becomes just as natural for you to seize 
every bit of leisure for the reading of some- 
thing helpful or useful, or for storing up 
valuable knowledge from your observation, 
as it is for you to breathe. 

I am acquainted with a young man who 
travels a great deal by rail and water, who 
always carries with him wherever he goes 
some good reading matter in as condensed 
a form as possible, miniature classics or the 
lesson papers of a correspondence school. 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 303 

He is always doing something to improve 
himself in the odds and ends of time which 
most people throw away. The result is, he 
is well informed upon a great variety of 
subjects. He is very widely read in history, 
in English literature, in the sciences, and 
in other important branches of knowledge. 
What this man has accomplished in the odds 
and ends of time is a constant rebuke to 
those who waste all their time in doing 
nothing, or in doing that which is infinitely 
worse than nothing. 

You perhaps do ot half realize the ines- 
timable value of time spent in good reading 
or some other form of self -improvement. 

You perhaps do not half realize the ines- 
cated like Mr. Blank, if you only had op- 
portunities like some others, you could have 
done much better than you are now doing. 

But did you ever think that scores of 
people have given themselves the equivalent 
of a college education in their spare mo- 
ments, and long winter evenings? 

A person might as well say that there is 
no use in trying to save anything from hia 
small salary or income, because the amount 
would never make him rich, so he might as 
well spend it as he goes along, as to say he 



304 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

never can get a liberal education by study- 
ing during his spare time. 

The more one saves, the nearer he comes 
to being rich. The more you know, the bet- 
ter educated you are. Every bit of knowl- 
edge you store up enriches your life by so 
much. All these little self-investments make 
you so much better off, — make you so much 
larger, fuller, so much better able to cope 
with life. 

You can never make a better investment 
than by forming the good reading habit. It 
will multiply your efficiency, give you so 
much more power to break away from your 
iron environment, to throw off the yoke of 
dependence which galls you. It will make 
you more independent and self-reliant. The 
increased knowledge will increase your con- 
fidence in yourself. And, in addition to all 
this, if your knowledge is practical and you 
use it wisely, it will make you think more 
of yourself, make you more of a man. 

There never was a time in the history of 
the world when education was worth so 
much as to-day, when added knowledge adds 
so much power. 

Competition has become so terrific, and 
life so strenuous that you need to be armed 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 305 

with every particle of mental culture possi- 
ble. The greatest work you can do in the 
world is that of raising your own value. 
There is no gift which you can ever make 
to the world like that of a superb manhood, 
or a beautiful womanhood. You can do 
nothing higher than this. 

What a golden opportunity confronts you 
for coining your bits of leisure into knowl- 
edge that will mean growth of character, 
promotion, advancement, power, riches that 
no accident can take from you, no disaster 
annihilate. Will you throw away the oppor- 
tunity, as so many others are thoughtlessly 
doing ? 

Within the last ten years our great rail- 
roads have spent many millions of dollars 
straightening curves on their lines, to save 
a few minutes' time. The late Mr. Harriman 
spent vast sums for this purpose. In early 
railroad days the great object was to avoid 
expense. The railroads often took a serpen- 
tine direction, winding around mountains, 
hills, and long distances to avoid heavy cuts, 
fillings, or bridges. Time was not so valuable 
then as now, but, as life became more strenu- 
ous, competition keener, and men's time of 
more worth, the roads were shortened and 



3 o6 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

better beds, heavier cars, and heavier rails 
came. 

Modern business men consider it great 
economy to take short routes and fast trains 
because of the rapidly increasing value of 
time, insure speed, safety, and economy of 
the great mottoes of to-day. 

Everything possible is now done to save 
time, ensure speed, safety, and economy of 
energy. Any railroad to-day which could 
cut the Twentieth Century Limited's time be- 
tween New York and Chicago half an hour 
would very quickly put the Twentieth Cen- 
tury out of business, unless it also could in- 
crease speed. This is an age of bee-line 
short cuts and quick methods in everything. 

Business men will pay more for any de- 
vice or facility which will save time than for 
almost anything else. No expense or in- 
genuity is spared, especially by the great 
railroads which run competing lines, to 
accomplish shortened routes, to quicken 
service. 

In the pioneer stage days of our history, 
before competition had become so fierce, a 
liberal education and special training were 
not so necessary as they are to-day. Now 
the youth must be a specialist, must spend 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 307 

years in training for his specialty. He must 
lay a larger and firmer foundation for prepa- 
ration than formerly if he expects to get 
anywhere near the top of his vocation. He 
must remove all possible obstructions, must 
have a better training, better equipment, and 
more scientific outfit in every way, or he can 
not hope to succeed. As the railroad to-day 
which will persist in winding about hills and 
meandering long distances to avoid a river 
crossing or tunneling hills or mountains 
has no chance in competition w r ith up-to- 
date roads, so the young man who expects 
to get on can not afford any handicap which 
will retard his progress or reduce his chances 
of success. 

The trouble with most youths is that they 
do not pay enough attention to straightening 
their tracks and reducing grades. They try 
to speed on crooked, ill-made roads and dan- 
gerous grades, with light rails, poor equip- 
ment, and the result is thousands of wrecks. 

Every man should lay out a clean, straight, 
level track to his goal. All obstructions 
should be removed, all dangers and risks 
reduced to a minimum, making his road 
straight, firm, solid, and safe. 

When great railroads make test trials in 



308 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

competing* for the transcontinental mails, 
they not only see that the tracks, the cars, 
and the engines are in perfect condition; 
they even pick out the finest pieces of coal, 
those containing the greatest possible amount 
of energy, and which leave the smallest 
amount of clinkers or ashes. The utmost 
care is exercised in lubricating bearings. 
Tracks are kept clear, and everything possi- 
ble is done to secure speed and safety. 

Yet everywhere we see people making their 
great life race in poor, broken-down cars, on 
crooked tracks, light, loose rails, over heavy 
grades. They are always losing time by rea- 
son of hot boxes and accidents of all kinds, 
yet they wonder why they can not compete 
with those who are better equipped. They 
took little or no precaution to insure success 
when they started out on their trip; little re- 
gard was paid to the condition of their roads 
or cars, to the fuel as to its energy and bulk, 
or to any of the essential things on which 
success depends. Yet they wonder why they 
do not win in the race. 

Education is power. No matter how small 
your salary may be, every bit of valuable in- 
formation you pick up, every bit of good 
reading or thinking you do, in fact every- 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 309 

thing you do to make yourself a larger and 
completer man or woman, will also help you 
to advance. I have known boys who were 
working very hard for very little money to 
do more for their advancement in their spare 
time, their half-holidays, by improving their 
minds, than by the actual work they did. 
Their salaries were insignificant in compar- 
ison with their growth of mind. 

I know a young man who jumped in one 
bound from a salary of five thousand to ten 
thousand dollars, largely because of his in- 
satiable effort at self-improvement. His 
great passion seemed to be to make the largest 
and completest man possible. This young 
man is a good example of the possibility of 
reputation to help one on in the world. Every- 
body who knew him, knew that he was deter- 
mined to make something of himself. It did 
not make any difference if his fellow em- 
ployees wanted to throw their time away, he 
didn't. They soon found that it was of no 
use to try to tease him away from his read- 
ing or studying, for he had set his mind 
toward the future. He had no idea of being 
a little, small, picayune man. He had a pas- 
sion for enlargement, for growth. Those 
who worked with him were very much sur- 



310 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

prised at his rapid advancement; but there 
was a good reason for every bit of it. While 
they were spending their evenings and money 
trying to have a good time, he was trying to 
educate himself by a rigid course of self- 
improvement. 

Everywhere we see young men and young 
women tied to very ordinary positions all 
their lives simply because, though they had 
good brains, they were never cultivated, 
never developed. They have never tried to 
improve themselves by reading good litera- 
ture. Their salaries on a Saturday night, 
and a good time, are about all they see; and 
the result is the narrow, the contracted, the 
pinched career. Men and women who have 
utilized only a very small percentage of their 
ability, — not made it available by discipline 
and education, — always work at a great dis- 
advantage. A man capable, by nature, of 
being an employer, is often compelled to be 
a very ordinary employee because his mind 
is totally untrained. 

One of the greatest questions that confronts 
this age is that of adult education. The com- 
mercial prizes and the opportunities are so 
great in this country that the youth early 
catch the money-making contagion, and they 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 311 

are impatient to get jobs and to get a start 
in life. 

Many of them can not see the use of so 
many years of drudgery in school and col- 
lege. And their judgment is not sufficiently 
developed. They have neither had the ex- 
perience, nor have they the judgment to real- 
ize the infinite value of a well-stored mind. 

They are not old enough to realize the 
tremendous handicap of ignorance in their 
later careers when they come to wrestle with 
men who have had a superb mental training. 

The result is, that, unless the youths are 
fortunate enough to have parents who ap- 
preciate the situation, and who can hold them 
to their task until they are fitted to enter the 
battle of the strong, or, unless they have ad- 
visors who can control them, they quit school 
and start out in life half prepared, only to 
see their terrible mistake when they get right 
into the fight with commercial giants who are 
superbly trained. 

Later they see their mistake, and continue 
to regret it, without making any special effort 
to compensate for their loss. 

Unfortunately most adults have the im- 
pression that if they have once passed the 
youthful, impressionable period, they can 



3 i2 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

never make up for it, can never get an edu- 
cation, can never compensate for their loss. 

Now, there certainly will be devised a per- 
fectly practical educational system by which 
adults can, even while carrying on their vo- 
cations, get a very fair equivalent for a good 
education, even a college course. 

The misconception rests largely upon the 
fact that it is not so easy to commit to mem- 
ory later in life, hence not so easy to learn 
the rudimentary rules of grammar, of mathe- 
matics, and other elementary branches. 

On the other hand, most of the other fac- 
ulties are just as susceptible, and some of 
them very much stronger, in a much better 
Condition to take advantage of an education. 

The young person does not realize what an 
education will really mean to him. His 
judgment is not mature. He has not had 
the experience, while the adult realizes his 
loss and is more eager to make up for it. 
He can work harder, is generally willing to 
make sacrifices if he is only sure that he can 
still compensate for his loss. 

He will know better what will be of great 
value and what of little value to him. He 
will be very much more practical in gaining 
his knowledge. He will be more eager to 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 313 

learn, especially after he gets far enough to 
see the great advantage of what he is get- 
ting. 

There never was a time in the world's his- 
tory when leaders in adult education were so 
much needed as to-day. There are millions 
of people waiting for it, eager for it, hungry 
for it; but they do not know how to begin. 

The inventor of a fair substitute for a lib- 
eral education for the adult, — an education 
that will be practical and comparatively easy 
to obtain, especially one that can be obtained 
in spare time, in odd minutes, in long winter 
evenings, without being too hard or too exact- 
ing, or too disagreeable, will render a greater 
service to the world than has almost any in- 
ventor. 

Most adults, even when they realize their 
great loss of an early education, and are 
eager to compensate for it, do not know how 
to go to work to do it. 

They do not realize how much of this Can 
be done by systematic reading, even a little 
at a time. 

Most of these people are incapable of self- 
direction or systematic study. They need 
leaders who will direct them and encourage 
them, and hold them to their task until they 



3H BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

have acquired the absorption habit, the read- 
ing habit, the study habit, the thinking habit. 

I am constantly coming in contact with 
people who tell me that it is the regret of 
their lives that they left school so early, or 
that they did not go to college, but who say 
that the time has gone by now, that it is too 
late to make up for their loss and they must 
do the best they can. 

Getting an education is like getting a for- 
tune. Most people do not think that little sav- 
ings amount to much. They spend all their 
loose change because saving it would not 
amount to much towards making up a for- 
tune. And so they keep spending and do not 
get the fortune. 

Multitudes of adults who feel the need of 
making up for their early educational losses, 
do not think that a few minutes of reading 
during their spare time, or a little study dur- 
ing the evenings or half-holidays, would go 
very far towards acquiring an education. 

And yet thousands of people have gotten a 
splendid substitute for a college course just 
in this way. 

I know some very able men who have ob- 
tained most of their education by reading 
alone. They went to school but very little, 



SELF-IMPROVEMENT 3 1 5 

but, by the persistent reading- habit, they have 
become well-educated in history, in politics 
and literature, in philosophy, and well-posted 
in all sorts of things. And they have achieved 
all of this during their evenings and odd mo- 
ments, which most people either throw away 
or spend in hunting for pleasure. 

The pursuit of education by a soul hun- 
gry for knowledge, yearning for mental en^ 
largement, is the highest kind of pleasure, 
because it gives infinite satisfaction and in- 
finite advantage. 

One of the grandest sights in the world is 
that of an adult seizing every opportunity to 
make up for the loss of early educational ad- 
vantages, pouring his very soul into his spare 
moments and evenings, trying to make him- 
self a larger, fuller, completer man. 



XXII. A RELIGIOUS SLOT MACHINE 




XXII. A RELIGIOUS SLOT MACHINE 

OME people expect tremen- 
dous things of their Creator. 
They expect God to be lib- 
eral, and pray for abundance 
of health, and ask Him to 
pour material blessings and 
all good without stint. Yet they are very 
mean and stingy in everything that relates to 
their religion, contemptible in their charities, 
in their assistance of others, in their help of 
the church. 

Did you ever think that your attitude to- 
wards your fellow men, towards the poor, the 
unfortunate, your treatment of the Creator's 
institutions here on earth, your treatment of 
His children, constitute your treatment of 
Him ? " Inasmuch as ye have done it unto 
the least of these my brethren, ye have done 
it unto Me." 

Many people seem to think that the Creator 
is some power entirely separate from human 
beings, and that their dealings must be di- 
rectly with Him. 

I knew of a man who said he thanked God 
that there was one good thing in the world 
that was cheap, — that he did not believe his 

319 



320 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

religion cost him over twenty-five cents a 
year. He got just about twenty-five cents' 
worth out of his religion annually. Our re- 
ligions are slot machines, and if we put in a 
quarter, we get out only a quarter's worth. 

We get out of a thing what we put into it. 
If we are stingy with God, he will necessarily 
be stingy with us, because it is our acts that 
open or close the gates of our minds, — the 
gates of appreciation and of happiness. 

The farmer who is stingy with his seed 
corn gets a stingy harvest. The Creator does 
not crowd our lives with rich things when we 
are mean with Him. We limit our receptive 
capacity by what we give out. 

We get a stingy education, if we are stingy 
in study. We must give liberally before we 
get, in every department of life. I have never 
known a person who is mean in giving time, 
sympathy, and money to the church, who ever 
got much out of it. 

The Creator will not flood your life with 
good things, with fat things, when you are so 
mean that you will not give up a cent if you 
can possibly avoid it, or give time and help- 
fulness. 

We limit our receipts. The Creator can 
not give us more than we will allow Him. 



A RELIGIOUS SLOT MACHINE 321 

What we get must come through our mental 
avenues, and, if these are closed by ourselves, 
even the Almighty can not reach us with 
abundance. 

Have you not known people too contemp- 
tible to get very much out of life, anyway? 
It pains them to give up anything. They 
think every dollar they get is theirs. They 
do not look upon themselves as trustees for 
the general benefit of their fellow men. 

It is the large-hearted, generous, magnani- 
mous man that gets the blessings. He who 
gives out gets back; our own acts determine 
our harvest. If we are liberal and open- 
handed, our harvest will be rich and abun- 
dant. 

Small souls cut off their own supply. They 
limit what they get by their narrowness, pinch- 
iness. 

The Good Book gives us the recipe for 
getting. " Give and it shall be given unto 
thee." " To him that hath shall be given." 

It ought to make you feel mean to slip a 
nickel, or less, into the contribution box of 
your church, which you pretend means so 
much to you. 

Others may not see, or know of your stingy 
gift. But you know that such a thing would 



322 BE GOOD TO YOURSELF 

be considered mean and contemptible between 
business men. And what shall we say of such 
a transaction between yourself and your God? 

I have seen people who were well fixed in 
life put coppers into the contribution box, 
just because they thought others would not 
know how much they gave. 

What stories of lying, of deception, the 
church contribution box could tell ! How 
mortified, humiliated, disgraced many men 
would be if these boxes could tell the truth to 
the congregation! 

Some people who would be liberal on a sub- 
scription paper, because other people would 
know what they gave, would cheat their God 
when the contribution box was passed. 

If you can not be conscientious in your giv- 
ing to your Maker, can there be any con- 
scientiousness in your character? If you are 
not true to your God, will you be true to your 
fellow men or true to yourself? 



Letters to Dr. Marden concerning 

Ibe Can Mbo Gbinfta 1be Can 



Will Do Amazing Good 
•'•' I believe ' He Can "Who Thinks He Can, ' compris- 
ing some of your editorials, which appear akin to divine 
inspiration in words of cheer, hope, courage and success, 
will do amazing good." 

James Peter, Independence, Kas. 

Greatest Things Ever Written 
"Your editorials on the subjects of self-confidence 
and self-help are the greatest things ever written along 
that line." H. L. Dunlap, Waynesburg, Pa. 

Gripping Power 

" Presents the truth in a remarkably clear and for- 
cible manner, with a gripping power back of the writing. 
It is beautiful and inspiring." 

C. W. Smelser, Coopertown, Okla. 

Beginning of My Success 
" Your editorials have helped me more than any other 
reading. The beginning of my success was when I 
commenced to practise your teachings." 

Bruce Hartman, Honolulu, T. H. 

Wishes to Reprint It 

" I have been very much impressed by the chapter on 

1 New Thought, New Life. ' I would like to send a 

copy of it to two thousand of my customers, giving due 

credit of course." John D. Morris, Philadelphia, Pa. 

Full of Light and Joy 

" I have studied the subject of New Thought for ten 
years, but have never seen anything so comprehensive, 
so full of light and joy, as your treatment of it. When 
I think of the good it will do, and the thousands it will 
reach, my heart rejoices." 

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'peace, tyomt <mo f)fcnty 



" I cannot thank you enough 

for ' Peace, Power and Plenty.' Your former book, 
1 Every man a King,' has been my ' bedside book ' for 
many months now, — the new one is even more of a 
comfort." — Blanche Bates. 

" I have read with great pleasure, 

interest and profit your admirable ' Peace, Power and 
Plenty.' To have written such a book is a service to 
the race." — 4 Charles Edward Russell. 

Andrew Carnegie says 
" I thank you for ' Why Grow Old ? ' (a chapter in 
' Peace, Power and Plenty ')." 

John Burroughs says 

" I am reading a chapter or two in ' Peace, Power and 
Plenty' each evening. You preach a sound, vigorous, 
wholesome doctrine." 

" The most valuable chapter for me " 

says Thomas Wentworth Higginson, "is that on 'Why 
Grow Old ?' I wish to learn just that. I am now 85, 
and have never felt old yet, but I shall keep your 
chapter at hand in case that should ever happen to me." 

Conan Doyle says 
" I find it very stimulating and interesting." 

" The chapter on * Health Through Right Thinking* 

alone is worth five hundred dollars." — Samuel Brill, 
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Letters to Dr. Marden concerning 

J£vet£ flfean a Iking 



Success vs. Failure 

" One of the most inspiring books I have ever read. 
I should like to purchase a thousand and distribute 
them, as I believe the reading of this book would make 
the difference between success and failure in many lives." 
Chas. E. Schmick, House of Representatives, Mass. 

Worth One Hundred Dollars 

" I would not take one hundred dollars for your book, 
' Every Man a King, ' if no other were available." 

Willard Merriam, New York City. 

Unfailing Optimism 

" The unfailing note of optimism which rings through 
all your works is distinctly sounded here." 

W. E. Huntington, Pres., Boston University. 

The Keynote of Life 

"'Every Man a King' strikes the keynote of life. 
Any one of its chapters is well worth the cost of the 
book." E. J. Teagarden, Danbwry, Conn. 

Simply Priceless 

" I have just read it with tremendous interest, and I 
frankly say that I regard it as simply priceless. Its 
value to me is immeasurable, and I should be glad if I 
could put it in the hands of every intelligent young 
man and woman in this country." 

Chas. Stokes Wayne, Chappaqua, N. Y. 

Renewed Ambition 

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newed ambition. I shall ever keep it near at hand as 
a frequent reminder and an invaluable text-book." 

H. H. Williams, Brockton, Mass. 

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Letters to Dr. Marden concerning 

Ipusbino to tbe fxont 



What President McKinley Said 

" It cannot but be an inspiration to every boy or girl 
who reads it, and who is possessed of an honorable and 
high ambition. Nothing that I have seen of late is 
more worthy to be placed in the hands of the American 
youth." William McKinley. 

An English View 

" I have read ' Pushing to the Front ' with much 
interest. It would be a great stimulus to any young 
man entering life." Sir John Lubbock. 

A Powerful Factor 

" This book has been a powerful factor in making a 
great change in my life. I feel that I have been born 
into a new world." 

Robert S. Livingston, Deweyville, Tex. 

The Helpfulest Book 

" ' Pushing to the Front ' is more of a marvel to me 
every day. I read it almost daily. It is the helpfulest 
book in the English language." 

Myron T. Pritchard, Boston, Mass. 

A Practical Gift 

" It has been widely read by our organization of some 
fifteen hundred men. I have personally made presents 
of more than one hundred copies." 

E. A. Evans, President Chicago Portrait Co, 

Its Weight in Gold 

"If every young man could read it carefully at the 
beginning of his career it would be worth more to him 
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Opinions and Reviews of Dr. Marden's 

Zhc Secret of achievement 



Exasperating 

" ' The Secret of Achievement ' is one of those exas- 
perating books which you feel you ought to present to 
your young friends, yet find yourself unwilling to part 
with." William B. Warren, Former President 

Boston University. 

Art of Putting Things 

ft I have studied Dr. Marden's books with deep inter- 
est. He has the art of putting things ; of planting in 
the mind convictions that will live. I know of no works 
that contain equal inspiration for life." 

Hezekiah Butterworth. 

A Great Service 

"I thoroughly feel that you are rendering a great 
service to young men and women in America and 
throughout the world." 

Rev. R. S. MacArthur, D. D., New York City. 

The Difference 

" ' Pushing to the Front ' is a great book and ' Rising 
in the World ' is a magnificent book, but ' The Secret 
of Achievement ' is a superb book." 

Success against Odds 

" This volume contains a series of stimulating anec- 
dotes and advice showing how energy, force of well-di- 
rected will, application, lofty purpose, and noble ideals 
serve to win success even against the greatest odds. 
Many a young man will draw inspiration from it which 
will aid him in making his life work a success." 

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